I was just wondering are there many guys that don't enjoy bjs? My bf says he doesn't like them that much...I found this really odd. I am a virgin, and don't want to have sex with him yet, but he pleases me so much, I feel guilty...I wanna please him so badly in return and don't know what to do.
I gave him one once, but he said that his penis was sore...I don't know what I did wrong (I didn't know at the time he didn't like them). This has never happend to me before. I really want to try again and make it better for him, I have picked up some tips since then lol.
What can I do to make this better? Is it just a case that some guys don't, and won't enjoy them..? I have never come across this lol
I think there are some guys who don't care for it, but not many! Don't blame yourself; it's a fact of life that some people who are attractive in many ways have some unfortunate attitudes toward sex.
How many guys have you known who liked it?!
...I don't know why it made him sore though...
Are some guys more sensetive to it? It really worried me when he asked me to stop lol. I am not an expert by any means, but I have done it a few times and have certainly not had any complaints until now..
Are there any other things people could suggest to give him pleasure, that aren't sex? I guess a hand job, but to be honest, I feel more awkward doing that
There are a few oddballs out there, very few, who don't like blow jobs. When performing fellatio you need to remember that there is much more to it than simply putting a penis in your mouth and sucking on it.
I suggest you read through all the threads on this forum regarding fellatio, blow job and oral sex and also read the section on the home page about this.
> I wanna please him so badly in return and don't know what to do.
And in addition, please read this article listed in the Index:
How Do I Get Him/Her to Orgasm From a Hand/Blow Job?
> I don't know why it made him sore though...
Possibly technique; possibly timing; possibly both
If your teeth happen to scrape against him, this can be irritable; however, what you are describing seems more likely to be that you begin too early when he is not aroused to a high degree, and/or, that that your technique although not bad is going on too long.
The latter is a discussion you should have with him. You need feedback that only he can provide.
Stimulating the glans of his penis can be done a little bit early on when you first begin foreplay; however, the serious work should wait until you have him near the peak of his arousal curve. Explore and work together on this and ask for his feedback (verbal or non-verbal) on how he is responding to your caresses.
ty for your responces.
...there were definatly no teeth lol. And I can't see that it was too early...we had been kisssing/necking/him performing foreplay on me for some time before. In fact, he just kept wanting to do things for me lol...but he was very turned on.
I have read the articles on here since then. ...it was probs by no means great, as I was a lil nervous and less experienced then him. These tips have helped...so I feel a follow up would be a great improvment on my part lol.
He told me about a week or two after that he didn't actually enjoy recieving oral. In one way I was relieved, and this made sence, as I was really concerned I must of done something really wrong when he didn't want me to continue at the time. But on the other hand I was like...wtf...who doesn't like recieving oral?!
I think you are right in that I shall have to talk to him...maybe it is partly psychollogical or something..
And I will also try and improve, and see if he wants me to try again maybe...im sure I will be better this time. I can't live with him doing all the pleasing, and me doing nothing inreturn...tis selfish
Is his penis intact in that he has a foreskin, or has he been circumcised?
If he has a foreskin then there in probably lies your answer. The glans of a penis covered and protected by a foreskin is quite sensitive. Many fellas cannot tolerate having their glans touched directly. If so, then you will have to work thru the foreskin.
If the glans is exposed then you should probably talk to him about how he masturbates and what is different about what you do orally and manually than what he does. With some answers the two of you should be able to work out a technique that is pleasurable for him.
The REAL point is that YOU are not LISTENING to HIM. You are in here trying to make up for your poor performance when in fact it wouldn't matter how good you were at oral sex because:
HE DOESN'T LIKE IT
Instead of treating him like an adult who knows what he likes or not and taking him at his word, you're treating him like a child who is too stupid/inexperienced to know.
Since when is that a good thing in any relationship?
STOP
Instead of pestering him to permit you to do something he doesn't like, ask him what he does like and do that.
DUH!!
Very few guys don't enjoy a bj. But there must be some and maybe you have just found one that doesn't. Hand jobs are nice also and especially with some lube. I had many hand jobs before I ever received a bj. The hand jobs were great and just having her nice soft hands stroking my cock was exciting. I still enjoy lots of hand play by my partner. It may be something he doesn't enjoy now but could in the future. In the future he may find bj's pleasurable and then he may never enjoy it. For now I would suggest just enjoying the pleasure her gives you and find something else for him. Down the road, this could be one thing that shows some incapatablility between your sexual desires and his and could be a concern. But I think you and him are aways from a serious relationship that this could matter.
You say he's more experienced than you, so he knows what he likes and dislikes. I agree that you shouldn't try to push on the BJ issue.
[QUOTE=springfever;247116]he pleases me so much...I wanna please him so badly in return and don't know what to do.[/QUOTE]
Express this to him, and ask him to tell/show you what you can do for him in return.
When I first became sexual I recieved oral from a couple of guys that did it wrong so that made me not like it and I didnt want ANYONE performing it on me.
I havent met a guy in my life that doesnt enjoy getting oral, but I think that maybe he just hasnt recieved it the correct way. Try reading and doing as much research as possible to give good oral and practice on a similiar shaped object. Tell him you want to try and it would only be fair he lets you.
...but what he would like is to have sex, and Im not yet ready for that..
But I get your point, in that he probablly gonna know his likes and dislikes to a certain degree by now.
Like I said, I think I shall have to speak to him bout it. And maybe try again after some practise on a "similar shaped object"...and try an work around what he does not like about it. If he doesn't enjoy then, I guess Ill just leave it at that...guess ill have to cope with doing the recieving mainly lol. I just figure he may get board of hand jobs or something..i dunno..
Yes, just chat with him. There are ways to pleasure him other than oral and intercourse.
Just thought I would share my happiness...
Everything has been going well, and spoke to him bout my insecurities in not being able to fully pleasure him, to which he still just responds that he is happy pleasing me, and it turns him on to turn me on, and that there is not much I can do. But knowing I want to try, we are making out and he says that he wants me to try if I still want.
I was worried it would end like before, so said for him to like, tell me what he liked as i was doing it. :S But it didn't :D He loved it soo much haha. Sorry if tmi, but I was very happy. And he was coz I was. He even asked for one again later the same night haha.
Think it's coz he's a bit of a clean freak that put him off; wasn't keen on the idea of kissing after, but yay. The deep throat he very much liked ;)
Thbak you for everyones advice
Yes some guys don't enjoy it. I didn't at first until I talked it over with my girlfriend on how to improve it. I was sore the first time she did it. When she did it, she had her mouth closed down tight against it and her teeth dug in and was scrapping it as she was going up in down. What I suggested to her to make it better was to either don't close as tight or wrap her lips around her teeth so she's not like bitting down. You should try that if that was the problem.
ty for the advice...don't think this was the case as i do this already...teeth sounds ver painful :S
I had only ever tried b4, and I think it was a combination of psychological disliking, he is more sensitive than average and lack of lube.
Anyhow is all great now; i improved my technique, and he let down a barrier; and he loved it quite frankly. Even more so loved the smile on my face after. Had driven me mad for weeks that I couldn't get him to cum. And that he let me makes me feel kinda privileged :D
I am not a fan of oral sex on me, i find it more interesting doing it to the female then me, i rather 69 then total oral by itself
69 is better with you can get the female to orgasm and your not so focused on it being done to you, the guy is working on the female instead while still feeling good
maybe try that as something different other then just doing things to him
when you do 69 do a mix of oral / hand so it wont hurt so much to him
...I don't think you read the whole post.
He has only found it painfull once months ago, and put me an him off. He since said that he generally doesn't like bjs but never explained why. But let me this week, as he feels comfortable with me, and knew I felt insecure in not fully satisfying him; even though he claimed he didn't mind. And those times he loved it, and made us all the closer, as is something he would not allow many to do. Bit of a clean freak i think tis why. But he liked. No pain. yay :) I'm simply sharing the joy lol
Ps, 69 is a good idea, cept I loose focus on what I am doing...tend to get a lil too distracted hehe
[QUOTE=springfever;251278]... Bit of a clean freak i think tis why. But he liked. No pain. yay :) I'm simply sharing the joy lol[/QUOTE]
For what it's worth, I don't like BJs from my current partner, but I love BJs more than almost anything in the world from other partners. My current partner doesn't like giving it and I can feel that, and as a result, I don't like BJs from her. She's also scared of me cumming on her, or in her mouth, so that's another source of tension between us.
With other partners, I've absolutely loved BJs. If they have the right attitude and are having fun at it, I'm having fun. The absolute best BJs I ever had is when my partners are laughing and enjoying the feel of my cock in her mouth, and she is running her fingers all over my balls and asshole, and then when she asks or begs me to cum in her mouth or on her face, I just explode. My orgasm is that much better if she's licking, sucking, laughing and enjoying it even when I'm making a mess on her face or in her mouth. I don't think anyone can fake it when that's happening to her - you either like it or you don't. Those orgasms are so intense, I feel so much more obligated to return the favor and make her cum for the next 3 hours!
If your bj is a bit of a clean freak, that may be a clue as to why he doesn't like BJs. Maybe he doesn't like having his cum on himself or on his bed. Maybe try talking dirty to him and tell him to cum in your mouth so you can swallow every single drop. I'm not saying that's his problem, but it may be worth a try. I don't know of any guy who doesn't like BJs (if done right!).
If he likes your handjobs, but not BJs, then give him a handjob but keep your face very close to his cock. While stroking him, give him little kisses and licks all over his cock when he's not expecting it. You can try substituting your lips for your hands around his cock when he least expects it. Over time, you can use more of your mouth instead of your hands until it becomes a full BJ without him being conscious of it.
Good luck!
I'm lucky if I get 30 seconds of oral action from my wife per year. So I'm a very scewed reference point, but yes, I like it and find it hard to believe a guy doesn't.
Don't push if he really doesn't like it, but you might try changing technique.