Lots of guys, my own included, find oral to be their favorite. But that doesn't mean it's the only way. Y'all probably just haven't found the right combo to get him off without it. More experimentation with non-oral maneuvers. And I mean totally non-oral. Don't think you're going to tease him with just a little oral, because that defeats the purpose and lots of times once you've started oral in a session, to move on to other things is less intense. And give him a good talking to about his pushiness.

Tell him sex is for grown ups and if he wants to be a baby to go AWAY. Sorry but if that's the way he want's to be and act then YOU don't need him, find someone who understands and respects your NON desire for oral sex. What can you do for him to replace this, ask him?

He might think he cannot orgasm without it but he can. Problem is that he's being pushy and you're not a doormat. Yes, giving oral can be a signal of dominance but have you ever considered tying him down and forcing him to orgasm 4 times in a row only through oral sex? Feeding off the male. "Give it up like a man, baby!" You could give him an adversion to oral, I should imagine, by doing it that way. And if you do it "incorrectly", he may ever want it from you ever again. But that's just me being evil.

You really need to find a better lover or three, dear.

[QUOTE=tapephone;220558]My boyfriend of six months is driving me nuts. I love him to death but I just can't take it anymore.
He whines, he pouts, he can't get off without head and the most I'll do is foreplay status.

[COLOR="Navy">Well, he can climax without it as evidenced by the fact that he masturbates by hand. What he is really saying is that he much prefers the stronger sensations and increased pleasure that this form of play provides.[/COLOR]

I hate giving head, getting it is o.k. too but I preffer good old fashion makin' love. **

[COLOR="navy">What if your b/f said this from his perspective?[/COLOR]

I don't know the pinpoint reason but I think it's a little degrading and should mostly be kept for one-night-stands and porn.

[COLOR="navy">You have every right to believe as you do, although, your position on the matter is in the minority. There is no part of the human anatomy that should be considered degrading or "dirty". Your boyfriend's penis is as near and dear to him as your clitoris and associated parts are to you. (What if he infatically stated that he does not like fingering and licking, and sucking your nipples or fondling your breasts?) Just as you enjoy receiving oral stimulation, so too does he. Why do you consider it OK for you to enjoy this activity yet degrading for you to reciprocate. Where is the logic?[/COLOR]

I've told him before that I don't like giving it, I told him when we first started dating that I never give head. Ever. But I've given him some for a few minutes at a time and that's big for me.

[COLOR="navy">Sounds to me like you may be struggling with the morality of the activity. You can put your toes in the water but can't take the plunge for whatever reason. What is the reason?[/COLOR]

The things is, he's always had girlfriends who are eager to please and that's usually how he gets off. Sometimes if I don't do it, he'll pout and be a brat and we end up not even having sex.

What do I do?

[COLOR="navy">The two of you need to talk to each other.[/COLOR]

How can I tell him that enough is enough and he's got to accept it without being a bitch or making things tense between us. We've never fought. Not once.
OR - What can I do for (to) him that will make him forget all about head?

Thx in advance.[/QUOTE]

I doubt there is any other technique, method, or activity that will substitute for oral stimulation.

If you do not like stimulating him this way, tell him. Women set the boundaries; however, having said this, you do owe it to the two of you to find out why you can do it just a little although not a lot. You can't have it both ways and this is what is driving him crazy. In the old days this used to be referred to as "Cock Teasing" where a girl would stimulate her boyfriend a little, or, right up to the point of climax and then STOP! everything. You've got to realize that the penis, like the clitoris, is jam packed with sensitive nerve endings and that by stimulating him orally just a little then stopping is frustrating, exasperating, and ultimately--maddening. This goes beyond good natured teasing which normally has a follow through and conclusion.

If the two of you are clean, having recently bathed, then there is no part of the body that cannot be explored, loved, and brought into play in order to demonstrate total acceptance of who each of you is, and to bring each other as much pleasure and enjoyment as possible. That you are OK with receiving this pleasure yet not to reciprocate is contradictory. My guess is that you believe his penis is somehow tainted because it doubles as a passage for the elimination of waste and is therefore somehow "dirty". If you do not want this part of him in your mouth, please consider where his tongue is and what it is likely touching when his lips and tongue are nuzzling your clitoris, labia, vaginal opening, and, oh yes--the urethra. If so, then consider that the urine of a healthy person is actually "clean", sanitary, and, drinkable should you find yourself abandoned on a desert island! There is no urine outside the penis if he recently bathed. On the other hand, if you believe that this activity is exclusively a "Gay" act, then you are very naive. Either way, I urge you to expand your knowledge and read the articles listed in the Index concerning these and other loving activities.

His whining is immature, however, if the two of you sit and talk over your likes, dislikes, desires, morals, and other topics, I think he will begin acting more maturely.

**You may never change your mind about stimulating him or anybody else orally, yet before you completely commit to this decision, you owe it to yourself to be as educated as possible about all this, first. Not to is self defeating and telling the world that you know enough and do not need to learn anything more or anything new. If anything, you need to know why it is OK for the goose (you) and not the gander (him) as the saying goes. How is it possible for you to perhaps rub noses, lick or suck on his lips, tongue, fingers, toes, stomach, neck, ears, and not his penis or scrotum? Skin is skin.

If you are concerned about or conflicted about swallowing then you have a legitimate argument. While most couples engage in oral sex, my guess is that far fewer women swallow the ejaculate. Those who do do so as a demonstration of total acceptance of their man. Semen in a healthy man is both sanitary and nutritional. It contains sugars, protein, and a couple of calories. You do not have to swallow as a result of giving exceptional "head". While he may want you to, he can learn to accept this boundary. If you eventually want to learn how to swallow, then there is an article listed in the Index that provides how-to information. You can also do some site searches on this and other topics. Here is a link to the site's Home Page:

http://www.sexinfo101.com/oralsex.shtml

I believe she did say something about "demeaning" - which lends an entirely different 'color' to the sex act.

Well its obvious that you both need some help. Its not normal for a woman to feel its demeaning by giving oral sex to her partner. Two people in love should want to please each other.

For men, sometimes its difficult to have an orgasm depending on your females vagina and how it feels. If hes not large and the womans vagina is then a man may not get the feeling he needs.

It don't sound like that is the case here. I think he has just become use to getting off that way and now its become a mental thing for him. So if he does have vaginal sex often enough then it will come back and he should be able to have an orgasm vaginally.

But again, everyone does have limits as to what they will or won't do and they do need to be respected. But its not normal to feel the thoughts you express by giving oral sex to your partner.

Not to disagree that there's a definite desire discrepancy here, but I think 'normal' is a relative term. Yes, I've said that half-jokingly before, but it really is true. Granted, one 'should' care about pleasing the other person, but I"m not going to tell ANYONE they 'should' be okay with giving oral, or any other specific maneuver for that matter. Comfort zones are very individualistic.

I think you both should really sit back and consider this issue seriously. I mean the different kinds of sex people have is up to the 2 people involved. If the guy really wants oral and the woman totally does not want to give it then they really need to think about it. Neither should be expected to just give in. Sex is a part of a relationship, and if one or neither person involved is not happy with the sex life, how much farther can the relationship really go?

I think you're right TnL, but I think that's rooted in more than just sex. It's about consideration for the other person vs only thinking about what you yourself want.

Your right int. But as much as I hate to say it, cuz it is something people don't want to believe, sex is more major than they like to say. And if they are that incompatible in bed, I just can't see it working.

Right. All I'm getting at is, sexual compatibility is about more than simply sex. It's about consideration for the other person's desires and good enough emotional connection between the parties.

Your right again int. I think that much incompatibility in bed could spell doom. As much as I hate to say it.

There comes a time when you just have to let the relationship go.
Sexual incompatibility is a legitimate reason. Can you imagine these two having a good marriage for the next 30 to 40 years like this?

No.

So it is time to call it all off and find someone who more closely meets your needs and you his.

I have heard there are men who have no interest at all in fellatio. She should look for one of them.

[QUOTE=dlb;220740]I have heard there are men who have no interest at all in fellatio. She should look for one of them.[/QUOTE]

There aren't...

[QUOTE=cjb1981;220780]There aren't...[/QUOTE]

there are. i dated one awhile back. and my current bf praises my skill, so before you hint at that to explain why my ex preferred a hand job.

Of course there are men who aren't into fellatio, or whatever - people come in all kinds!

Sexual compatibility is fundamental to a relationship and no matter how much you try to get around the issue you really can't compromise it. Either everything else is so great that you can live with it, but I kind of doubt it. My ex and I disagreed on a couple of fundamental things with having fun having sex being one of them. In the end that and a couple of other "fundamental things" broke up our marriage after 15 years.

You cant compromise who you are in either case and if you don't enjoy it and its important to him you're going to have trouble as a couple

You say you hate giving head. Turn him loose and let him go find someone that likes giving it.

People are always shocked when I say the words "I wont date a women who doesnt like giving oral"

If oral sex was that important then date someone who likes giving it.

and vice versa if you hate giving head, there are plenty of men who do not care about getting a bj at all and would rather skip to the fucking.

Its not about judging or arguing about whats right and wrong. Find a partner that fits your sexual needs and taste.

That being said, this advice is not as practical and applicable to your situation... since your in a relationship and maybe you consider this something not worth breaking up over... then you need to find a compromise, or find creativity.

Currently the idea of you "finishing" him with your mouth sounds demeaning, maybe there is another way you can give him the same affect and feel sexy about it.

Like put your face down by his cock while you jerk him, and try talking dirty while staring at his cock as if your going to suck... it may seem like a tease but the sheer gesture may be his trigger.

Suck on his finger while he jerks himself off.

and then maybe you could also try actually giving him the act he wants but do it differently so that you possibly may find it suddenly "sexy" instead of demeaning. Maybe if your under the blanket with the lights out, so he doesn't get to watch you only gets to feel you. My Gf likes it when i go from sex to sitting on her chest with my penis right in front of her mouth, its a domination power turn on. Dont want to assume what you have and have not tried....maybe it is as simple as that you absolutely hate head....but you have to be empathetic cause he is obviously matching your hate for giving it with his love for receiving it. So basically an all or nothing ultimatum will fail. Of course vise versa applies he needs to understand that your an equally convicted on the subject and he needs to help as much with finding a compromise.

He will appreciate it and be turned by your effort/creativity.

If you just want to assume his desires and needs are childish and immature, than don't date him. Alot of other couples may think monogamy is childish and immature... the point being its all relative/perspective and judgmental nit picking is not conducive to a happy sex life, in fact it is the death of it.

Not to drag up an ancient thread (well not that ancient), but as I'm reading this, I realize that this guy is being childish and immature. He should have some self respect and find a woman who will respect his needs and indulge him. Whining about it shows a severe lack of self respect on his part.

Or am I missing something?

Firstly, there is lot of difference between love and sex. If you both love each other you should be able to live without sex. What happens if one of the partner gets brutally injured by some thing say accident. Will the partner leave the other just because the partner cannot perform sex after accident. This is really mean.
If you say Love then mean it. Both have to adjust . TO ADJUST WITH YOUR PARTNER IS LOVE. TRY TO PLEASE YOUR PARTNER IS LOVE. ONE MUST NOT THINK OF ONESELF IN LOVE. THAT IS SELFISHNESS. TO MAKE YOUR PARTNER COMFORTABLE IS LOVE.
Here, the boy should understand that tapephone doesnt like oral. And he should avoid it or should just attempt and leave it if not agreed.
But Tapephone should also attempt to do it. There is nothing dirty in it. You can decide some frequency of your choice say once a month or once a week whatever you feel you are comfortable.
But dont breakup for such silly reason. If you really LOVE !!!!
GOT IT.

[QUOTE=tapephone;220585]thanks guys. lots of good ideas. funny ones too. i like the evilness.[/QUOTE]

Why dont you try him share the cum which he has filled in you. Have a french kiss in the end. Good or bad he will share with you. Try ??

Oh Sania - you're such a romantic.

Agreed, WSO, especially since everyone's presuming that SHE has to change for HIM and begin giving him oral - like there isn't anything else they can do???

She does not like to do fellatio - BFD and end of story. Either he leaves her for someone who will or he lives without. Why go on about this?