i have a great bf, and at the beginning we would have great sex, but then eventually it became harder and harder for him to come. i would do everything, anything, looking up new stuff and lingerie, toys, whispering, massages - truly getting inventive. nothing worked.i thought he wasnt atrracted to me anymore, but he says he still is and still wants to have sex, but it usually ends up with him finishing the job himself after a long and exhaustive time in a number of positions. ah help please!
Wed, 05/02/2007 - 12:00
#1
he can't come.....
He's having issues which have nothing to do with you. Usually, this one is 'fear of intimacy' the idea that if he has an orgasm, he'll lose control and give that power to whoever he has that orgasm with.
Don't worry. It could be a lot of things. Stress in school or work to a bunch of other things. I know that when I was with my girlfriend from Ecuador sometimes it would take me a long time to "come" or I would never come. I had some depression problems being so far from home and only making 450 dollars a month as a "volunteer" teacher. It was difficult. Look at what he is dealing with, outside of his intimate life with you.
Do you cum? :confused:
It's NOT because he's not attracted to you.
My boyfriend had the same problem. To him it was all because he was to afraid that he didn't please me. And later it just got worse, because we focused on it all the time.
The solution was that we concentrated on ME instead. We pretended like he didn't matter and slowly it became better.
Given time, it'll go away. Be patient.