So I'm off to see a female friend and spend a couple of nights with her. now we have tried or thought of having our first times together a number of times but it never happens.
last time she was sore (but her period that usually causes this was over a week before) perhaps that "heating effect" lube might be at fault ? I'm think getting some KY jelly myself is that the most "neutral" lube there is ?
another thing is relaxing her, now I thought obviously foreplay and perhaps an orgasm she had this idea last time herself but it didn't quite work out (the orgasm). Now she seems to have two kinds: if she masturbates herself its well a few jolts of her groin and thats it. now twice I have got her to orgasm and she breaths deeply (of course) if no one is around is quite noisy and she really spasms for quite some time (for some reason she can't achieve this by herself and I am still unsure after only 2 times the specific routine she responds too). which is best as we want her to loosen up not feel totaly content and too sensitive for anything else.
another thing I suppose the best way to staert is with fingers and I think a little light might help in seeing what I am doing but she prefers the dark um will have to try and talk to her
any other suggestions ?
[QUOTE=Newtolove;201632]So I'm off to see a female friend and spend a couple of nights with her. now we have tried or thought of having our first times together a number of times but it never happens.
last time she was sore (but her period that usually causes this was over a week before) perhaps that "heating effect" lube might be at fault ? I'm think getting some KY jelly myself is that the most "neutral" lube there is ?
[COLOR="Blue">K-Y works. Brandye has suggested "Surgilube" more than once. You might want to try this, first. I don't know if "Astroglide" is available over there, and I can recommend it, also. Often, ya just gotta try several and see what works for you. When they begin to dry, you can either add more or revitalize what you have on your fingers with some saliva.[/COLOR]
another thing is relaxing her, now I thought obviously foreplay and perhaps an orgasm she had this idea last time herself but it didn't quite work out (the orgasm).
[COLOR="Blue">
As for relaxing her, spend 45 min. or so just fooling around and making out before you even consider foreplay. She needs most of this time to get all reved up and all the kissing, caressing, and cuddling should relax her--until you work on the erogenous zones that is.[/COLOR]
[COLOR="Blue">Look in the Index and read all the articles on making out, including EEK's two articles.[/COLOR]
Now she seems to have two kinds: if she masturbates herself its well a few jolts of her groin and thats it. now twice I have got her to orgasm and she breaths deeply (of course) if no one is around is quite noisy and she really spasms for quite some time (for some reason she can't achieve this by herself and I am still unsure after only 2 times the specific routine she responds too). which is best as we want her to loosen up not feel totaly content and too sensitive for anything else.
[COLOR="Blue">Well, Simon, you've been her for a long time. I'm surprised that you haven't read more than one post that recommends that both of you take each other's hand and move it in the way that works for you. Do this until each of you learns the other's technique for motion, rhythm, and pressure. Then, give each other feedback on how you are responding to each others caresses. These work.[/COLOR]
another thing I suppose the best way to staert is with fingers and I think a little light might help in seeing what I am doing but she prefers the dark um will have to try and talk to her
[COLOR="Blue">Start where with the fingers and at what stage? Are you talking foreplay and specifically her genitals, or, starting from the top, literally, with a healthy make out session? [/COLOR]
any other suggestions?
[COLOR="Blue">One suggestion is to make love during the day when there is light and do a bit of role playing, like being a doctor. You can then give her a physical exam and spend all the time you need figuring out what's where and how to get there in the dark. Even if you don't make love in the daytime, you can certainly do everything else.
Have you studied any of the illustrations on the net that several of us have recommended from time to time. You can Google search and come up with three or four good pictures and illustrations. I recommend that you trace along one of the inner labia with thumb and finger until you get to the junction of the two. The clitoris is just below or inside the point where the two meet. You can also trace a finger down the midline of the upper vulva and locate it that way. [/COLOR] [/QUOTE]
Do some reading, do some searching, do some investigating, and go for it!
NewtoLove - please see my posts, both stickies, one entitled The Program and the other entitled, Body Worship. Both will set you two on the path to having great sex.
ok thanks guys its just that we've known one another nearly 2 years (but not seen alot of one another) and things just never seem to work but prehaps as doc say 45 mins without touching her genitals normally she put my hand straight on her breats and then we are off to the vagina I only follow what she wants.
as for her showing me yes she does or tells me where to go its just that she never has those shattering orgasms herself I think she hardly knows how to do it and I've only managed twice, I think perhaps she tries to hard as well.
inserting fingers I'm talking after foreplay and gettig to genitals she a virgin so needs to get used to it a bit at a time.
say EEK where are these stikys you guys a refering to I've not been around a while.... think we need a forum just for stikies and articles
Simon, it's all in the Index-- top of the screen.