I've always been a big believer in 'what happens in the bedroom (or where-ever) stays in the bedroom. I value my privacy but I've always hated the idea of men blabbing to their mates about what I do during sex. Especially when you're in an enviroment where everybody knows everybody else.
I'm sure nobody has a SO who blabs about their sex life, but in the past I've had two bf's that have broken the rule. Once when I discovered a bf had shown his mates a pair of my knickers that he had and with another bf who used discuss my performance in bed. I was absolutly raging both times, all though they're not as serious as what happened to some of my mates.
So have you always managed to keep your sex life private? or maybe it doesn't bother you?. Either way I'm curious
With the one exception I noted below, I agree with Bandye!
I would love my sex life with my boyfriend to be private also I certainly don't want everything talked about I just wouldn't feel right about other people talking about our sex life.
So yeah I would rather it were private.
So far my boyfriend hasn't spread anything on us planning to do it.
The ex-boy, after becoming an ex, shared details with his friends. What's funny is that I can guarantee that he made all of them up, since due to gynecological issues on my part, we didn't have sex. So rather than being terribly upset, I think it's terribly amusing.
I'm guilty of this :(....but one of them was by pure mistake (trying to help my friend with first time problems because they were embarassed and stuff and I said oh its happened to me....total accident) The other was the parents
I always try to, but it's very easy, as Ducy pointed out, to slip up when friends who's girls don't care and are even there at the time have questions about their own sex life. It's very difficult to answer something without accidentally divulging info that ppl in small groups can make assumptions from. Saying things for the sake of bragging though, hell no. It's so obvious and lame when people are lying or exaggerating in bed. Besides, you know it's the quiet ones sitting back not saying a thing with a perfectly comfortable look on their face who are really getting it on.
I only had one man, not a bf, who make such a comment (heard through another male friend of mine). Why did he do it? He wanted to date me & a "friend" (who I knew well) of his moved back & knew there was an interest between us for years. He thought by making a statement of "banging me" would ruin any chances. I will say though it did not make any difference & the best part was the guy tried to get me tanked up with alcohol so I would sleep with him & I still turned him down...I married the "friend" he tried to keep me from!
Otherwise, discussions of sex was not a subject either myself or a partner ever discussed with another--I felt it was inappropriate as did they. Seemed pretty immature & disrespectful of ones privacy. I have no need to know & to tell nor does any other man in my life. The only discussions of my sex life is here on the board...never spoke with female friends either about it.
And my male friend who told me? Wound up decking him for his language after his second attempt to make such comment...
It depends.
In the swing world - you pick and choose what you say and are careful to whom you say it but some chitchat re: sex - is expected to give potential partners advance warning. With my rep - it would be 'fair warning'!
Outside of that. NO! Never 'kiss & tell'.
i dont mind....i like it when he talks about our sex life to other people...he just never does it -_-
I think it all depends on why he does it and who hears it.
For instance, I was one of the first in my "group" back in high school to lose my virginity. I did not brag or anything, but when one of my friends needed help or advice about sex, I would help them out (I didn't know about this forum at the time, so I couldn't exactly refer their questions;).) I think that that kind of "kiss and telling" is acceptable. Friends help friends out.
On the other hand, I would never have bragged in the locker room like some guys did. That, I believe, is betraying your partner's trust.
Every girlfriend I've ever had has told me that they talk about what we do in the bedroom to their friends and co-workers. Most of them have admitted to talking about the size of my penis, the length of time that we kiss, have foreplay, and sex. Most have also admitted to talking about sexual positions to their friends. I've always done the same, it's never been an issue with any girl, nor has any girl ever said that it's not happened on their part. While there are certain things that I would never talk about or show, it's pretty common.
If a man (or woman) did not expect m,y privacy, he (or she) would share no more of it. I hope that childish stuff stops somewhere in the early twenties.
Don't worry, not all of us guys blab. I prefer to keep details to myself, even when I post info on here, it's with no names and not in a way that's bragging or insulting. We good guys suffer from all the jerks out there, :(.....
I don't discuss anything w/ anyone...lol granted I don't have many "girl friends" and the ones I have... we aren't the Sex in the City type of friends :)
What's the stronger issue here; the guy bragging about his conquest, or him complaining about his girl's shortcomings?
I talk to my close guy friends about my sex life, though not in grand detail. It isn't bragging or complaining, either. It's just talking.
My girl friend talks to her close female friends about our sex life, again, not in horrific detail, but it's mentioned.
I don't mind, neither does she. It depends on what you're comfortable with, and how comfortable you are with your sex life.
We have a great sex life - young people talk about sex. No problem.
You can have an absolute position on these types of things, or you're a hypocrite. I think it changes when you get older, but, I mean, we're all here to talk about our sex lives, so there you go.
Hypocrite? I do not discuss any sex issues with anyone...just here. Fully anonymous and unidentifiable. In person? Nope.
Yes sera you are quite a hypocrite!!!!
And I have four penises!
Really, Ducy? Amazing!
I know isnt it great!?!?! I mean It makes threesomes and moresomes a hell of a lot easier :p
It surely isn't kiss and tell unless you actually mention someone else's name or the person you are talking to knows exactly which ex you are referring to?
Talking about sex with close friends and your new partner helps. Your sexual background is part of who you are and helps your new relationship grow when they know more about you (not every single intimate detail...) and helping out a friend based on your experience needn't be you spilling the beans on anyone you have been with.
Glad I am not the only one that gets off topic.:rolleyes: Does this relate back to the discreet topic? SHHHHHHHHHH. A touch of respect goes
along way.