Okay.
Im gonna try to make it short.
I have had a lot of sex, except in the last year. I was with one guy... uncircumsized. Way different technique.
Well now Im with this new guy... he hates head. And I forgot how to give a handjob... Well I know but my hand wont move without lube..
obvious solution right? Use lube.
He hates any type of lotion. Its like his pet peeve. I dont even want to try to use it because he might get mad or say no, and itw ill totally kill the moment.
What should I do?!
I could use spit... but Im not gonna honk a big loogie on my hand or on his dick. And since he wont let me suck it, theres not other way to get it on there.
And spit sucks anyway.
HELP! ASAP.
He doesn't like head? How strange.
Take a firm grip and move up and down, let the skin go up over the head.
Ask him to masturbate in front of you.
You've got a strange case, it seems.
no no no my ex boyfriend was uncircumsized. so that is what Im used to.
the new boy IS circumsized and I dont remember how I used to give handjobs without lubrication.
Just put your hand around his shaft, firmly hold it and slide the skin up and down. There is still some movement in the skin. Or just use a very light touch and rub up and down the shaft lightly.
a guy who hates getting head? wow.
just try sliding your hand up and down the shaft. if hes against lube, try not to put too much friction on the skin so it doesnt chafe (tho that is his fault).
honestly, ive never heard of a guy who hates head and lotion so im not sure what to say...
A guy who is against head and lube? That's really strange! Do you know him well because a guy who doesn;t enjoy those things sounds like he's got some serious issues.
just dont grasp it so hard... I give dry handjobs to one just like that everynight... and i know the recever likes it;)
P.S. I'm sure it didnt go over you head, but im the "recever" too:rolleyes:
[quote=med4ladies;183310]A guy who is against head and lube? That's really strange! Do you know him well because a guy who doesn;t enjoy those things sounds like he's got some serious issues.[/quote]
There are few, I also found one once in my life! I was shocked as heck.:eek:
Hmm that's insane. I didn't think there was a such thing. I don't understand why a guy wouldn't enjoy those things. I think it's amazing, it just feels good and is a way for my gf and i to have some passion without going directly into sex.
[quote=med4ladies;183373]Hmm that's insane. I didn't think there was a such thing. I don't understand why a guy wouldn't enjoy those things. I think it's amazing, it just feels good and is a way for my gf and i to have some passion without going directly into sex.[/quote]
Trust me I was clueless on it too, it did not begin that way, it developed as we got to know each other better (no, I did not get him w/teeth nor was I "bad" at it, lol). Overall, as the relationship developed he did not like oral nor would he do it. I think he just had some hang up he did not want to address. He later said it was something to be done on "special occasions only" (WTF?) then needless to say there were no "special occasions"! I wonder how he is finding life out there with his newest "chicks" LOL!
Completely enclosing your hand around his shaft will cause a lot of friction and abrasions (as you already know). As an alternative, try just making a ring shape using your thumb and index finger (or any other finger) and slide the ring up and down. That will still feel good and friction will be minimized allowing it to work on an circumcised penis. If you still want to use your entire hand, try putting a cloth around the penis and then grasp that. The material needs to be soft (try even fake fur or some such) to avoid causing abrasion. The sensation of the material can even be more intense than just the skin alone. You can even cover the penis with Kleenex for easier clean up (more than one layer may be necessary).
As was suggested by Ephemera, you should see how he masturbates so you can use his technique. As for the lotion pet peeve, what about taking a shower together and give him a handjob using soap? I imagine he uses soap to wash his privates (hopefully), could that be a workaround?
Just GRIP IT and RIP IT !!....LOL...OOPS I think that is a golf club commercial...wrong forum!! :)
Im sure they're having just as much fun as you guys did when you were together. I don't know what I'd do in life without oral for me or my gf.
I just really dont know what to do. especially if my hand is sweaty or clamey... which they usually are. so then my hand doesnt move. and if it does it jolts.
i havent got any good advice yet guys. should i ask him if its okay to use lube? or not (because i know he hates lotion in general, every kind)
[QUOTE=Knight;183411]Completely enclosing your hand around his shaft will cause a lot of friction and abrasions (as you already know). As an alternative, try just making a ring shape using your thumb and index finger (or any other finger) and slide the ring up and down. That will still feel good and friction will be minimized allowing it to work on an circumcised penis. If you still want to use your entire hand, try putting a cloth around the penis and then grasp that. The material needs to be soft (try even fake fur or some such) to avoid causing abrasion. The sensation of the material can even be more intense than just the skin alone. You can even cover the penis with Kleenex for easier clean up (more than one layer may be necessary).
As was suggested by Ephemera, you should see how he masturbates so you can use his technique. As for the lotion pet peeve, what about taking a shower together and give him a handjob using soap? I imagine he uses soap to wash his privates (hopefully), could that be a workaround?[/QUOTE]
ahhh there is some advice i can use. i dont think i would use the cloth.. i like the shower idea.. but were barely dating, so I dont know when were gonna end up in the shower together, but i like that one.
i just dont like how my hands feel like rubber and wont slide. i guess i barely have to grasp it.
[quote=bailey0258;183498]I just really dont know what to do. especially if my hand is sweaty or clamey... which they usually are. so then my hand doesnt move. and if it does it jolts.
i havent got any good advice yet guys. should i ask him if its okay to use lube? or not (because i know he hates lotion in general, every kind)[/quote]
Bailey: I hate to tell you these really are the only techniques without lube, so yes you did get good advice. Read the threads again, there are no other hidden secrets, promise.
May I suggest something that works for me? I also like dry handjobs (but I won't turn down a wet one, either, ha!) You mentioned your hands are sweaty...dry them with a towel before you get into bed. What the heck, keep a towel next to the bed (for cleanup) and use that to dry them off before touching him. It may help to turn on the A/C, that will take the humidity down and make things less moist/less sweaty, etc.
You may also want to put some baby powder on your hands before beginning or as you begin. If he balks, just calmly tell him to let you try it and see what happens. Part of being in bed together is learning to be open to new experiences. And if it's really humid/sweaty, the powder may help. Plus this guy is kind of high-maintenance what with the no-lube requirement, so he doesn't have much room to complain. ;)
As others here have said, read up on various threads on your topic and you'll find a lot of helpful info. If you search for posts by DancingDoc2, that guy (and many others) also has a lot of great advice to share. Here is what works for this cat:
BE INTO HIM!
Let me preface this by saying it is very important for him to KNOW that you want to touch him, to give him pleasure, that you are totally into it. I've had handjobs from girls who seem like they are out to lunch, and I've had them from girls who are at rapt attention. The latter is always preferable! Also, don't be afraid to talk dirty (if he likes that)...tell him he's got a great cock, that you'd like to see him squirt come all over the place, etc. Whatever turns him on. Best to ask him what he likes to hear (if anything).
Also, don't be afraid to ask him to demonstrate what he likes so that you can LEARN what he likes. Why reinvent the wheel when it already exists? Make it easy and erotic for him by suggesting that you each masturbate together, in front of each other, at the same time. That way, he can learn what YOU like, too! This is a big turn-on and can break a LOT of ice between the two of you. Some people are self-concious, though...and it may take some time for trust to be built up enough for this to happen.
OTOH, you may just want to try touching yourself in front of him with no warning...then watching his reaction...if that reaction is positive (and it should be, or he likely has some issues), tell him you're showing him what you like, and that he needs to whip it out and show you what HE likes!
MY FAVORITE ORGASM/S
When I was a teen, I always jacked off with very fast hand movements b/c that's basically what you see in porn. Now I only do that when I'm in a hurry or in that "fast" mood...I have found that slow and steady is a LOT more erotic and enjoyable, fwiw...at least to start with!
What I LOVE is when my gal (or me) rubs the top of my cock with the palm of her hand while gripping the shaft with the other hand. The shaft grip keeps everything mostly stationary so the palm can work its magic. (You can vary by moving the shaft slightly side-to-side when things heat up!) Start with your palm slowly and move in the same general direction...clockwise, etc. You'll probably need to be sitting up for this one. Try to keep the same section of the top of his penis touching the middle of your palm. And keep the rhythm STEADY! As things heat up, you can speed up the rhythm and/or slow it down.
You can also slightly "grip" the head by bending your hand just a bit around his cock so your palm is more of a "pocket" ...let his face, moans and hips be your guide!
My all-time, most instense fave is just using one hand to place the topside of my member between thumb and forefinger...so you're making about half or 2/3 of a ring, not a whole ring around the cock. You can either be laying or sitting next to him while he's on his back...the penis rests on that skin area that's midway between your thumb and index finger. Then you just gently move that up and down so it moves over the top surface of the penis and just barely touches the sides of his cock. In fact, you can kind of alternate the pressure by moving your thumb closer to your finger so more of his cock is somewhat "enclosed" at certain times and vice-versa...this will gently stimulate the sides of his cock which will in turn pull on the frenulum (that area beneath his cock where the head meets the shaft) which is a very sensitive area.
If you rub gently, STEADILY, and do it for 5 or 10 minutes (depending on how aroused he is), kissing him, talking to him, etc....you can give him a mind-blowing orgasm/s. In fact, I can go on for 20, 30, 40 minutes doing this/having it done to me. It is a really warm, tingly feeling...even my toes tingle...I can get into a "zone" where I don't ejaculate, but the orgasms just keep coming...wave after wave. I am in total ecstacy. This is probably the closest thing to a male multiple orgasm that there is if not actually the real thing. I consider it...amazing.
It takes some practice and patience to find the right spot...and sometimes you have to alternate between the palm and 1/2 ring thing...and even standard gentle pulling...but wow what a mind-blowing orgasm this is!
Whatever you do, don't be afraid to ask him, "How's that? Does this feel good? Do you like this?" or whatever. Feedback is SO important for enjoyable sex.
The other part of the equation is, make sure there is a connection between the two of you and that you are ready to explore your sexuality together. It's okay to be friends first, to build that relationship up. In fact, I've found my best relationships start out as friendships instead of sex partners. Good for you for seeking advice, and good luck!
It still puzzles me how someone can be confused about how to work a penis...
you can flick it, slap it, punch it... it'll only get harder!
Now vaginas, on the other hand, are complicated.
[QUOTE=Ephemera;183856]It still puzzles me how someone can be confused about how to work a penis...
you can flick it, slap it, punch it... it'll only get harder!
Now vaginas, on the other hand, are complicated.[/QUOTE]
Yeah whats up with this? No idea what to do with it? Get real.
yea umm dont grip too hard... me and my girl were drunk and she went to give me a handjob and she kind of gripped it too tight and i felt it start to burn so i had her spit on her hand but within like 2 strokes it was dry and hurt like a mother... now ihave a nice scab on my penis (thankfully they heal faster than anything else) but now i have her use lotion and its all better... but i might have her try the baby powder ;) it sounds like a good idea and your man prolly wouldnt mind it
a bit new...I think you'll find lotion or ky / astroglide better than baby powder. I've never tried the baby powder, it was just a thought for that dude who doesn't like lube...but who knows it might be great. Report back on your experience if you don't mind!