Ok so I am kind anew to sex. I'm not reallt sure what to think about this so I need some help! Last night when me and my guy had sex for the first time it didnt really go very well. It started out great he did oral/used a vibartor on me (which was the first time I've ever used one) and got me off once and when we were going at it for a few minuts he went half mast. After several attempts of trying to get it back and half way succeeding but it never would stay hard. We just gave up for a while. Wel then a couple of hours later he poped another and we start going at it again and he lasted a lil longer then the first time but lost it again. Which is more frustrating for him then it is me but it is still frustrating for the both of us.
I told him that it didnt both me and asked him if something was wronge or if it was me or what. He said it wasnt me he didnt know what was wronge. HE thought it might have been the stress he's been under with work and school and having clincals. I dont think its me but at hte same time u jsut wonder. Now he's not a virgin by any means. He's only my second partner but I would make umm (cough)28 for him. He's 30 yrs old and hasnt had a partner or any sexual activity in 10 months. does that have something to do with it?
Please help. He's been able to give me my pleasure I'd like to return the amazing favor!
If this is what I think it is the problem is known as "Performance Anxiety". When we guys worry about this, that, and the other, when making love for the first few times, and until confidence is acquired, this is often what happens to us. The fix is for him to stop worrying because if he does not, then he becomes his own worst enemy. I suggest just doing what you are doing and also devoting lots of time to the making out part of the process--you know, kissing and caressing, the activites that build one's ardor and excitement. This will go away in time and with experience. Just do not make a big deal of it or you will make matters worse.
Now, having said this, of course erections will wax and wain for various reasons. If and when one begins to fade, think of all the fun you can have rebuilding it!
I agree with the good doc!
The best thing to do is just put yourselves in the mindset that it may happen again and again, and just decide that you're going to do whatever else you feel like doing short of penetrative sex until it gets to the point where he will remain erect. Worrying about it will only exacerbate it and cause it to keep happening.
When it happens to him, just act as if you dont care. It happens to me too with a new partner. Just make him feel comfortable.