Hey, first off I'd like to say that I realize this is my first post on these forums (though I've been surfing them for awhile) and that it's generally something of a no-no to create a thread with your first post...sorry!
Anyway, I've been with my current girlfriend for almost 7 months (we've been best friends for about 4 years) and we are both 16. She's my first "real" girlfriend and I'd never had any decent sexual experience other than quite a bit masturbation - like a normal teenage guy. Well I guess I took to it pretty well because in relatively little time I could make her orgasm quickly and hard. The hardest thing was just getting her to relax...after that it was easy. Me, on the other hand... I can generally bring myself to orgasm within about 15 minutes. Her hand jobs take awhile longer and it was a long time before she got me to come the first time (which wasnt the first time she'd given me a handjob). Oral sex is worse... I seem to do pretty well on her but sometimes when she does it, I can barely feel it. I've never had an orgasm that way... she doesn't really have a good feel for it and how to gauge responses and such, but I think a lot of the problem is with me... I seem to not be very sensitive at all.
We recently started having sex, and maybe its the condom, but my experience was a quite a bit different than the guys I'd heard about with 10-second-shots their first time. It feels good, but not especially amazing (physically at least). Shes a pretty small person, so its kind of hard on her and we can't do it for too long before it starts to hurt her - longest was about 30 minutes and I felt closer to coming than when we started but not especially close. But then again, we're both new at this and she hasn't had an orgasm either. I just want her to know that she can please me, because I know from my experiences w/ her that it's a very satisfying feeling and I also know that she is unhappy with her "performance."
So really, what I'm asking is has anybody here ever had similar experiences and what did you do about it? And, I didn't masturbate THAT much and I can still come by myself pretty quickly so I'm pretty sure this isn't very plausible, but could I have desensitized (sorry my spelling is probably way off) myself? I know my post was very long (although, hopefully read-able) so if you skipped to the end, I seem to be rather insenitive esp when receiving oral sex. Thanks for reading and for any help!
Teach each other how you masturbate. If she will do it in front of you, and you in front of her then each of you will get a vision of what to do. Next, take each other's hand and guide it over a few sessions until each of you can mimic each other's technique of rhythm and pressure. This takes practice and if you think about it, you probably masturbate pretty much the same way all the time, and if you do vary it, not by much, for if you do chances are you will either not have an orgasm or it will be less than desired. So, that said, you cannot expect her to just magically and intuitively get it right, nor you with her.
As for oral stimulation, feedback, as with the above, also, is very important. So give each other cues as to how you are responding to each other's caresses, and, for what you may need--now.
There are a lot of threads detailing how best to perform oral. You can do an advanced search using my name and the key words: tip, lips, squirt, tongue, all should take you to several posts on the matter. There are also sticky threads on the forums and on the Board's main page.