> whenever i have sex i always kinda strive for a little pain like i make my bf spank me HARD to the point where i have 4 red hand prints on my butt and he nibbles my ears alot, he also likes when i give him bjs and i bite a little hard

Once in a while--fine, that you "always kinda strive for a little pain" is a bit over the top for most people. Why you, or is this just a phase? "Bite a little hard" where?? Does he want his balls squeezed or punched, too?

> so anyways how can we ease into maybe something a little kinky?

And you think these activities aren't kinky? If not, I suppose the answer is that you keep on keeping on and just up the ante'. I just wrote a piece on this yesterday or the day before. Please keep in mind that the two of you are flirting with danger if you continue to follow through with the actual practices. Better me thinks and those of some sexperts that you give the illusion of spanking hard or biting and stopping short of drawing blood, leaving red marks, or otherwise causing harm. It is just too easy to get carried away.

Spanking can leave a little sting yet should not be a forceful impact. As noted in the previous post on this, it is all in the wind-up. Think of what the two of you doing as an act in a movie. What you eventually see occuring on the screen is not necessarily what happened during filming.

> also he always says he'd like to "rape" me and i always talk about how i'd like to be "raped"

You better have every trust and confidence in him and your relationship before playing this game. Once again it is all in how the scene is staged. In a recent thread several women talked about how they enjoy being pushed back against a wall with their hands held up in the air while their man has his way with them. Well, OK, as long as it is the illusion of force and not the result of it. The same goes for rape. He can approach you, you can resist, he can become more forceful, you can keep your legs together and make him "fight" to pry them apart, and so on, yet throughout all this these things are done in the spirit of love and fun. You won't actually be taken advantage of, nor will you in fact be raped. It's all an act.

To insure and ensure that these activities remain playful and harmful, you need to have an exit strategy. Come up with a word or phrase that is not used in normal conversation that when uttered is an automatic and immediate STOP command. When one of you says this word, everything stops, no questions asked. Do not use words or phrases like: "Stop", "don't do that", "you're hurting me", etc.

> and we tried tieing me down but it didn't really work

How was this accomplished?
It is my recommendation that the person being tied up or tied to the headboard and/or footboard of a bed have at least one hand tied so that s/he can get loose if they feel the need.

Tickling should be considered torture. A little goes a long way so do not ever overdo this. If you like this activity then do it just a little and then "torture" the other person with hints or gestures that more is to come, that in actuality really won't.

> what'd be a fun kinky way to do that?

It all depends.... Does the bed have a tall headboard? If no head- or footboard, then there isn't much point to the exercise. If it has columns then you can tie either the hands or the ankles to it. So while there may be a struggle the the actual "fight" is a mock one. The same for the rest of the script.

A variation to the theme that I like is an idea I got from a Clint Eastwood movie in which he was tied to a wooden straight-back chair and the female vixon in the movie gave him a lap dance that he struggled to prevent. If this script appeals to you, then you can work on disrobing him and having your way with him all over his protests.

Have fun.