when we are having great sex she tells me that she is feeling the need to go to the toilet, so i tell her no worry that is an orgazim on the way so just enjoy. she tells me that she can not let go and she does not know what to do.
the thing is when i give her oral sex she reaches a point where she starts shivering uncontrollably, and when we continue intercourse she can not have any thing.
[QUOTE=nobody;259806][COLOR="blue">when we are having great sex she tells me that she is feeling the need to go to the toilet, so i tell her no worry that is an orgazim on the way so just enjoy. she tells me that she can not let go and she does not know what to do.[/COLOR]
What is your girl friend's experience level?
A.) Is she orgasmic having made the transition and now able to masturbate and have orgasms regularly and consistently?
B.) Is she expecting you to make this happen for her?
[COLOR="blue">the thing is when i give her oral sex she reaches a point where she starts shivering uncontrollably, and when we continue intercourse she can not have any thing.[/COLOR][/QUOTE]
Your story is quite common and has been discussed many times, although, not recently.
If (A.) then the most likely hang up is that she is afraid to let herself go, emotionally. Trust, is an issue that she must gain. Another aspect of this is that you do not have the right technique that will cause her to climax. If the latter is true, then please read the article in the Index:
How Do I Get Him/Her to Orgasm From a Hand/Blow Job?
This article will provide information on learning how to mimic her technique.
If (B.) then know that each of us is responsible for our own orgasms. We do not give them away. All any of us can hope to accomplish is to help our partner achieve them.
You are correct, having the urge to pee happens to inexperienced people just before climaxing. If she has gone to the bathroom recently then this is a false signal. She should be encouraged to work thru the urge, finding her orgasm on the other side. Next time, encourage her to go to the bathroom before you "get down to business". Once she has climaxed a few times, the urge to pee will go away.
I hope this is of help. Got questions? I recommend that the two of you begin reading the articles listed in the Index and to discuss each one, adding the information to what each of you already knows.
i was once like your girlfriend nobody everytime i came close to reaching orgasm i felt the urge to urinate even though i'd already emptied my bladder prior to having intercourse.DD2 i suffered from option B in that i relied on my partner to give me an orgasmic experience and i didn't have a clue about masturbation.Being sexually abused as a child only added to my problem in that i felt dirty and ashamed to touch myself in an area i considered unclean also i have recently discovered that i was never fully satisfied by the majority of my sexual partners.Only 2 out of the 5 have left me sated and pleased by the outcome of the event.It is only through reading posts, articles and threads on this site that i have gained the confidece and knowlege to masturbate and reach orgasm blissfully and successfully both on my own and with a partner.As DD2 would say "familiarise your self with the index of topics"and encourage your girlfriend to share it with you
thank you all.
she still refuses to masterbat. but i am still trying.
It is HER problem, not yours. What she chooses to do about it is up to her. You can recommend but not make the decision.
she is my wife so i am stuck with her, but i love her.
Then perhaps instead of thinking you're 'stuck' with her, you will sit down and discuss the issue with her AS AN ADULT, calmly, honestly, and with kindness in the spirit of investigating HER viewpoint. Sex is not just "all about you", nor is it just "all about her". You're in this together.
However until you two talk -you know nothing.
Yes she is your wife nobody and you love her so show her that by being patient and gentle with her.Don't make or force her to do something she is not comfortable doing.Encourage her,kiss,caress cuddle,tease,hold her in your arms.Do all of these things and more.Give her all the attention she wants, tell her you love her constantly,and if she makes little steps praise and reward her with your love.If she wants the same as you,it will happen in it's own timeframe.It did for me
In preparation for you talk, I recommend reading the articles listed in the Index that discuss female orgasms in all of the aspects and ramifications. Better yet, both of you read them and then discuss what you have learned.
> she still refuses to masterbat.
Learn why.
* does she consider the act "dirty"
* degrading
* against religious teachings
* against what she was taught by parents
* other
Had I to guess, I'd say she does not understand why it is necessary to learn to masturbate, whether or not she continues after learning or not. If she is of the opinion that you will give her an orgasm, this will likely not happen. It can, although, it is very rare.
She owes herself to be informed and not to shy away or run from being an informed woman. Sex is not "dirty", and if she believes certain aspects of the activity are, then she has some awareness issues.
If she wants to experience orgasms, then only she can connect the proverbial dots between all the sensitive nerve endings in the skin and the pleasure center of the brain along the autonomic nervous system. Mother Nature plays a dirty trick on us humans by giving us the equipment to enjoy orgasms, but does not connect all the components. This we must learn to do ourselves. For boys, this is pretty much automatic as a result of passing thru puberty. Girls on the other hand learn much later, if at all, and then as a matter of conscious effort.
Once we learn how, then we can teach our partner how to mimic our technique in order to help us achieve our orgasms by their hand.
P.S. If she will not pleasure herself, why should she expect you to provide this enjoyment for her? What is her logic?
she consider it as:
* she considers the act "dirty"
* against religious teachings
* against what she was taught by parents
when we talk about it she tells me that she likes and loves to do it to me and she knows that i really really love to get her up hi but here mentality is it is the man's job to get the woman to reach the orgasm not the woman to do it by her self.
She should come and talk with us or go to her more experienced woman friends and talk to them.
She is seriously incorrect.
thank you all for your help.
how are things with your wife now nobody?
she is understanding but when the time comes she does not know what to do.
orally i can give here and organism with ease, when she is on top she can have an orgasm but when i am on top she loves it and and i can see her moaning and saying that this is amazing i feel like i want to go, i can even feel her PC muscles contracting but still no cigar. but it is a good feeling that when we finish intercourse she sleeps immediately ( like me when i ejaculate ;) )
work and kids can be very tiereding for us but life is always wonderful with her by my side.
that is exactly how i was,i had to learn how to relax and feel comfortable about pleasing myself .It took me many years but i finally got the hang of it.keep supporting and encouraging your wife,but most of all tell her you love her and that you'll always be by her side no matter what happens
> she is understanding but when the time comes she does not know what to do.
[url=http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/new-sex/19803-women-only-help-why-cant-h... Women Only- Help! Why Can't He Make Me Orgasm?
The article, above, was written and responded to by others in order to assist women learn to make the transition into an orgasmic woman. In short, to learn how to masturbate successfully.
Uhmmm, about becoming "orgasmic"; it seems like this woman already is... Which would be the good news :) Maybe I'm not getting it, but from Nobody's post I read that she is having orgasms (on top and through oral stimulation). She does not want to masturbate and does not seem to know how to please her self. She can't orgasm with him on top. So I'm guessing that's the position when she wants to go to the toilet? Is this right, dear Nobody?
In my opinion the bad news is: she does not want to learn how to masturbate, because she feels like she shouldn't do it herself (for all the reasons stated). I think that's the key; you really can't orgasm, whenever you don't want to. So all you can do as her loving husband, is tell her that it is not dirty to touch yourself. Gently persuade her that perhaps it is time that she should (re)evaluate all that she was taught -Mind you: that is really tough on her and takes time!- Most important to tell: that masturbating is about honoring the beautiful gifts of her body. As long as she won't accept this gift, she won't orgasm by masturbating.
And when she's more open to touching herself, in stead of her trying alone, perhaps she'd feel better trying it out together (you helping her)? I wouldn't know if this works for her, but you could offer it as a suggestion. I just know I liked it when I was learning to orgasm; he touched me and I touched myself a little bit more at a time. It was only after that I learned how to do it myself (which was way more difficult than together ;))
[QUOTE=nobody;259866]she consider it as:
* she considers the act "dirty"
* against religious teachings
* against what she was taught by parents
when we talk about it she tells me that she likes and loves to do it to me and she knows that i really really love to get her up hi but here mentality is it is the man's job to get the woman to reach the orgasm not the woman to do it by her self.[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=RedRoses;260010]Uhmmm, about becoming "orgasmic"; it seems like this woman already is... [/QUOTE]
I was going to say the same thing Red. And if her PCs are working when she's on her back, and she's having the peeing issue, would this not be an orgasm verging on FE, and it's the FE she can't let go?
the feeling you have to urinate IS the onset of Female Ejaculation
It is how women are built
nothing dirty about it
Period
end of story
stop debating