Not really sure if this is the right category for this, but oh well. Me and my bf have a pretty serious relationship, and we started having sex about a month ago. We've done it 5 or 6 times, but I've never had an orgasm (he has all but the first 2 times). I don't really have a problem with this, but the last time we had sex he was miserable afterwards because he had never made me have an orgasm. He says he's not good enough for me and that he failed me, even though I've told him several times that I love him for more than what he does to me, that it hurts me to see him so sad, that most girls don't just orgasm from sex, etc. Anyone know anything else I could say to him to give him some confidence and make him feel better, or just positions/foreplay we could try that might increase the chances of me having an orgasm?
Sun, 02/19/2006 - 17:31
#1
Giving him some confidence
I dont know if he already does this, but get him to play with your clit with one hand while you two are having sex.
Most girls dont orgasm so he really shouldnt feel bad.
I think the issue is that he may have "learned" too much from porn, which unfortunately most guys don't realise is not educational material. Many guys erroneously learn that the ability to "make" woman orgasm is a measure of their manhood and male potency. Porn is not realistic, and I really wish it came with warnings that it was not educational material and shouldn't be taken as a realistic portrayal of sex and sexuality.
The reality is that orgasms are not given. You can assist each other in reaching orgasm, but ultimately reaching that goal is a personal responsibility as opposed to someone else's responsibility.
What he needs to learn is that both parties should be focused on giving each other attention and affection, and if each person enjoyed it and was satisfied, then that is enough; That goal has been reached and it proves you're a caring, attentive lover.
Whether or not you reach orgasm is not a measure of his manhood, and the sooner he learns it, the better.
[QUOTE=moose_hd]I think the issue is that he may have "learned" too much from porn, which unfortunately most guys don't realise is not educational material. Many guys erroneously learn that the ability to "make" woman orgasm is a measure of their manhood and male potency. Porn is not realistic, and I really wish it came with warnings that it was not educational material and shouldn't be taken as a realistic portrayal of sex and sexuality.
The reality is that orgasms are not given. You can assist each other in reaching orgasm, but ultimately reaching that goal is a personal responsibility as opposed to someone else's responsibility.
What he needs to learn is that both parties should be focused on giving each other attention and affection, and if each person enjoyed it and was satisfied, then that is enough; That goal has been reached and it proves you're a caring, attentive lover.
Whether or not you reach orgasm is not a measure of his manhood, and the sooner he learns it, the better.[/QUOTE]
Co - sign
love making is not a marathon, and shouldn't be about coming. it should be about enjoying one another!
Good advice from the previous posts. He is focused on the wrong thing.
If he's that obsessed with you having an orgasm everytime, then he needs to go down on you.
Have you had orgasms with other guys?
> the last time we had sex he was miserable afterwards because he had never made me have an orgasm. He says he's not good enough for me and that he failed me
This is an ongoing oft repeated question or concern. Please read the following thread to include replies #3 and #4.
http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/pleasing_her/16506-ive_never_had_orgasm_...
Follow the next link and upon reading the information in the two threads, all will be revealed.