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Girls Kissing Each Other

With not a little trepidation, we venture into a murky, confusing place, a place of cliches and contradictions, decorated with crushed Bud Light cans, lacy red teddies and a sweet, lingering scent left behind by the Swedish Bikini Team. In the name of universal understanding, we enter into the dark realm of heterosexual male fantasy to confront an issue that cannot be ignored any longer:

WHY ARE GUYS so crazy about watching girls kiss each other?
We are talking here about kisses between ultra-feminine, straight-looking girls, usually with the help of alcohol and an audience, and often as a prelude to other, more naked activities. The girl-on-girl kiss is the stuff of spring breaks and frat parties, of late-night dating shows and reality television and, most recently, of the MTV Video Music Awards, in which a predatory Madonna seized one tender, coquettish Britney Spears and -- in a brief, oddly mechanical gesture -- proceeded to rock men's worlds.

What does it mean? Some of our efforts to understand this fascinating sociological phenomenon make plain that -- like the paintings of Pollock and the poetry of Pound -- many things worth knowing are not easily parsed. We ask Mo Rocca, a roving pop culture satirist on several cable television shows, how men explain this fantasy of theirs.

"You'll hear responses of 'Oh man!' to 'Damn, that's hot,' " Rocca says. "So there's a whole range of analyses."

We try another pop culture critic, a woman named Susie Watson, who waxes a little about taboos, and then starts laughing. She says, "My husband's over here rubbing his hands together like, 'Oh, yeah.' "

We ask to speak to the guy who's rubbing his hands. His name is Henry Godbout.

"A woman is great and two women would be even better," Godbout says. "Y'know, it's just a volume thing. And then if you have three or four women, it would be a party."

A party?

"It's pretty much Porno 101," Godbout says. "Not that I ever look at it."

Oh, yeah, a "party." This is a popular theme, as we will discover later when we ask a few experts on male fantasies who happen to be drinking beer at a bar in Adams Morgan. But before we get to that, let's define our terms.

We are not talking about the mainstreaming of gays into popular culture, or the lesbian chic of the early '90s, or even gay experimentation among young women in college dorm rooms. We are talking about girls kissing girls for the sake of male titillation, with any enjoyment on the part of the participants being wholly subsidiary. We are talking less about the movie "Kissing Jessica Stein," in which a straight woman sincerely experiments with lesbianism, and more about the MTV flick "The Real Cancun," in which kissing other girls is what girls on spring break do while wearing bikinis and drinking in front of cameras.

We are talking about dating shows, in which one girl kisses another girl in hopes that the guy will think her provocative, and we're talking about all those kisses between all those braless, shirt-raising girls in the "Girls Gone Wild" videos. We're talking about the young Russian singing duo Tatu, whose greatest claim to fame is their willingness to go at each other in any public venue. We're talking about the recent rumors in the New York Post about socialite Paris Hilton, who was supposedly seen kissing a woman, and then supposedly not. According to the newspaper, her mother blamed club promoters for trying to hitch Hilton onto the Britney-Madonna kissing wagon.

Whatever the case, rumors of a lesbian dalliance make Hilton seem more -- not less -- accessible to guys. This is one of the central contradictions of the fantasy, and it requires experts to explain. So we approach three young guys, friends since their recent undergraduate years at Georgetown, at the corner of the bar in Tom Tom, and ask them if girls have ever kissed each other in front of them, for show. They say they've each seen it over and over. ("Girls kiss all the time," says Raj Mohan, 22, a neuroscience researcher.) We ask what their reaction typically is.

"You're thinking, I can jump in and get in the threesome," says Greg Goldberg, 23, now a law student at George Mason. Of course! The fantasy is so powerful, says Goldberg, that "if you ever go on spring break and see a wet T-shirt contest . . . whatever two girls go up there and do the most lesbian activities are most likely to win."

We call Goldberg back later to ask if his fantasy has ever come true.

He hesitates. Um, no.

The odd thing about the girl-on-girl kiss is, it seems to be less threatening to men than a guy-girl kiss. The way guys think about it, if the girl is essentially straight, then she isn't "taken" yet; she's just getting warmed up. And they don't have to watch another man in an erotic situation, which could make them feel somehow icky. But there's another element here, and it has to do with the male fascination with female sexuality as a mysterious terrain with fluid boundaries. "Enigmatic," is how Goldberg terms it. Maybe it's that tired old madonna-whore notion, in which women are seen alternately as prim and as so libidinous they can't help but seizing whoever's next to them, man or woman. Just maybe, if they could lose their inhibitions, wild things would happen.

"I think a wise man once told me that no woman is more than five beers away from being a lesbian," Goldberg says.

And then there's another element. Guys love the idea of the performance just for them. There's an element of submission to it, maybe. We'll call it the stripper factor.

"They want to entertain you," says Graham Brock, 23, who works in real estate. "I think that's where guys get off, is girls doing something that's actually beyond their nature to entertain them."

On this particular night, the women we ask are uniformly disgusted by the prospect of kissing another girl in public. They think it's a trashy ploy for attention. They think it's pathetic.

"Not to sound like a big bitch, but I feel like our friends are slightly more classy than that," says one young law student with a group of her girlfriends.

But somewhere, on stages lined with high-heeled legs and wet-clad chests, girls are lining up to kiss each other, and crowds of men are readying themselves to cheer. And maybe the girls are thinking about Madonna and Britney (and Christina Aguilera, who also shared a girl-kiss at the MTV awards) and thinking this could be their ticket to . . . something.

And meanwhile, Joe Francis, the creator of "Girls Gone Wild," the video series that makes bundles off the average girl's exhibitionism, is doubtless rubbing his hands.

He prefers to film girls kiss girls as opposed to kissing guys. "There's something just much more pure about it."

And it all works out, he adds, because girls just like to kiss each other.

"I know very few girls that haven't made out with one of their friends," Francis says.

His spokesman, Bill Horn, who's also on the phone, jumps in.

"You should make out with girls!" he suggests gleefully to us.

"C'mon, you've never been curious?" Francis says, like he's the wolf to our Little Red Riding Hood. "When you were 22 or 20?"

"She's interviewing you," Horn reminds Francis.

"But I'm saying, c'mon," Francis says, sounding more and more like a man whose world is a constant string of topless 20-year-olds with roving tongues. Which is what he is. Which is every man's fantasy, after all. "Girls get curious," he says.

Source: The Washington Post Company


Um easy. Cause it's hot. Its f***ing hot to see 2 gals get it on. its taboo and hot.

its hot to see 2 dudes kiss too. yep.


in one way I find it also very erotic, but on the other hand I have to disagree with the article that men don't feel threatened by it.
I mean if I knew it was just for entertainment then it's ok, but my persona view is that I also see the girl as competition and even as more difficult than a guy.


Yay! Anne! I like your attitude!


I think one of the best lines I've heard on this topic is "Straight men are disgusted by the idea of two men having sex, but are incredibly turned on by two women who have figured out that a man is totally unnecessary."


I've never understood why so many guys are crazy about it. 2 girls naked together, ok, most guys dream of joining in a making it a 3-some even if the girls are supposed to be lesbians.... but just kissing?


---but just kissing?---

it's like the "lite" version, or who sais they aren't to be naked together later? you have to start somewhere.


its hot because its two hot girls doing something, rather than looking at a hot girl and a guy. also psychologically deep down we're feeling the imaginary threesome.

i think its part of the overall reproductive strategy of men to have sex with as many women as possible and spread our genetic seed far and wide. two chicks kissing is twice the potential for doing this in the same sitting.

special note though: real lesbians are generally a lot less attractive than fake ones


from a womans point of view it is very sexy to kiss another woman on the lips i love it and so do most other women that have kissed another woman. its the idea of turning a man on makes it more sexy and kinky than anything else! if you keep going at it both of you get horny enough that you start to strip each other down which is a bigger turn on for a man to see 2 beautiful girls kissing while naked and getting to see the pussy of two amazingly beautiful bodys and most men cant stand the thought of just watching that they want to join but when it starts the way i described most women want just a girl on girl action no threesomes there which makes most guys just unbearable


It's all about Marketing.

Why do guys like big boobs? Well, boobs are a good thing when you're little, a desirable thing when you get older and start dating, BAM!!!- cut to Madison Avenue- huge ones are even better! (Hugh Hefner made a fortune with that one). Now ever half-baked actress in Hollywood has a big set of new boobies.

It seems like the latest fad is all things gay. America's biggest hit show last year was Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Lesbianism is implied everywhere now in the fashion and advertising world.

Hey, I'm not complaining. I'm brainwashed too! I think a part of it is the thought that if those two hot girls would do that, kiss each other, they'll probably do it with me!

summer_in_love's picture

One thing I do agree with the article about is the quote "no woman is more than 5 beers away form being a lesbian" But I disagree with the fact that it says we may be looking for the attention Britney and Madona and Christina got, honestly all it is is encouragement from men ecspeacialy a man you're interested in cuase you know it will turn him on, alchohol and your bestfriend or the girl you just met that seems like a bad ass friendship is brewing, what better icebreaker than a drunken kiss while you are dirty dancing together? lol

shaved bi

That would certainly get me started Ashley!


Aw man, it's a big time turn on when men see 2 women kiss each other.

If men seriously find 2 women kissing each other disgusting, then they have serious issues.


i like it also but i also like to be involved.
i think its just they like to see two atractive people they would kiss, kiss eachother :)


I find it to be very arousing however sinful or morally unethical. I find I desire my ultra feminine straight hott babe to be dominated and face ridden by an ultra feminine hott straight looking girl and vice versa as much in the same way as I want to be in this area of sexual activity. I'm not talkin 3some with me involved just the two (or more) of them.
Straight lesbianism isn't a turn on 4 me. They have to be attracted to men also.


heaps of men are crazy bout it, cos they're attracted to women and being able to c '2' women get with each other both of which maybe attractive can be a source of stimulation. men are heaps visual creatures, and most of hte time u get with a chick u dont really get to see much, that's why its such a turn on wen you see yourself making love, or making love with a mirror and add that with having 2 women putting on a show for you where u can just sit back and watch or get involved later and that's where i think why u get men going crazy over 2 girls kissing and the likelihood of where it could end up.

personally i dont c wats wrong with it, and im not bothered by it.

Ooooh, can I go on your next camping trip with ya?

he he


yeah whereas two men kissing is offensive to some...


i've never been into girl but i saw a lesbian porn the other day a friend thought it would be funny to show me. surprisingly it was super hot. it could just be that i love being eaten out so much but watching it turned me on. i think women are better kissers and know what women want, which makes sense.


Two women liplocked? It's hard to explain, I think , for most men, women are simply erotic creatures (no offense) there's just something about your averagely attractive woman, that we want to see. Then you have kissing, all men can remember the "wood" we got in junior high and high school when we had our first kiss, or while we were kissing our girlfriends, and the promise of what that kiss could lead to. I think that therein is the stigma, it reminds of something so sweetly innocent, which could be so much more, but only If..... So for us to see two women kissing eachother, I don't think that we consciously are aware of everything that that kiss symbolizes historically to each of us, but it taps into some log forgotten area of our minds.
Or I could be completely off base, it could be just because homosexuality is so taboo, and a kiss between 2 women is the most innocent way to break that taboo. And so we've glorified it.


I am a bisexual young woman and i like to see 2 girls kiss and i like to see 2 guys kiss as well. I think for ME personally its the act of two people doing something that society would most likely find offensive. I have made out with one girl in front of a group of guys for spin the bottle and i enjoyed it, she said she enjoyed it and the guys did too lol. Also, i think part of it is that guys are told by their friends that it is hot to see 2 girls kissing, so they may just be saying that because they think it will get them into the "cool" group.


Lost one

Most men have not seen two REAL, not FANTASY, lesbians. Many lesbian couples are not the thing of male fantasy. I have seen real lesbians and it does not turn me on.

I have to say I, as a straight man, would not want to see more lesbians. That's just more competition for my logical mind's way of thinking. Now let there be more gay men, but more straight women. :)


[QUOTE=Greendale;108538]Aw man, it's a big time turn on when men see 2 women kiss each other.

If men seriously find 2 women kissing each other disgusting, then they have serious issues. [/QUOTE]

well yea if the two girls kissing are ugly lol then i can see the point!!!:cool:

Buck Naked

If you watch real lesbian porn, not the stuff made for men, it's quite erotic. Much better then the token lesbian scene thrown into a typical porn.


[QUOTE=Quote (girl12 @ June 30 2005,22:35)]I am a bisexual young woman and i like to see 2 girls kiss and i like to see 2 guys kiss as well. I think for ME personally its the act of two people doing something that society would most likely find offensive. I have made out with one girl in front of a group of guys for spin the bottle and i enjoyed it, she said she enjoyed it and the guys did too lol. Also, i think part of it is that guys are told by their friends that it is hot to see 2 girls kissing, so they may just be saying that because they think it will get them into the "cool" group.

I think you're right on here. I am a guy, and until just recently I thought it was sexy for two girls to kiss, and more. Recently though I find that I have lost all interest in it. I think it's a residual fear that my girlfriend would turn lesbian or something.

I know my brother was telling me about watching his wife make out with another girl and how he wanted her to go further, and all I could think is, "She CHEATED on you man!" I guess I have come to the realization that just because the other person is a girl does not negate the fact that it is cheating. I don't think I "liked" it before to get into the "cool group" but it was just the way guys were supposed to be, so that's how I was.

Magic Mushroom

I find it sexy when two hot women kiss delicately and sensually...This is not always the case.


and then when they.....................................................

El Capitan

[QUOTE=Quote (lilly2279 @ June 24 2004,09:59)]Ooooh, can I go on your next camping trip with ya?

he he[/QUOTE]
haha most deffinetly

El Capitan

I deffinetly find it sexy. Just as my girlfriend finds it sexy to see two guys kiss. In my eyes, I think it is a beautiful sight to see two beautiful women embrace eachother.

On a camping trip, myself, my girlfriend, a friend of mine, and his girlfriend, devised 'the game' where each of us try to outdo eachother in 'bi-curious' events. My girlfriend is bi-sexual, so she enjoyed the thought entirely, and both girls think seeing two guys kiss is a major turn on.
As far as we got was kissing with tongue. My friend and I didn't exactly enjoy it, but the girls did, and it was a beautiful site to see them do the same.

Needless to say our girls are best friends, and my friend and I are best friends, so it was fairly comfortable experimenting.


hello sylv's i read your comment and as a friend i tell you that you are very nice person and if you don't get any partner for that don't take tension god made someone special for you.

I just don't find women attractive. That's it. Two hot guys kissing is the same for me as two hot girls for men. Also, it is another turn on if I know those two guys are in a relationship. Kissing is generally boring to me, but if I get to see someone else's expression of love like that, it's hot. I really just don't like the normal idea of what a "hot" woman is. I like hair and extra weight and I hate the women who do this stuff just for attention. I have no problem with real lesbians. Love is love, relationships are relationships. But "Oh my goddd i had wayy to much to drink letz make owt for those guys". Ugh. Ugh.


The challenge of a man handling two women has already been touched upon. Let me suggest another possibility:

The challenge of changing the woman's erotic focus from another woman to men. "If I got a chance, I could show you what a real man is and then you would not need to be with another woman." Men can conquer all.

I am certainly not the only bisexual woman to whom that has been expressed. BTW, I do not believe that any man has ever seen me kiss another woman except those perfunctory greeting things.

There are two things a man can do for me that a woman cannot. Kissing is not one of them.