Sorry for the crappy title( been a long day) :)
I've been taking the advice from the boards and have been getting doing it with me on top and instead of the up and down which I always used to do, I'm going back and forth, but I'm finding that my new man is going soft before I've got to orgasm, so it's working for me, and not for him. He did try to thrust with me but this wasn't working for me and I felt I had to keep the control for me to orgasm...So it this the way for other people out there, or is there something I could be doing for him to stay hard/come as well??
What do you do when your on top? I dont mean back and forth and such I mean what do you look like. Do you have a "consintrating face" or are you looking at him with pure sexual passion. Try compromising. Instead of doing always what feels good for you. Just before you feel an organsm do what feels best for him and alternate between. When you on top try sitting up without ur hands on anything and start "flirting dirty". Rub yourself, touch yourself, make flirty faces. Hopefully this will help ...good luck !
That makes sense. It was my first time going on top of him so I guess I'm not totally comfortable with it yet, and also I'm aware that I'm letting his having more experience than I do affect how confident I am in bed. I'm still at this stage going to find it hard to totally let go with him like that.
With my ex I was more confident and I guess that's why I never had to think about this issue with him.
Why is it that you aren't confident yet? And what are you not confident with?
My own 2 cents is I wouldn't worry about what faces you're making, as that's just about guaranteed to make you self-conscious, and you'll wind up feeling weird, then he'll wind up feeling weird, and the whole thing will rapidly become pointless.
The crux of the thing is right there in your post: "instead of the up and down which I always used to do, I'm going back and forth."
An observation: the movements that create the most physical sensation for one partner don't always do the same for the other.
Generally, for guys, there's a lot more physical excitement in sliding in and out. Your "back and forth" likely doesn't stimulate him the way the "up and down" does. Actually, I think just about all guys are familar with one or more variations on the "back and forth." Which is not to say there's anything wrong with it: most guys want the woman to get excited too, and frankly it's a bit of a relief if she has figured out how to do it herself. Plus, it's not like we're supposed to be in a hurry, so an occasional break from the most physically stimulating movements is a good thing.
BUT:
Another observation: if he's going soft, a little more stimulation for him is probably in order.
So, I'd just say mix up the back-and-forth with the up-and-down a bit more and a bit more frequently -- and you can always move to some whole other position too.
Really appreciate the advice everyone and NizeGie, especially to you. We've always wound up with him going on top after a while of me on top so I was looking for help to not have to change positions everytime. I'm going to do what you've suggested which sounds pretty good advice! So his starting to thrust wasn't him trying to generally help me out, it was probably as he wanted to get into something that would stimulate him.. Plus, going back to a bit of what I know has worked has got to help me loads so the mixing it up thing sounds great! :)
Actually it is UP AND FORWARD then DOWN AND BACK - that way both participants get what they need!
Yeee haw!!