I'll try to be as clear as possible, and I apologise if this has been asked a hundred times here. This will probably be very descriptive... but this is a sex forum. I looked though the forums a bit and didn't see anything that provided a clear answer to my inquiry.
I am a 25 year old guy, and my girlfriend is 23. She is Japanese, and is a very small girl. I have had sex with a number of girlfriends before her, but she has never had sex until we started dating. I am her first lover. She is the first virgin that I've ever been with, so maybe I am just being ignorant here.
We have had sex in only three sessions over 4 weeks. After the first time, she said she was in some pain. That is understandable, as her hymen was broken (or streched, I suppose). She did bleed a bit. She said she felt sore the next morning.
The next time we had sex was a week later (we both work, so it is hard to find enough time). We had sex three times over an afternoon and evening. She was fine after the first two times (although she experienced some pain when I inserted myself both times). After the third time, she said she was sore. That makes sense to me. She also said she was sore the next morning, as before. That's understandable, I think.
The next week, she had a fever. So, we didn't have sex. The following week, she was on her period, so we didn't have sex again. On the third week since last having sex(today, actually) we had sex again. We had sex one time. Afterwords, she said she felt quite sore around her vaginal 'lips'. Usually, when girls are excited, their 'lips' are a bit red and maybe swollen (to the best of my knowledge). Hers were a little like that. I don't remember if they were like this during the other two occasions where we had sex. She also bleed a very little bit after sex, she said (she told me there was some red on her panties).
For reference, her pussy is quite small and tight. It is difficult for me to insert my penis at first, even after she is very wet. My penis, when erect, is about 18cm in length. I have been having sex for anywhere from 10-30 minutes (usually closer to 30) when I reach orgasm.
I am wondering why she is so sore, even after 4 weeks from her first having sex.
Do some girls still get sore a month, or more, after loosing their virginity? Is my penis just too large for her (she says that once I'm all in, she feels no pain)? Could her hymen not have been streched all the way open, or somehow grew back a bit, until today (I think this is unlikely)? Are her muscles down there just not used to all this action?
Thanks in advance for any good advice which I recieve.
I know that for the first few times after sex, I was sore. Taking a bath the day after for an hour or so helped a great deal with that. The length of time spent during intercourse might also effect her as her muscles are not used to sexual activity.
I also find that even now I can be sore after sex if I havent had it in a while
My advice? Give it time, perhaps try and cut down the amount of time you spend in actual penetration until you've been doing this a while with her.
A very good recommendation, that, Iris.
Khyron, if you do an advanced search on the board, you will find posts by Brandye and myself that state two facts:
F#1: Intercourse that lasts longer than ten minutes makes most women tired, bored and sore.
F#2: It is not the purpose of intercourse to build a man's level of arousal to a level that he is then ready to climax. This is the why of all the kissing, caressing, and foreplay, that preceeds actual intercourse!
If you are devoting this lengthy amount of time in an attempt to stroke and stroke and thrust your way to the point of climaxing then you definitely have the proverbial cart before the horse. When invited to enter your partner, you should have already reached your peak and then slipped slightly down your arousal curve just a bit so you won't climax while moving around and into position. Then, you can stroke for a few minutes in order to maintain your already high state of readiness--finally thrusting when you want to finish.
That your girlfriend is Japanese is interesting, yet has no relevence to your situation. My wife is also Japanese (Amerasian) and has never seen 105 lbs. except with a heavy winter jacket on. Men and women come in all shapes and sizes in every ethnicity.
Soreness can come from any one of several situations. Women new to intercourse are often bothered by soreness simply because the vaginal entrance is inherently small. Very often a woman can stretch this over the course of several days. That you are "humping" away for half an hour is just inviting chafing and all that rubbing is just asking for irritated tissues.
You can pretty much guarantee a better sex life following the guidelines, above. Good luck. Got questions?
[QUOTE=Iris]I know that for the first few times after sex, I was sore. Taking a bath the day after for an hour or so helped a great deal with that. The length of time spent during intercourse might also effect her as her muscles are not used to sexual activity.
I also find that even now I can be sore after sex if I havent had it in a while
My advice? Give it time, perhaps try and cut down the amount of time you spend in actual penetration until you've been doing this a while with her.[/QUOTE]Thanks Iris, I appreciate it.
I really liked the information that you can be sore if you haven't had sex in a few weeks. That's good to know.
These are all things that I was considering, as you may have gathered from my post.
Every other girl that I've been with before has been more experienced and larger (as in, taller than her. She's about 153 cm. I think that's about 5 feet in the US system). Maybe I just need to get used to such a small girl, and to take it even easier than I have been trying to do.
[QUOTE=dancingdoc2]A very good recommendation, that, Iris.
Khyron, if you do an advanced search on the board, you will find posts by Brandye and myself that state two facts:
F#1: Intercourse that lasts longer than ten minutes makes most women tired, bored and sore.[/QUOTE]I generally try to change it up between different positions, fingering, licking, playing with each other, etc. So, I guess I don't really have intercourse for 30 minutes straight. That might be the total time from the initial penetration to the 'final penetration', if you will. So, of the 30 minutes, maybe 10 or 15 are actual penetration. I should've been more specific earlier. (Hell, I even get bored if I'm doing the same thing for 39 minutes!!!) I have never had a complaint with this before. I guess I've been doing something right! :D The case is different with this girl though, as she is sore. Of course she is tired after, but so am I. That's no suprise, nor is it necessarily a bad thing.
[QUOTE]That your girlfriend is Japanese is interesting, yet has no relevence to your situation. My wife is also Japanese (Amerasian) and has never seen 105 lbs. except with a heavy winter jacket on. Men and women come in all shapes and sizes in every ethnicity.[/QUOTE]I mearly said it to emphesize that she is a small girl; as most Japanese girls are quite small when compared to other non-Asian ethnicities (and even to some other Asian ethnicities, such as Korean or Mongolian!).
[QUOTE]Soreness can come from any one of several situations. Women new to intercourse are often bothered by soreness simply because the vaginal entrance is inherently small. Very often a woman can stretch this over the course of several days. That you are "humping" away for half an hour is just inviting chafing and all that rubbing is just asking for irritated tissues.[/QUOTE]I was thinking that, whether I was thrusting away from half an hour or not.
[QUOTE]You can pretty much guarantee a better sex life following the guidelines, above. Good luck. Got questions?[/QUOTE]Thanks for providing your advice from what you've experienced. I do appreciate it.
Really though, I am much more curious of what women have to say about this. As a man, you can rehash what you've been told, but you haven't experienced this stuff first-hand. That is why I really appreciate someone like Iris giving her opinion.