Hi me and my girlfriend have been together nearly 9 months and are ready to start having sex. Its not my first time but it is hers, and she now knows that she is definately ready.
But we are having a few problems. As it is her first time i expected her to be a little tight, but its probably more so than i thought. We have talked about it and i thought that maybe we weren't trying enough foreplay beforehand but even after spending over an hour on this area i just cant insert my penis (around 7 inches and 3ish inches round.) We have tried things such as KY jelly though i only used a little and still i can't enter properly.
Does ahuone know anything else that could be cuasing it?
This may be totally wrong but someone told me that with it being her first time she may not realise but she may be tensing up making it difficult to be able to enter. Apart from this im not sure what it could be, we are both comfortable talking about it and i have no problems in waiting for the right moment but i just can't think of any other ways to make it easier for us.
Any help would be much appreciated.
you said you have spent over an hour on forplay... does that include gradual increase in size of what is being put into your gf's vagina.. ie. 1 finger, 2, finger, maybe up to 3 if very slowly, to gently prepare her for your penis? A small/medium dildo could maybe help if either one of you want to purchase one... does she ever masturbate herself and have any trouble? ... lube is defintely a plus i think, but i hope she is also producing some of her own lubrication, i would think that if she isn't then its a sign she is not relaxed enough to have penetration...
.. there are medical conditions that cause tightening of the vagina (someone like Brandye could elaborate more on that), but for now it sounds perhaps more like nerves, and besides ideally when a young woman becomes sexually active it is time to get examined by a gynecologist anyway... if she is nervous perhaps a nice massage would help her relax, or if you're not into that kind of stuff ask her what might help her...
thats all the ideas i got for now but im sure some more qualified people can be along to help ya
hope it all works out, glad you're concerned to help make a better first time for her
ps. in the meantime i hope you are looking around the forum im sure there are some related posts as this is something that other young women have gone through...
Look around the site for "vaginismus." This is uncontrolled tightening of the muscles around the vaginal entrance. Many women experience this and get over it with a little practice. Many experience this getting worse and worse. There are documented cases, reported here from news accounts, of couples being married for years without consummation.
It is nothing to be ignored. It could be her body saying, "Not yet!" It could be a deeper issue. All gyn's have dealt with this and it usually involves some therapy.
Each "failure" makes it more likely that it will be worse next time.