hi guys
well its simply a question where my gf says that she feels 'sore' after i was fingering her. it was fine when i did it but then i went to rub her clit and when i went back to her entrance she couldnt take it saying just the slightest touch made her feel really sore and sensitive. She hasnt had sex for roughly 2 years and so i m thinking the progression from a finger to actual sex will take time as that would hurt even more.
My question is really regarding what i or we both can do to solve the problem and if anyone knows what this problem is as to why it happening. Is it simply b/c she hasnt been sexually active for a while??
Any advice much appreciated
Maybe she dried out a little after awhile?!?
I have no clue really
Are your nails trim?
I also think she may not be wet enough, she may feel anxious.
[QUOTE=snowman;191677]hi guys . . .
She hasnt had sex for roughly 2 years and so i m thinking the progression from a finger to actual sex will take time as that would hurt even more . . .
Any advice much appreciated[/QUOTE]
Hey Snowman,
If she has already has experienced penile penetration in the past, she hasn't grown a new hymen and the actual size of her vagina is not an issue.
Lubrication is important. Don't be shy about using artificial lube. Her clit should be wet when you stimulate it - one reason that oral sex on a woman is so sweet. You can make more mistakes during clitoral stimulation with your finger than you can with your soft tongue.
If you rub her clit while it is dry, and/or you use too much pressure and/or poke at it or stroke it awkwardly, it is likely to hurt. That pain can be sharp and a major turn off, making vaginal penetration by a finger or penis soon afterwards uncomfortable also.
If you want to reduce the chance of causing her pain when you are fingering her clit, try spitting on your finger and making small gentle circles around the skin that surrounds the clit. Don't touch the clit directly and see how she responds.
Relaxation is important. Don't rush into any kind of penetration, and touch her in ways that will leave her relaxed and wet enough that it shouldn't hurt. If you don't have privacy or you are rushing to make sure you don't "get caught" she may not be able to relax enough.
Some women are unable to relax their vagina. This is a condition that she may want to see a therapist or doctor about.
She may have an STI from a past sex partner (or a yeast infection or urinary tract infection, etc.), they could certainly make penetration uncomfortable or painful. Again, she would need to see a health care provider to test and treat any STIs.
Or maybe you're not the one who does it for her. If she's not turned on to you or by you, she won't enjoy sex with you.
Thanks for the replies guys.
My nails are trim and she said the only feels sensitive or sore near her vaginal opening any touch makes her feel sore and this was after i was fingering her for the 1st time and then went to do it again was when she felt discomfort. I asked her about her clit eing sore and she said no it wasnt. She did say that she found it hard to relax fully making her feel uptight in her muscles and contractions. Another thing she said today was when she got home last night and went to the toilet she felt discomfort but today she is fine.
Anyone figure the possible signs this outlines...
Like what kind of pain is it??
The vaginal opening... is it sore like a bruise? or a scratch? sunburn?
I know if I am not wet enough... after sex my opening will be tender... just because the skin is rubbed raw a little. It burns some when I pee.. but is usually fine the next day.
You could have been fingering her...went to do something else...and when you came back she had dried out a little and was raw.
I mean the description is so vague... ?!?
Okay:
1. wash your hands before fingering, thank you
2. use lubricant
3. keep your nails trimmed and scrubbed clean
4. not so rough, please
Manual stimulation should be part of a continum of arousal involving various and simultaneous techinques - not just "in we go"! Some further refinement on your part may very well help her relax more; making sex more enjoyable for the both of you.
she says she feels pain/soreness on the inside of her legs just below like her muscles are hurting...
not sure if that gives a clearer picture..
In which case either stop spreading her legs like she was a pretzel (unnecessary) or she needs more exercise to strengthen and tone her leg muscles.
Evil states a good point. She should tighten & tone up the Quads, and the inner & outer thighs...
Wait a minute . . .
I don't think snowman's situation as described in his original or later posts on this thread could be improved by having his gf do toning exercises. Sounds more like an infection or involuntary vaginal constriction to me, but of course I don't have a medical background and wouldn't dream of diagnosing online or offline.
When he stated it was the "inside of her legs" as if the muscles are sore it sounds as if the inner thighs are sore or uncomfortable. Much like walking bow-legged from having the inner thighs stretched & really used.
Yes, at first thought he meant something else - but it turns out it is her leg muscles and the top of her inner thighs. At least, I hope so.