I don't know if this is just me but do any other women take a really long time to reach orgasm from oral sex? I've never been able to get one. I know what one feels like because I've had one from use of a vibrator. I really like oral but my boyfriend keeps stopping every so often, like after three or five minutes of trying because he says his tongue is tired and because his neck hurts from the position. He wants to please me. I just don't know what position to use that would make both him and I comfortable. Previously, I've just been lying on my back on the bed with my legs apart. Any suggestions on what i could do to orgasm faster or at all? Is it possible I'm just not able to orgasm from oral sex?
Mon, 11/20/2006 - 07:40
#1
getting pleased
There are a couple of things you can try.
You can prop pillows under your ass to raise it up on the bed so his neck is not in such a disjointed position, or you can lie down on the bed with your legs hanging off the edge and spread open so he has easy access to you.
I sincerely hope it is his neck that is causing most of his problem. 3-5 minutes of tongue action is nothing. If his tongue is getting tired after that short of a period, he needs to do some practice exercises to build some stamina! ;-)
I can give my girlfriend oral for about 35mins until my tongue gets tired. One of my faves is when she sits on my face, try that with him, it's really hot.
> Is it possible I'm just not able to orgasm from oral sex?
Of course it is possible; however, I'd be willing to bet that it is technique and preparedness.
If you like the idea of a vibrator, have him purse his lips together and blow air through them like a kid making the sound of a lawnmower or outboard engine. He can vary the intensity of the air and the tightness of his lips to change the speed and intensity of the vibrations. By placing his lips against your clitoris and letting your lips vibrate against it will do some amazing things--almost like the real deal.
I write quite a bit about leanring how our partner masturbates so we can learn to mimic his/her technique. Achieving orgasms has a lot to do with conditioned response and technique. Oral may be able to trigger an orgasm for you, although my guess for the reason it is not is because you are not sufficiently aroused enough beforehand. Try building your arousal to a feverish pitch near the brink of an orgasm by foreplay, kissing, and caressing--making out--first and foremost. Do not try to get from zero to ten only from oral. It hardly works just like a guy believing he can stroke and stroke and stroke in order to build to and then trigger an orgasm. I hardly ever happens.
I used to take forever too and my embarrassment about being so darn slow would make it even worse. A few things that have helped me:
1. If you're really horny (where you're feeling all tingly and quivery)before he goes downstairs, you'll be a lot quicker. That usually happens from being mentally aroused by the situation or scenario. Your mind is much more powerful than any fingers, tongue or penis...
2. Come up with a few fantasies that really get you going - once he starts oral, close your eyes and fantasize away.
3. Does he put his fingers inside you during? That usually pushes me over the top if I'm sorta close.
But if he's stopping every 3-4 minutes, I'd never get there either. Make sure you're giving him feedback when he's in the right place,doing the right thing. If a man feels appreciated, he'll do anything you ask just to make you happy. I was always embarrassed to give feedback, but once I realized how helpful it is, I felt more comfortable with it.
Jenny Kennedy
Easy Orgasms for Difficult Women
www.DifficultWoman.com
thanks so much
> But if he's stopping every 3-4 minutes, I'd never get there either.
An excellent point. It is OK to stop every so often in order to prolong the proceedings and/or to build excitement and anticipation; however, what is crucially important for every male partner to get is that once you begin to work on triggering an orgasm, never ever stop until she has climaxed and indicates enough is enough.
And... while we're on the topic... if a woman knows her man is going to "abandon" her just when she's getting revved up, she won't let herself get revved up. Well, at least I won't. I need to have the assurance (from past experience) that he's in it for the duration and is loving every minute of it, or I won't get out of first gear, so to speak.
Jenny
Easy Orgasms for Difficult Women
www.difficultwoman.com
I agree Difficult Woman, she won't let herself get revved up if he's going to keep stopping like that. As to positions, have him kneel at the edge of the bed while you sit on the edge of the bed or stand before him while he kneels.
That has always worked for me, having her lay on the bed and me on the floor that way I can use the bed to prop me and I can lick her like that for as long as she wants......and occasionally stand realy quick and wet the wick (just because I get very excited performing oral sex). The tongue exercises are invaluable. I get quite sore if it has been sometime since opportunities so keeping your tongue limber is important....then just grab his head a tell him, ohhhh no don't stop mister (or miss)