Hunny we all do bad things it doesn't mean we will make terrible mothers..
lol to tell you the truth even to this day I don't like kids , cant tolerate them in my house and have no patience for them .. but my own 2 kids where different, Something just changes in you when you hold your baby in your arms the first time... You are still young do all the things you want to do before thinking of starting a family of your own or getting your tubes tied.....

Lol lucky you to have an Evil and sweet mum...Some just get the Evil lol

How old are you?

How long have you and your boyfriend been together?

How many boyfriends have you had to date?

Are you in school? What grade?

Are you employed?

When do you see yourself settling down and married?

What do you see yourself doing in five years? Ten years?

Do you see your present relationship as a "keeper"? If so, what does your man say about having children?
Yes? No? Maybe? How many? If yes, regardless of the number, how long into the relationship do you
see your first pregnancy? Will you be able to afford children then?

What do you plan to do the the thousands of dollars over twenty years that would not go to the expense
of raising offspring?

[QUOTE=KMB;245141]

I think sometimes sadly my dad is more understanding then my mom :([/QUOTE]

Thats good talk with your Dad...Let what your mother says "Go in one ear and out the other"

Really all the fears of being a mother came down to way I was raised... My mother was a real SHIT mother.. So I did have a good reason to prove her wrong that I would make a terrible mother...
lol Old bitch.. I showed her.

Not saying your mother is the same, just proving a point that sometimes a bad childhood can make you even more stronger and
more determined not to carry it on to future generations:D

Yeah, see the OP's mom makes me angry too.....

[QUOTE=KMB;245089]I'm thinking of getting them tied because I know I wouldn't be very good at taking care of a kid.[/QUOTE]

Nearly no one thinks they'll be very good at taking care of a child, until they have a child to take care of. Instincts kick in.

If there is ANY chance, IN THE WORLD, that you could change your mind at some point and want to have a child of your own*, DON'T do anything permanent right now. Absolutely do not do anything permanent without fully discussing it with your boyfriend.

*It's worth noting that if you take a permanent route and down the road your mind should happen to change about children, there's always adoption.

Ok Im going to say this .. Don't be offended lol

Your mother is a right bitch, how dare she try and push this onto you, What right does she have to stop you having children of your own. If she was my mother I would tell her to F off:)

I was almost your age when I had my first child and didnt want to be a mother and didnt think I would be able to look after a baby (my mother also said I would make a terrible mother lol). But that baby is now over 21....... So I done it.. maybe not the perfect mother but
It all seemed to slip into place...

You are still very young to decide on this .. I suggest you wait untill
you are atleast in your late 20's before deciding weather you
would like to have children..... maybe get an IUD instead of being on the pill?
At your age your mother should not be trying to influence your future

Hi back,

The reason for asking you all the questions (as well as those looking over your shoulder at this thread) is to learn where you are in life. Having been 8, 12, 16, 18, 25, 35, I can tell you that we are different people at different stages of life. For some their core values will change, others, their priorities, still others, will have more coping skills and different interests as the years go by and as they develop.

It is perfectly fine not to want or rear children. Please do not think we are urging you to change your mind or substitute our ideas for your own. I believe what we are encouraging you to do is to understand that in ten years you will likely be a different person than you are today. Once you get thru school, become established in a job or profession, have a bank account, have done some traveling and experienced more of what life has to offer, you may just change your mind. It is the "might" that we want you to understand and consider strongly.

I'm with you, as much as I like children, I would make a wonderful grandfather because I can visit with the children for a few hours and then send them home at night. Works for me. I have and I know a couple of men and women who have never married or had a live-in relationship, this is their choice and there is no right or wrong about it. It's simply what works for them. So, you may or may not make major changes in your life as you continue to develop, and, you may continue not to want children; all this is quite fine.

If in ten years you feel the same way, then do the deed. In the meantime, if your chosen method of birth control is working well, just continue on. If you want to investigate another type, then consult your doctor. (I can tell you from experience, each past decade will go by much speedier than the ones before, so while looking ahead at 28 seems far away, I can assure you that the perception of time will make it seem like months once you are there.)

Take the money you would be spending on one or more children and bank most of it. What remains, spend on traveling, and, other interesting things--like dance lessons for example. DO NOT waste it all away on fancy cars, boats, or luxury items, or, an expensive house. These if ever, should come later. As the economy has shown many people recently, they shoulda had mo' money in the bank and not splurged on a house that was clearly out of their means.

I applaud your decision, yet as others have advised, recommend not doing anything that ordinary contraceptive means have handled quite well for decades.

[QUOTE=KMB;245113]But I'm just going to live my life and think about it, I really do love kids but I'm only 18[/QUOTE]

Do you have any friends with children? There's always babysitting to get a tiny taste of what it would be like.

I highly suggest you don't make any final decisions right now.

And no offense to your mom, but I really don't get her issue....what, she doesn't want to be a grandma someday?

> maybe get an IUD instead of being on the pill?

I agree with nutty on this, at least look into one of the more reversible types. Over time it will be less expensive, with no muss no fuss no remembering to take the pill each day at a certain time--especially if you are traveling and crossing time zones!

No way should you do this! Sooner or later you will probably change your mind. BTW, I don't think your boyfriend's opinion should be considered. He's your boyfriend, that doesn't mean he's a love of your life.
When I was 18 I didn't want to have children ever. I wanted to get the best pleasures from this world and thought that children would prevent me from enjoying my life. I thought wrong! Children are the biggest joy in our lives! I don't have any yet, but I would love to.
Please, remember: children are our immortality.

Well maybe I'm confused...I read Alex's post as against the ligation, not against the IUD.

I do have to disagree about the opinion that the boyfriend not be involved in the conversation. What if she decides at some point that yes indeed he IS the love of her life? You don't disinvite the person who holds that position in your life, out of that decision making process. It has as much to do with him as it does her.

Hi Alexxx,

Please give us some more information about why you replied by advising against the IUD. Longterm it seems to make more sense for some women than continuing on the pill or using some other contraceptive.

Thanks,
-doc

Why don't you try IUD "intrauterine device" it can stop you from having a baby for 5-12 years. That way if you or your boyfriend changes your mind six years later you have the choice to have a kid. And you don't have to tak care of a kid your WHOLE life :eek:

Don't do the surgery for your parents and don't ,not do the surgery, for your boyfirend. Do it for yourself...

[QUOTE=KMB;245085]I'm not sure if this is the right place to write this,

I'm thinking of getting my Fallopian Tubes tied, I know I'm still young and have so many years to think of this but me, my mom and my dad think it's a good idea. I mean I really don't see myself taking care of a kid my whole life and there will be kids around me in my life where I don't have to have full responsibility on taking care of a kid.

I'm a little nervous about this and I do want to get it done, but before I do I just want to make sure my boyfriend doesn't want kids.

and I am certainly not going to get the surgery done by my parent's choice.

I'm doing it for me.[/QUOTE]

You said in one post that you haven't had sex. Do u want to be married first? And is your boyfriend "the one"? If he is the one and he say he wants kids...what r u going to do?

Damn these tossers with the ads are getting annoying..
Wish they would all bugger off and find some other site
to put their utter crap on lol

Also.. who's gonna pay for the surgery?
I mean I don't know how much it is.. but I would doubt that insurance would pay for such an elective surgery at such a young age.. hell my insurance barely paid ANY on my BC pills! but that's another rant all together! lol
I agree w/ the rest... do something like an IUD that is long term but not permanent... and don't let your mom sway you. Of course she's not wanting you to become a mother now.. but I am sure her opinion will change in say 5-7 yrs!

Look into Mirena, it's a more temporary solution and can be either emoved or replaced in 5 yrs depending on what your feelings are down the road. Most Dr's in the states won't do a permanent sterilization on women under 30 who have never had a child or they have health issues that makes pregnancy unsafe.

I doubt that any doctor would perform a ligation on an 18 yo in the absence of other medical conditions making pregnancy dangerous. (Full disclosure: I have never been married and had my tubes tied in my early thirties.) The iud could be a good choice but there are doctors who will not put one in for a very young non-parous woman. This old rule of thumb is being relaxed somewhat. The most effective, and reversible and most commonly used contraception for an 18 yo woman, are the hormonal methods - pill or ring.

You need to see a counselor at Planned Parenthood or discuss this with your doctor so that you are certain you have considered all available methods. Parents pushing ligation for an unmarried daughter? I cannot imagine such a thing.

Remember getting your tubes tied is generally considered permanent. Both the failure rate of the ligation and the success rate of repairing it are overstated in the article on the opening page. The failure rate is closer to one percent of one percent (one in 10000) and the success rate of repairing the damage varies tremendously from study to study.

I still urge you to tell your mother what she can do with herself, and not make any permanent (or even mostly permanent but maybe not) decisions at this stage of your life.

STOP

Do NOT get your tubes tied.
You most likely will NOT be a terrible mother.
You also most likely will NOT be with your current boyfriend when you do finally decide to have children esp since you two have only been together for a year and a half.

STAY on the BCPs and finish college and then get on with building a rich satisfying individual life for yourself. You have to have that BEFORE you can invite anyone else to share it with you.

Your current focus upon your reproduction is PREMATURE to say the least.
You should be discussing your career opportunities, not possible babies.
Career, marriage, kids - there's a reason behind the order. See paragraph 2 above.

Bonjour to all of you, I'm new on that forum. Thankyou for being a part of so nice community. SeeYa. :)

Oh gosh, that is a terrible suggestion from your mother. Just take birth control like the pill or like someone said, mirena and you will be fine. You are too young to do such an extreme thing. Shame on her for suggesting such a thing! Good luck young lady!

SACRIFICING??!?!?

YEGODS - how very Medieval of you.