Hi there. This may have been raised before. I would love to be able to make my boyfriend come by giving him oral. We do it, and he likes it, but he takes such a long time to come that my jaws and neck ache and I'm tired before we can get to that point. I've read that you can avoid this by varying what you do, but he needs a rhythmic pressure, and quite deep, to be able to trip over the edge. I can understand this because I'm the same with receiving oral - I need a fairly regular, unbroken stroke to get to orgasm. He's circumcised - this may make him less sensitive? I also have trouble getting him to come with my hand. I know neither is impossible, 'cos we have done it, and it's sooo great - how can I get it to happen like that more often?
Mon, 01/14/2008 - 20:49
#1
Getting my guy to come with oral
First off welcome to the SI101 boards. Your right, this question has been raised many many times. Just try going into the search engine and typing in Blow job...
But since Im already here, try this article
http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/new_sex/19802-how_do_i_get_him_her_orgas...
Hereyago, Ducy:
How Do I Get Him/Her to Orgasm From a Hand/Blow Job?
Also, please read through the Index for many more informative articles. It is listed at the top of the Main screen.
Well it is the same article doc....just for some reason anytime I try to do hyperlinks anymore it winds up opening a mini window that takes me back to the boards...
Thanks for responding, I've looked at the articles. More helpful on the hj than oral, to be honest. It's frustrating because he can make me come quite quickly with his mouth and fingers, and I seem only to be able to make him come via intercourse, apart from rare occasions (this is over the last three years). I don't know if he's inhibited - maybe feels more exposed if he's coming 'outside' as it were; or whether we've just established a routine and need to break it up a bit.
Anyway, going to go and get some more lube, some massage lotion, a bikini wax and look forward to Friday night when I see him again! :)
You know...here is a quick question for you...is sex good for you? Do you enjoy it? Because there is no rule that says you have to make him come with oral or a hand job. (Also a vagina and mouth are totally different feeling wise)
So why couldnt you go dont on him, lick and suck around it a bit, then then when you start to get tired, or even just after about 3 or 4 minutes....just get on top of him and start riding (with a condom of course) I dont think he would mind....
Hi Ducy
yes I do enjoy sex with my man! but I'd like it to be hotter, a bit dirtier - I wouldn't mind feeling more, well, slutty with him and for me, that's associated with making him come in different ways from 'just' intercourse. I'm not dissin' intercourse - but it feels like that's 'all' I can do for him. I'd like to vary it!
Probably not making myself very clear.
By the way, is the fact that he's circumcised linked to this? Is it harder for him to come (he's 37, so y'know, not a teenager)?
And how does a mouth and vagina differ in feeling? I thought men were really crazy for bj's, and it's not that mine doesn't enjoy what I do - it's just it must be, god, nearly two years since I last managed to make him come like that, and I dunno, I just feel less sexy because of it. Ditto hj. I'd very much like us to be more like some of the couples I read about on these message boards who seem to drive each other crazy, but I don't feel I really do that for him.
I know this probably sounds really insecure on my part, and I want to emphasise that he is really loving and attentive and complimentary - and he is really skilled with his tongue and fingers on me.
Being circumcized has little to do with it - there are some men who just do not orgasm from oral and it has nothing to do with you.
Here is a link to what I consider the preeminent site on male masturbation and as an extension, hand jobs.
www.jackinworld.com
Go to the site map page and then read the How to and the expert sections.
As for not being able to achieve a climax by your hand and/or mouth, the problem is twofold. First, if your hand technique does not exactly mimic what he has become accustomed to doing when home alone, and he is not providing feedback to you on how he is responding and for what he needs next, it will be a 50/50 chance of it ever happening. As for oral, what generally happens is that stimulation while not being what he requires to achieve a climax, is and does provide fantastic sensations that are above and beyond the intensity required to trigger an orgasm. Even though wrong, the intensity of oral stimulation is soooo good that it can send a guy into the ozone. If an orgasm is desired, what has to happen is to stop all stimulation, let him coast back down his response curve below what is required to trigger an orgasm, then switch methods (hand technique) using the rhythm, strokes, and pressures he requires. Oral can accompany this or not, your choice.
So, get him to show you how he masturbates and then to guide your hand over several sessions until you learn how to duplicate his movements. His next responsibility is to give you feedback or all is for naught.
> And how does a mouth and vagina differ in feeling? I thought men were really crazy for bj's, and it's not that mine doesn't enjoy what I do - it's just it must be, god, nearly two years since I last managed to make him come like that, and I dunno, I just feel less sexy because of it. Ditto hj.
Well, you can answer the "feel" question yourself by inserting a finger in each and seeing how one compares to the other. Moist lips also contribute to a great sensation.
So, it is not so much the difference in feel between the two, rather, the type of sensations each is capable of creating. The mouth can take a guy to a much higher level of excitement yet the key to your failure is not how one feels over the other; rather, how to get one to duplicate the type of sensation each guy relies upon to trigger an orgasm.
I personally love the feel of a bj, but have a very difficult time finishing by it alone. My girl can get me right to the edge, but I'm just not used to poppin off that way since all of my previous partners wouldn't go down. Combining the suction with the tongue action and occasional deep throat(it gives mind blowing warm, tight, textured stimulation all over the head) drives me absolutely insane to the point I don't know what's going on. I can barely even see my eyes are rolling around so much, but I just don't finish unless she adds in some pumping or hops on. If she hops on at that point I'm done in under 20 seconds.