Ok well....
the night pervious we were having sex and surprisingly he came very fast like in 2 minutes, he (late 20's) said to me that has never happened to him before and he just couldn’t stop it.... that was fine with me.... so we waited to go again the next night I started off giving him head, he’s un-circumcised and I haven’t had much experience getting a guy from soft to hard, so any way I started to suck the head etc it took a while but he soon got very hard then after a bit of play and sex we took a break and he was soft again so I then attempted to get him hard...... it really didn’t work was I doing something wrong he didn’t say..... But he ended doing it him self and it took him a little while too.... was this performance anxiety???..... Or was I just really bad at it???.....
Does any one have any tips on how to get him hard if he is un-circumcised.....
p.s he really loves it when i give him a b/j when he is hard but it does not seem to be that way when he soft.
thanks
> Does any one have any tips on how to get him hard if he is un-circumcised.....
p.s he really loves it when i give him a b/j when he is hard but it does not seem to be that way when he soft.
This seems to be another instance of placing the proverbial cart before the horse. Yea, I know, he likes and wants oral stimulation so much that he is willing to skim over or eliminate the preliminaries of making out altogether.
I agree many times oral is not as effective when soft as it is when hard. I recommend doing what he probably did, that is giving him a hand job inorder to work up an erection. That done, then you can integrate oral stimulation and then when he is nearing his climax, combining the two in what I refer to as the "dynamic duo". Now, while this will work, the two of you should devote a lot of time first and foremost to just making out--you know, all the kissing, caressing, and fondling and messing around couples do. There is a reason for all this necking and petting, first before getting to the heavy petting and foreplay, later. The reason is to turn each other on and to build each other's arousal, passion, anticipation, excitement, and sexual tension!
> But he ended doing it him self and it took him a little while too.... was this performance anxiety?
Given what I just outlined, I wonder why.........
No, it is probably not PA, just a simple case of masturbating in the usual way even when there is someone next to him who could cuddle and run her hands through his hair and over and over and over his skin to include lots of kisses to get him really turned on.
> it really didn’t work was I doing something wrong he didn’t say..... Or was I just really bad at it?
From what you say you were definitely not bad at it, parish the thought. He just wants to cut in line so to speak just ahead of the finish line foregoing all the race action before that makes the finish so much more wonderful.
Haven't the two of you sat for an hour or more in a car or on the sofa and just made out??? This is what is missing. Do this and put things in proper sequence without eliminating or rushing past the buildup phase and things should work much better for him--and you. Now, having said that, once he does have a climax, there will be some down time before he can have a second or third orgasm. This will typically be between 15 and 30 minutes, although recent reports from some younger guys say more like 5-10 is all it takes them. It all depends upon age, how a person is wired.
Subsequent go 'rounds whether he goes soft or not should again begin with some fooling around, first. It probably won't take as long, but darn, don't short change him or you. A guy can be up and ready for an orgasm in a matter of minutes; however, it takes women longer so all this kissing and caressing stuff will not only benefit him, it is pretty much a requirement for you and other women. Do not rush...make him want it, almost to the point that he can't stand it any longer. Work on each other's arousal from the ground up, not just being dropped in at the crest of the hill. Each of us has an arousal curve that he seems to want to cut short. Don't.
I hope this is of help. Got questions?
thanks doc, you have been verry helpfull in all my questions...
the only thing is is that we are 'friend with benifits' but i wouldnt really call us friends either we dont talk much which is really hard for me as i find it hard to connect with him, and therefore find it hard to just start making out with him the only time i go and see him is when we have orginised to catch up and have sex... he works and goes to the gym everyday so hes is only really free late at night.... around 8ish....
i know you and alot of other poeple would say why would i be with someone like that when i like them more than friends with benifits, but i have been alone for a while beacuse i havent meet anyone that i found that really interested me... and in turn was actually interested in me, & he was, to a certian point.... he is my ideal guy... he has no idea of that thou and i dare not tell him that, as im afraid it will scare him off and i know im setting my self up for hurt.... but i havent been hurt before and i have never done a friend with benefits before either and i said to my self that i have to try everything at least once.
i gess what im trying to ask is, :
next time i go and see him should i take the initative and start to make out with him before we get to the bedroom (which is where we usualy go stright away).... and just do that for a while.
thanks any advice would help..... sorry for the long reply...
> i gess what im trying to ask is, :
next time i go and see him should i take the initative and start to make out with him before we get to the bedroom (which is where we usualy go stright away).... and just do that for a while.
If it is something you would like to do, sure.
Regardless of who starts the preceedings, to "just do that for a while" is very important to a woman's arousal process and climb up the curve to her trigger point. Men benefit from a lot of kisses and caresses, also.
Making love is not what we do to each other, rather what we do with and for each other. If you start the ball rolling, you also have some control over how it proceeds and the speed of his climb up his arousal curve. When you consider most women liken a penis to a combination throttle and brake then you have complete control over his climb, the speed that he reaches the trigger point, and, any teasing like to pause once or twice in order to let his sense of urgency subside so you can build and perhaps rebuild his arousal, again. This has the effect of raising his passions to an even greater intensity not to mention his sexual tension and anticipation.
An alternative to starting things is to simply wait for him to initiate your love session. After he does, you can simply recriprocate in turn, OR!, you can reciprocate with gusto and up the ante' on your timetable not his. Whatever works.