Im a 22 year old guy and have some trouble in bed with my gf. I'll get hard really early, when we start making out and stuff. it's hard on its own, with neither me or my gf touching it. but then we fool around and she gets aroused, like 15 minutes after, and I've started to lose the erection. once this happens, it's like half an hour before I can get it up again.
Is it normal to lose a boner after like 15 minutes if she isn't playing with it? and is it normal to have to wait 30 min or so before you can get another one?
I've been doing kegel stuff for men, and I feel like it's harder... shoud I keep on doing these so my erections last longer? Ive also tried to mentally calm myself down so I don't get a hardon so fast, but that didn't work. this hasn't happened before, and now I'm just worreid each time. Thoughts?
Is there a reason she's not playing with it, or at least just holding it? That tactile reminder of what's happening can work for both of your benefits, keeping you up and helping her get aroused.
it's obviously become an issue for you and sometimes the brain can override the penis when you start to worry or think about it too much. it may take a bit of getting used to ignoring it, but the next time you get hard, just keep doing what you're doing and encourage her to keep giving your penis attention.
Absolutely. Haven't you heard the saying that "men need constant attention"? Perhaps this is what was meant by that.
A. Erections come and erections go. This is normal
B. Erections come at the very thought, sight, or smell of something erotic
C. Erections do need periodic to full time fondling in order to maintain
If you or your girlfriend are expecting your erection to last without any further stimulus then one or both of you are misinformed. Very often nowadays guys operate under the misguided misconception that the best way to a climax is from lots and Lots and LOTS of stroking and thrusting.** WRONG. The best way to a climax is from lots of fooling around and making out, first and foremost. If you want to climax from foreplay activities or intercourse, then begin the final step of the journey by first being brought to the brink from all that the two of you have been doing beforehand. Do not rush the process--or worse, cut it short.
To her benefit and pleasure, the two of you should be devoting no less than half an hour to kissing and caressing, longer within reason if convenient, in order to build her level of arousal to this level. You will benefit from all this, also. That said, why are you leaving your penis alone during this time? Don't!
Relationships are partnerships and this includes the romantic aspects also. Making love is not what we do to each other; rather, what we do with and for each other in partnership. She should be kissing, caressing, and fondling your body all the while you are devoting your time to her. Because erections are notional and may subside, this does not mean that your love making session is over or that something is wrong. Simply give the penis some time and attention and rebuild your erection. In point of fact, you might let your penis become flaccid now and then purposefully because most women love the power they have over it when they rebuild it and watch it grow in their hands! :D
After each ejaculation comes a refractory period or down time in which the penis does not respond for several minutes. This can be anywhere from ten minutes to half an hour and depends upon the man's age and "wiring". If you are just losing an erection from lack of attention and it is taking this long for an erection to return then my guess is that the two of you are failing to give it the attention it needs because of some belief that it has failed you. Nothing is further from the truth. So, if you are touching her skin all over, and she yours, then include your penis in all the fondling and kissing and stuff that you do to build and maintain each others arousal.
** When the time is right for your climax by whatever means (Foreplay or intercourse), then make certain you are on pins and needles and at the peak of your arousal yet not quite so close that you lose control moving around and getting into position. Keep in mind that a person's skin is their largest sexual organ and this skin includes a penis and clitoris. Do not expect them to fend for themselves.
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I recommend that the two of you read every article in the Index at least twice, discuss what you have learned, and add the information to what each of you already knows. Knowledge is empowering and from what little you have given us, it would appear that the two of you need more information. Next--practice, practice, practice.
I hope this is of help. Got questions?
-doc
With most of the women I've been with, I will also get hard pretty immediately, but in order to remain hard during 20-40 minutes of foreplay, I'll usually require, at minimum, her hands teasing, tickling, stroking or at least holding my cock. The only exception is when I am going down on her--even with no further attention by her to my erection, while performing cunnilingus I will always stay erect for as long as I stay down there. The penis is a mysterious and strange thing with a mind all its own--the poor guy just requires more physical "hands-on"!!
Michael
Thanks all for the help - especially DancingDoc. it's good to hear that this is normal! i like the idea that we should devote a lot of time to foreplay (mutual foreplay) to build up excitement.
most recently, we took a step back and just did foreplay stuff only, and like you guys suggested, we did this for a long time, and i put no mental pressure on myself to be hard for anything. i also directed her hand down to my crotch early on. all of this worked and i had no problems with being hard for the whole time.
thanks guys, and for the welcome dancingdoc, i'll be sure to contribute to these forums too
give endurnz or extenze a try. See if that helps
No, hindy, stay away from this crap.
[QUOTE=maupassant;279722]What are edurnz and extenze? Drugs or what?:confused:[/QUOTE]
They are the typical snake oil products from spam emails that want you to "embiggen your gentleman's area".
What are edurnz and extenze? Drugs or what?:confused:
Extenze, Endurnz, man up, libigrow are all natural supplements for male enhancement, that is make your dick bigger. If you go past the hype that they will make your dick bigger and look at the ingredients, most are made of combination of traditional herbs and such. Brandye despises this stuff as scams, but the herbs have been used for a long time and many men swear by them. SOme of these companies have made millions. Why you guys continue to shell out hard earned money if it did not do something.
Enzyte, Endurnz and Extenze are the big 3 over the counter natural supplement for male enhancement. (sounds like im reading a commerical - lol) They are just a bunch of herbs and plant extracts. Its no difference than taking a mega vitamin except the stuff in them are herbs for your cock. People have been taking the herbs for a long time. And people seem to buy them over and over and over. So the proof is in the people. People like them, must be fire where there is smoke.
Explained so often I am sick of them. There are many herbs and spices and animal parts that have been used for centuries that show no effect in controlled testing. Yes, many companies have made millions. Yes, many men keep shelling out for this crap. They are selling dreams just as my cosmetologists sells me dreams in a bottle. That does not mean they are effective and I am certainly no prettier with the proper foundation or blush or cologne - but I feel that I am.
If you follow the ingredients you will find that much of this stuff takes a few, or several, herbal ingredients that have historically been used and crams them all into one capsule. There has never been any test result showing that most of them have any effect and, when put together, it is not known whether they enhance one another or cancel one another out.
Placebo, anyone? Helluvalot cheaper.
Dried and powdered rhino horn. Dried and powdered tiger penis. All perfectly natural, all reputed by centuries of use to be 'effective' when they're not and all damnably responsible for the wiping out of species for nothing more than some guy wanting to get an erection.
Because all the men will be woozy from the blood loss to the new Louisville Slugger 3000's they bought. It'll be an arms race, because we are too stupid to just know what we need. "Just a bit more honey, then I'll stop. It's almost to my knee anyways. I swear this time!"