Question:Did anyone regret NOT doing it with someone that appealed to them?

[sensualGoddess]

All this recent talk about sex for sex's sake had my gears rolling. (Thank you community forum.)

So virgin or not, did anyone regret NOT doing it with someone? Or had the feeling that they were missing out of having sex with a particular person?

My answer is a strong emphatic yes. Who knew?

Occasionally some of us happen to find someone who seems to be ideal or matches 75% of what we're looking for in someone

I ask this for two reasons:

If someone is really really good at what they do intimately (all things leading up to sex) will they be good in bed? I would assume to believe so.

What if the person you ended up for the rest of your life turned out to be a total arse? Would you feel like you missed out having sex with someone who truly valued you (at the time)?

The "virginity" issue can only be maintained for so long and I wonder about the women who did follow what they were told about keeping their virginity for someone they loved, only to discover that the person they love was either selfish in bed or worse...a total monster in the relationship.

This is really why the question came up.

So...answers anyone?

I hope I'm not speaking for myself here, but I'm speaking for all women that may have felt cheated out of something...

[RedRoses]

It's an interesting subject, SG. For which I hope you'll get plenty of response.

My answer would be "no". Because basically; I've never met someone that appealed to me in that way, apart from the one guy with who I did do it Let me explain;

Such topics make me realize how everything to me was relatively simple. I didn't crave for sex, didn't want it, didn't need it. So the only purpose I saw for sex, was one day I'd be pleasing someone I'd love and he'd give me a child in return. Now there initially was a problem -a huge problem- but let's skip that for a second. Cause really, isn't it quite an easy start instead of being a teen with raging hormones and burning desires?

So; here I was; physically fully grown and developed, education all done, job with fixed contract, my own home. Basically; I had settled as an adult in this society. Guy comes along, who I initially simply like. A few months after meeting, we develop a friendship. We bond so profoundly, it's almost scary for both of us. He falls in love with me and touches me. Just one special caress. And for the first time in my life I feel for someone what everyone around me has described. There was a stirring in my blood that shot through my spine and awakened me. I started feeling it, craving more, wanting more, felt ready to take more. And at any time I did reach such a station, we simply proceeded one step on my journey of sexual discovery. Call it: instant gratification. Until one day I woke up and told him I wanted to feel him inside me. And that's the only step of the way I had to wait for a few weeks, mostly because he was a bit overwhelmed the moment was now there and I had to gather confidence and convince him it was all ok I loved him from the start and loving him grew deeper, along with my sexual desire rising and gaining the matching experience. Whether that's causal I can't proof, but just because it happened like that, it is certainly all together connected for me.

Iow; there was no waiting for me, no holding back, no specific choice I've made on keeping or throwing away my virginity. Not a burden nor a gift. I didn't let potential lovers pass my door. I wasn't drooling watching them pass by. I wasn't window-shopping for Mr Right. There were no guys I estimated as 45%, 75%, 85% matching. From other perspectives perhaps, but from a sexual perspective; they were all zero to me. I still haven't met another guy that stirs my blood. Even though I am now struggling with a greatly unsatisfied sexual desire, I'm still counting zero's. It just was a moment in time that it sparked and it grew. Call it destiny. Call it coincidence. Whatever; it was there.

I wouldn't have second-guessed proceeding with sex for one second, were it not for my desire to have children. Had he replied negative to that subject, it may have possibly stopped me. Because at the time; my desire for children was deep and far greater than my carefully growing desire for sex. And since sex could lead to pregnancy (no matter how careful); "no" to one meant "no" to another for me. In my mind; it was perfect logic at the time.

So it's not that I lost my virginity to him that's special. It's how I desire sex with him that is special. The world upside down from the perspective of many And that sexual desire on top of that extraordinary close bond together, makes this relationship something I value deeply. Even though it seems to be failing.

[Firmus]

I have to say yes, I've regretted not in the past.

Back when I was younger (ie. high school and just after) I was always the loner kid. I was 6' and 140lbs of wallflower, and I was in MARCHING BAND to top it off! I just couldn't fathom that people would be attracted to me. Somehow I managed to score the knockout wife I have now during that time, but for the longest time I thought it a fluke. Then after graduating college, I ballooned up over 120 additional pounds, and despite being in a serious relationship turning to marriage, I still had that feeling of "I don't have options". By that I mean I wasn't settling by any means for my wife, I adore her, but people like to feel "desired".

Now some 20 years later than that skinny high school dork, I'm finding out over and over just how many people had WISHED I made a move on them. I see the friends I had and can so tell how blind I was to their flirts. I had an opportunity to play with 2 girls at once. In one girl's basement watching Skinimax flicks, and she said "we'll have to turn this off, because if we both get horny I don't think you can handle us both." I've had my longest running friend tell me flat out she had wanted to screw my brains out for many many years, and she's an absolute vixen! I'd put her in the EEK category. Now that we're both happily married with families that won't be happening. We're still very close friends, actually our whole families are. But that's our little secret.

But it's one of the many things I've learned about my past that I "carry" now. I spent so much effort being the textbook honest/safe boyfriend for my now wife that I've missed out on a bunch of life's offerings, and now that we both look back on it we feel silly that we put so much weight on that artificial fidelity. That fidelity should be used now, not back when we were just dating and figuring out what kind of people we were.

I absolutely do not regret my wife, or any of our life together, and I wouldn't change that for any lost opportunities though. All those missed opportunities at least give me plenty to fap to in the morning shower.

[Brandye]

I thought everyone had missed opportunities that we would liked to have followed up on! Actually, "regret" may be too strong a world but my sexual fantasies almost all involve someone with whom I was willing and able but we simply never got to it.

[Firmus]

You're right, regret was too strong. More of the "aww man!" type feeling.

[Biker Babe]

Yes--I ABSOLUTELY regret it. I was a virgin when I got married. I was brought up in a strict Catholic home. I was a senior in high school when I had my very first "serious" boyfriend. He was 2 years older than me. We were "In Love". He was much more experienced than I was--and not a virgin. He helped me to discover the sexual side of myself. We did everything but have actual sex. If I could go back in time, he would have been my first.

I met my husband after my boyfriend and I broke up. I was his first girlfriend. I introduced HIM to everything sexual. Like with my first boyfriend, we did everything but have actual sex. I was continually struggling with that "Catholic guilt".

We dated for FIVE years holding out all the while until we were married. My wedding night was not what I expected. I cried---it was so painful for me. I struggled with sex for many years. I would block out each time we would have sex so I could get through it. It took a long time for the two of us to get to the place we are at now. I love sex. I can finally enjoy it .
I would have had sex with my husband before we had gotten married. Who knows--maybe it would have changed the course of our marriage---maybe things wouldn't have been so difficult.

[EvilEvilKitten]

But of course! But those times are balanced out by those that have me ruefully shaking my head "what was I thinking?"

All in all life has been, and continues to be, GREAT!!

[Ducy]

There are plenty of people I wish I had sex with when I had the chance. There are also some times where I wish I had sex with someone well before I actually did. Finally there are some people I wish I never slept with because it caused to many issues after the fact (this was when I was still sleeping with "foolish" gils and not women)

[Mutti]

Yes, and it totally ruined a perfectly good fantasy.

[ludaje]

yes,
Although I have been in a very happy and sexually fulfilling relationship for the last 19 years I often wonder what sex would have been like with another woman. I have only ever made love to the one person although fantasized many times about sex with many different girls during masturbation. Some who I know, some wou are famous and one who I became friendly with via email and messages on a forum.