My ex boyfriend is stalking me.

[Aphrodite_66]

I met a guy on a dating site a couple of months ago who seemed to be my perfect match.It turned out that he lied to me about being married and other things too.I am now with another guy i met on the same dating site.He is much more honest and genuine,he has already told me that he has already fallen in love with me.My problem is that when my new man was leaving my house he noticed someone sitting in a car outside.He thought it was my estranged husband, but the description of the car and the man fits my ex boyfriend.He glared at my new man and drove off in a hurry.I texted him and told him that i had met someone else and that our relationship is over.I'm worried that this may not have been the first time that he has parked outside my house and that he may do it again.

[dancingdoc2]

Call the police and make a report.
(Ask the police department what they can or cannot do on your behalf.)

Have a camera handy so you can take a picture should he park outside, again.

If push comes to shove, get a restraining order.

Do not interact with this person any more than you have as doing so could very well escalate matters in a negative way.

-doc

[Aphrodite_66]

Thanks doc,the only problem is it was at night and unless my man or i go outside we won't know if he is there or not.And i don't really want a confrontation if he is parked outside my house.My man said that he'll deal with him if he turns up again,and i don't want any issues.I was in love with my ex boyfriend,but he failed to tell me that he had a wife and children,even when i asked him outright.And he lied about his age and gave me a false surname as well.So when i found out his true identity and realised that i had been friends with his wife many years ago and that he has children,i ended our relationship.I then contacted my new man who i had only overlooked because he lived further away from me.We are so very compatible and have been almost inseperable since our first meeting.I feel that he is my soulmate and i don't want my ex boyfriend to complicate matters,although i have been very honest and open with my new man about my previous relationship and also that with my estranged husband.I doubt that the police would take action against my ex boyfriend if he is just parked outside my house and isn't causing me any harm.

[EvilEvilKitten]

CALL THE COPS!

Yes, they will do something about it. Stalking is ILLEGAL.
Yes, sitting out front at night in his car counts as stalking.

If you want evidence, talk to your neighbors, install a security camera that date/time stamps as it records.

Then get a large dog. You and the large dog then take dog-handling classes.

[dancingdoc2]

> And i don't really want a confrontation if he is parked outside my house.My man said that he'll deal with him if he turns up again,and i don't want any issues.

> > Do not interact with this person any more than you have as doing so could very well escalate matters in a negative way.

What part of do not interact with this person do the two of you not understand?

It is a typical guy thing for the man to both protect the woman, and also to confront someone with a lot of bluster, or, just plain talk. The trouble with this is that neither of you know how this ex- guy will react or retaliate.

Better to do as EEK and I have recommended--begin protecting yourself by calling the cops. Next, implement what other actions seem appropriate, like asking neighbors to monitor the street, or, calling them when you see him parked or driving by in order to have third party verification should it become necessary.

BTW, many cameras can take pictures in low light levels. If you have a streetlight near the place he parks, then this is often all the available light required to take a time exposure.

[EvilEvilKitten]

But she is NOT his woman and how GA an expression that is anyway.

What he really is angry that she found him out and dumped him - it is a WEAK EGO "she can't do that to me and get away with it thing" as well as "I'm better than him" thing.

CALL THE COPS and quit whinging abut it, Aphro - you have got to stop being a weak-sister and CALL THE COPS each and every time.

He should be living in fear NOT YOU, dammit.

[big916]

yes call the cops and get a restraining order with so many feet that you can't see each other, that will make it illegal for him to be parked outside. forget the dog and buy a gun. nothing special just a 38 revolver and maybe even put a sign up that says proud gun owner. study after study shows less crime happens when the criminal knows the potential victim has a gun.

[Aphrodite_66]

Well we are not allowed to own guns in my country except to get a licence to hunt.If it happens again i'll take pics from my front door and give the neighbours a description of the car and my ex boyfriend.Then i'll go to the police armed with the evidence and get them to deal with him.I don't think that he'll bother me anymore anyway,and i want nothing more to do with his sorry ass.

[dancingdoc2]

> I don't think that he'll bother me anymore anyway,and i want nothing more to do with his sorry ass.

This is so much wishful thinking and how people approach problems who are in denial.

Please, please, go to the police, first, then do as you have outlined, second, if required.

[Aphrodite_66]

He replied to the text i sent him and said he won't bother me any more.Maybe he's lying,after all he has lied to me before but i don't think i will have any trouble from him some how.