Crossing the Line? A serious matter in regards to sexual privacy and the internet

[sensualGoddess]

In case some of you haven't heard this week. I'm gonna post the link here

NJ student's suicide illustrates Internet dangers - Yahoo! News

To sum it up, a kid from a college committed suicide after his roommate used a webcam to broadcast him having sex with another male.

2 people have been charged in this criminal investigation.

I will urge all of you to read the link. So first of, wow. I'm shocked, saddened and disappointed. Mind you, I'm Catholic and I do not and can no longer believe in the "traditional" rules or views of homosexuality. Don't get me started how I truly believe how hypocritical I see organized religion to be at this point.

Anyways, this has made me think a lot about our rights to sexual privacy or privacy in general.

At the same time, I would have figured that by now, as a whole, we should have been more accepting to a person's sexuality instead of using it against someone for the entertainment at someone's expense.

But this isn't just with homosexuality.

Personally, I am thoroughly sickened with blatant disregard and disrespect to human sexuality, whether it is homo or hetero or bi. Why is it human nature that we bash something so great and essential to human life and for the sake of enjoyment?

Why is it that we see and use sex as a weapon to destroy a person or people involved?

This is something that as humans that we need to think about very very carefully, especially with how much damage one person can do to another on the internet.

Granted his story may or may not be unique to people of my generation, but enough is enough.

It's time to stop using sex as a weapon; it's also time for us to stop condemning homosexuality as you can tell in the article that we have a long way to go.

R.I.P Your story will not be in the vain, not this time. We should have learned something by now...

[RedRoses]

Terrible news... And cyberbullying shouldn't be underestimated! And neither should the classic sorts for that matter... People don't know what damage they cause. You don't want to know how many full grown (wo)men are still haunted by their memories of those bullying them!

And I'm so sorry to hear this had to do with his sexuality. I'm confused about the statement that this guy wouldn't have committed suicide if he would have been with a woman. Cause I can imagine a whole lot of reasons why he could have... Society/culture/taboo does have a wicked hand in such matters. It can be very overwhelming to feel like a cast out. And therefor I think this does not only set an example for homosexuality... By society I do not mean "the government" or something I mean: US, simply YOU and ME. That's one of the reasons why I try to consider each day how my actions affect others. When such things happen, you know that it's not just the kids who put them on the internet that caused this. There were many, many others! That already had driven him towards a brink; all he needed was a little push...

I've done quite some research on this lately, so please let me share this with you: Suicide is the last step. There has been miles of anger, extreme sadness and depression before someone makes this final decision. When after all the running, hiding and scratching to open up doors locked, there is absolutely no way out. Sometimes some open doors remain unseen, because the person is too far away to be reached by those who love him/her. You can't imagine how deeply depressed a person must be to not only think of it, but actually take his/her own life. Imagine how strong the will is to live amongst those who are starving or who held prison under unspeakable circumstances. Just as strong is the will to die whenever a person commits suicide.

[raunchy gal]

Thank you sensualGoddess and redroses,this is a very important message for everyone on this site BE VERY CAREFUL what and with whom you share on the internet.I read the link and i find this story so heartbreaking i feel so much for this young man and his family.I Think 5 years jail is pittance ,they might not even get jail.To me it seems to have been a horrible prank gone wrong.Tyler's family may not have known his sexual orientation,he may have just been experimenting.You are right redroses it doesn't take only one incident for something like this to occur.And no one ever gets over bullying of any kind.I was bullied and harrassed for many years as a child and teenager because of the way i looked.I have always been a plain jane and i copped much worse than that name.The old adage "sticks and stones may break my bones,but names will never hurt me" is complete and utter rubbish as far as i'm concerned

[dancingdoc2]

I read this story in our local newspaper and have heard it discussed on the radio.

I do not believe this is a matter of sexual orientation; rather, one of bullying. Was the broadcast preplanned? Because the webcam could be activated remotely, I believe it was a crime of opportunity. The roommate installed the software necessary to access his computer remotely. He wanted to be able to see what was going on in their room at any time. That he caught Mr. Clementi in an intimate act simply added fuel to his "fire".

I do not believe it matters whether the episode was between two men, two women, or one of each. The broadcast most likely c/would have occurred had there been a threesome or an orgy. The focus should be on selfishness, blatant disregard for privacy, wanting to broadcast an activity for the roommate's greater glory.

As someone not yet fully mature with a brain not yet able to see around corners and predict the consequences of his actions, he probably had no clue what his decision to invade his roommate's privacy would have. All he was no doubt interested in is providing an entertaining video for the entertainment of himself and others. Now, we know the cost of seeing that webcast.

Could Mr. Clementi have survived? Maybe yes, maybe no, had the young man been older, had more life experience and maturity, had a support system in which he could turn to in time of personal trouble--no matter what.

It is too bad that our laws do not have a more severe punishment for a prank gone horribly wrong resulting in death or injury.

[Brandye]

Caught the story off the satellite on CNN-International. BBc World had it as well.

Bullying? Yes. But had it been straight sex rather than gay sex the results would likely have been different. Either is a gross breach of privacy and the roommate responsible should do some time (you Yanks are second in the world for that!). But as far as we have come, in our Western culture homosexuality still bears a stigma. All the European nations now allow openly gay service members at all levels. Most recognize some form of partner's rights. But, it is still difficult to look your parents face on and announce your sexual orientation.

Our societies are partly guilty of the suicide; the invasion of privacy is simply a stupid, and criminal, act by callous and unthinking individuals.

[EvilEvilKitten]

I find any kind of bullying disgusting as well as criminal regardless of the context.

Dharun Ravi and Molly Wei both deserve two things: public humiliation and incarceration.

What society needs to address is this insane "one-up-mamship" that goes waay too far above mere competition which I call "penis-waving". Women/girls who join in should receive equal punishment. Those who aide and/or abet should receive punishment for that. And all of it should include a bit of public penance.

Gays 'outing' other gays and the right wing also need to learn the difference between what is public (everyone's business) and private (no one else's business).

[lnt1103]

Bullying? I'm sorry, but no. Not when it reaches this level. Mental and emotional abuse.

At some point, the behavior changes from the former to the latter. These are not 8-year-olds who pushed each other down on the playground. They are of-age "adults" who crossed the line (more like flew over it at Mach 5) and didn't give a damn.

"Bullying" gives the connotation that these are children who know no better. I honestly believe that using the term bullying when describing this BS behavior is part of what allows it to continue. Sure, little kids bully each other, and to a certain extent they need to be allowed to find their way through it instead of being coddled--sibling rivalry would be an example. It's how we learn to stand our ground, and I get that. But that also leads to the whole problem here. Identifying what has happened here by the term "bullying" allows us to ignore it because we don't coddle over "bullying".

As kids age, the stakes rise, and this metamorphosis from bullying to emotional abuse is what happens. There is incredible power in terminology. Only when we stop nonchalantly referring to it as childhood antics, will we start to turn the tide.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Whatever you choose to call it, this kind of behavior is simply not acceptable regardless of age or gender.

CRUELTY is a deadly vice.

[Darkwolf131]

I live in NJ, not too far from Rutgers (the schools where it happened). My boyfriend goes there. There was a moment of silence and a vigil at the homecoming game there this past weekend for him.
Its a crime that this happened, not only that Wei and Ravi were so cruel and inhumane, but that Clementi had nowhere to turn.