GF broke up with me yesterday, says she fell out of love

[shinji]

Well, yesterday my GF broke up with me. She said she still cares about me, but she no longer loves me. This crushed me, especially since things appeared to be going so well. Her relative from Germany came to visit two weeks ago, and my ex told her, and me to my face, that she can see us together a year from now.

In private my ex even said it. I took her to a big bad voodoo daddies concert, one of her favorite bands, and she had a really good time, the next morning we saw Toy Story 3. She was all smiles and kissed me, then out of no where I get a call saying she wanted to meet, and then she dropped the bomb when I met her.

She told me I am sweet, caring, and I shouldn't change who I am, but even she doesn't know what she wants anymore. She was working on a research project for school, and she lied to me, telling me she was still working on it, when in reality she finished it a week ago. She was just to afraid to talk to me.

She told me she lost her feelings of love about a month ago, when she first went to see her grandparents in Wyoming. She held on to hoping she could change her mind and her heart. But she couldn't, so she let me go.

I did tell her though, that I am willing to seek relationship counselling, but the offer won't be open forever. and I even told her that we can still be friends, as when we first started dating she said that if we ever broke up we could try to be friends.

She was on facebook for an hour this morning, changed her relationship status to single, but kept me as a friend. I hope that is a good sign that we can be friends.

I will not deny, when she told me, i felt used, and strung along, and i yelled, and got upset, and she broke down crying. I later sent an email apologizing for my behavior, and I extended an olive branch and told her I am working to forgive her, because it is unhealthy for me to hold onto this anger. I haven't received a response, and I plan to go NC for now.

I don't know how I can cope with this, i attach easily and my heart was just broken. I am just glad theres a thread here for that. I also plan to give up on dating for a while, give up on sex, give up on it all. This is two failures in a row and it hurts me. I needed to post this, it helps me feel a little better, I don't care if anyone responds to this, but if you want to feel free.
Thank you all for reading this.

[sensualGoddess]

Hey shinji, I'm sorry to hear this...I don't know what else to say here...

[lovesfool]

the best idea is to ignore her and get rid off facebook, its unhealthy to have her on there as resisting looking at her facebook is hard work.
i broke up with my gf 2 weeks ago and ive only just deleted her, you dont want to see her writing in " going out on the pull" etc
just hold your chin up high and go hunt for a girl who will love you.

good luck!

[shinji]

I am finding it really hard to recover. We have exchanged a few emails, like 2 of them. I will admit I am emotional over this, but it is just because I was given hope that we could last a while and 12 hours later I was dumped. I attach easily, I don't know why. I am seeking therapy to get over this as it was such a major blow after I was so happy when she said we would be together for a year.

[Stepanie]

How long the two of you had been together? you can move on, stop or prevent yourself from reminiscing the past to much. Moving on means going forward don't expect too much that things would be normal again no it won't, for if it will you will always fear on losing her again. Don't attach too much on the two of you being friends, don't be afraid of falling in love again you will surely find the right girl for you in no time.

[shinji]

I am doing well so far, though as people know I want her back. But the problem is I am not sure if she wants to come back. At this point its the waiting game, just wait till she contacts me to let me know her decision.

My counselor said that since I ver-think everything, I can think how I will react to whatever her decision will be. If she is willing to work on this relationship, then I can be prepared on how we proceed. If she doesn't, than I can think on how I can move on. But I know it will be a coupe days cause she is with family, so now I just wait.

[EvilEvilKitten]

This is a classic example of NOT being able to distinguish LOVE from INFATUATION. These two were Infatuated but not in Love because one does not "fall out of love".

Sorry, but there you are, Shingi.

Infatuation: heady, exciting, whirlwind, passionate, dramatic, starry-eyed, insecure. The infatuated need reassurance and big shows of affection. Infatuation slams you upside the head and announces its presence with blaring trumpets.

Love: Quiet, deep, abiding, no drama, enriching, no questions, no fears, no insecurities. Love doesn't require heroic acts or ardent declarations. Love sneaks into your life on little cat feet and quietly curls up in your heart.

If there's any angst or doubts in your relationship - then it isn't LOVE.