Acquiring Self Confidence

[EvilEvilKitten]

Of course life isn't fair which is why we, as people, have to play fair with the understanding that 1. there but for the grace of God go I and 2. I'm not perfect either. Just because life isn't fair doesn't exonerate us from behaving fairly.

Not everyone is going to like us. Shrug. Not all of our dreams will come true. Okay. But based upon the choices you make, your life will become the life you will have chosen to have. The past is prelude to the future.

All anyone can ask is that you put your back into it and build your life as you want it - doing the best you can with what you've got.

[EvilEvilKitten]

For all of you gentlemen out there who desire to be irresistable to the ladies, I recommend you read The Moving Toyshop by Edmund Crispin, paying particular attention to the character, Mr. Hoskins.

3 out of 3 gentlemen who have tried his methods report that they work very well, indeed.

[jordan274]

I wasn't confident about a year ago.
Getting confidence differs for everyone though, as with me, I got a job that dealt with face to face public. My lack of confidence grew and grew into more confidence. Thats not to say anyone can just gain confidence this way though.

I'm not that confident in bed though, but I can talk to people fairly easy.
I know what i like though and I'm proud to say that I can satisfy my partner, but i don't suggest new things into this. Though were not that old and were not bored at all of each other x3.

[emolover]

this helped me out doc thanks i just lost my gf yesterday because of a missunderstanding and what little self confidence i had was taken away when i lost her today i feel worthless and depressed idk what to do next weather to try and get her back or to let her go and move on im open to any suggestions cuz im really lost right now for those who read this and consider me pathetic its cool i just miss my girl and i know everyone has lost someone they cared about so i wont judge

[EvilEvilKitten]

Time to move on, emo.

[college sweetie]

My boyfriend and i are having issues in our relationship because he has lack of confidence. and the fear of loseing me but the more he acts on those feelings the more controling he gets and possesive. as in he needs to know where i am at all times. its pushing us apart and i dont know how to help him get some confidence so he does not need to feel like he needs to control/possese me.

any advice?

[EvilEvilKitten]

Excuse me but you, College Sweetie are making a HUGE error here in trying to help him. This is the type of male who ends up abusing his partner and engaging in domestic violence.

Read the sticky post on the Red Flags: Warning Signs - Part One

This is one relationship you MUST walk away from. Do it now.

[LOVELAND]

confidence is all about being able to relate with others without compromise your true nature. Part of it is born with us but part of it is a life skill that must be learnt ,at times through errors.

The trick is not to beat yourself all the time for the past mistakes. learn from them and embrace them as part of life or growing up.

in relationships be it social or intimate this means knowing what you are worth and communicating your values,ideas and thoughts without any fear of any kind....rejection is part of life and it only means someone has a different view point from yours not necessarilty a reflection of your inferiority.

Self knowledge and having a good socially acceptable trend of behaviour is a reflection of self confidence. Behind closed doors or sexually it means being in love with your body and accepting it as it is when you know you have done your best to look as attractive as you can be for your own goodness and adoration of your partner or partners...but comdomize!

Suggest a different sexual position or experiment or adventure without imposing it on your partner.let go of the fear of rejection or thinking of the negative impact it might have on the relationship. the bottom line is be free and let go of your fears and cease the moments or let your juices flow!

[EvilEvilKitten]

Please remember that YOUR self-confidence, YOUR ego, is YOUR problem to solve. You cannot expect other people to do the work of acquiring self-confidence for you. It requires courage and persipicacity both of which you acquire while doing the work of building self-confidence - the one leading to the others.

1. talk to people, just ask an open-ended question and listen to the answer
2. realise that most people do not bite
3. whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger
4. get into the habit of making wise descisions by considering consequences
5. keep a firm grip upon your emotions

Just because you're shy, timid or just because you get angry, feel slighted, whatever - is NOT enough to excuse being stupid. Crying on his/her shoulder or yelling back at perceived slights is not going to get you where you want to be. You have to gain the perspective that comes with a thick skin.

Just like riding a bike - you skin your knees a lot in the beginning but after that - its all good.

[RamonDecastro]

Hi..

I am completely agree with you. Self-Confidence is a mental and emotional state of mind that responds to an individual's need for self-acceptance and recognition. It is among the oldest and most discussed concepts in psychology. It describes a positive but nonetheless adequate perception of oneself and one's abilities. As such, people with self confidence most often have a better idea of the things they are able to achieve and are more apt to succeed in what they attempt. They are also more likely to admit and learn from their errors.

By contrast, a lack of confidence may prevent you from trusting that what you do and decide will eventually work out the way you had intended. It can thus impede the improvement of decision-making aptitudes, strategic and managerial abilities all of which are basic and indispensable skills in the business world of today. The pre-occupation with other people's judgment of your work might also make you become excessively self-critical, which is something that will distract you from tasks you would have otherwise been perfectly capable of doing.

Low self confidence will also have an impact your social life, because people with a low level of self confidence tend to stay in their "comfort zone" and are afraid of being rejected. This is called social phobia and is commonly associated with low self confidence, but also other mental conditions such as depression. People with low self confidence are scared of the judgment of others and will avoid meeting new people, which can in turn lead to isolation and even less self confidence. Low self confidence is a vicious cycle that's difficult to break.

On the other hand, because they have faith in their own abilities, people with self confidence are able to do what they feel is appropriate and don't expect the approval of their peers. They are also able to trigger confidence: your relatives, friends, boss, customers or employees are more likely to trust you or the things you are saying when you appear self-confident.

Various experiences can contribute to low self confidence. Recent research proves that parenting style has a critical effect on the development of a child's self confidence. Physical and emotional abuses during childhood are for example the worse for somebody's self confidence, along with divorce and family conflicts. Overprotective parents may also be a reason for a child's social phobia and discourage the independence necessary to develop self confidence. Successes and failures, for example at school or in one's professional life, also play a major role: losing a job or failing a class are some of the different experiences that will have a negative impact your self confidence.

There are however methods to overcome those bad experiences and acquire self confidence. The first step to develop self confidence is to learn to know yourself and what your strengths are. Acknowledging the fact that you cannot be perfect and cannot be the best in everything you do will help you build self confidence. Accepting who you are is the key to building self confidence. But improving self confidence also requires that you start taking risks and giving yourself credit for your accomplishments. This is very basic advice which will help you build self confidence. You may also find a lot of books which will tell you how to gain self confidence, however many of them are not reliable.

Many people suffer from low self confidence or are only able to gain self confidence in one or a certain number of areas of their lives because they constantly try to get other people's approval and are scared that they could fail. A lot of factors, such as childhood traumas, can explain why certain people are not able to have the wholesome life of a self confident individual. Those people also do not always know how to gain self confidence. But improving self confidence can now easily and effectively be done with hypnosis and NLP.

As we have seen before social phobia and low self confidence can stem from bad experiences or unconscious fears that are sometimes difficult to overcome with self persuasion only. Confidence hypnosis and NLP on the contrary are able to get to the unconscious part of our brain and change belief systems to boost self confidence. They are powerful tools that will help you face your fears and believe in yourself to develop self confidence.

Self Hypnosis for building self-confidence has been used for decades and has shown significant results in building self confidence. Once in a hypnotic state, accessing unconscious thoughts is a lot easier and, thanks to hypnotic suggestion, it is possible to replace your negative thought patterns with positive ones to boost self confidence.


Thanks & Regards
Ramon Decastro


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