Losing Control...Any Advice?

[Ducy]

Okay, so here is the thing. I feel like I am losing control of everything, and losing everything I hold dear. My best friend hates me cuz of my stupid cousin. My friend r, she is moving in with her sister in law down in florida (across the country for me). R's boyfriend (another friend of mine) is going to join the air force since she is moving. Then my two friends J and A are in the military and they are both going to be going to iraq soon.

These are all the people in my life who I hang out with and they are either leaving or will be gone within two months. I honestly have no idea what to do. I mean everything is outa control, not only are my friends leaving so is my sanity. My orientation is all fucked up after watching the movie "Eating Out" which has basically left me confused, and tomorrow (err today technically) I am going to have to take my dog to be put down. We have had him since I was 9 so its like . I got jumped last week, some guys at a park near my friends house beat the crap out of me, and I have been drinking (which is something I have only just started doing) like almost every day.

I just dont know what to do. I have nobody to really talk to (sure I know there are numbers and I can always post on some internet site) but I dont have anyone who I can really talk to face to face.

[sera300]

Ducy;

First stop the alcohol...you know better...the rest is, honestly part of life which we do have to cope with at times. It's not a good time but it's the test of inner strength, there are circles of influence (things whee we can change the outcomes to a degree) & circles of control [areas where we have direct influence over] these circles of control are your action & reactions to situations. The circles of influence are only how others react to us--we are responsible for how we act & they are responsible for their actions/reactions, we only have influence. Now, as to the dog...this is where yes, there is control..you can choose not to do it; however, through doing this you minimize another's agony [your control]. Been through this many, many times & with each I have been with them, and they went to sleep in my arms. I see it as a way God allows us to open out hearts & home for another pet when one is at the end of life. You have to see how many great years of unselfish love your pup gave you & now what he/she needs from you to say goodbye and to be at peace.

Now read your pm..and call.

[smallestoftheclan]

Ducy

I am sorry to hear that you have to put down your dog. I had to do that a few years ago to the last cat I had. It is very hard, also had several dogs while growing up and two other cats that I had as an adult that either had to be put down or passed away more naturally. Know that there are people who's thoughts are with you during this time.
And yes like Sera said "STOP THE ALCOHOL", all it does is numb those feelings and once you are sober they all come rushing back. Staying sober will allow you to work thru all this much quicker. Losing someone, pet or human, you love is hard. Try and remember all the good times and know that they truly never leave you.
As for your friends leaving to serve our country, make sure you know how to keep in touch. And they know how to keep in touch with you! Imagine how happy they will be if they are able to receive a box of goodies around the holidays to remind them of home. And to get letters filling them in on all the stuff going on at home. They will treasure these, and knowing this should let you feel that you too are doing something.
They may not be able to write as often as you, but know that each letter they receive will make them happy, feel lucky to have you as a great friend and closer to home. So you can't get upset if you don't get letters from them, know in your heart that they are thinking about you.
As for your friend moving to Florida. As we all grow up we find ourselves having more and more friends move away. I've lived here in Michigan, Colorado, Ohio and New York. I have friends in all these states and more. A good friend lives in California, another in New Hampshire, plus there are some in Illinois, Florida, Georgia, Oregon, Washington ect ect ect. Lots of places for me to go visit, and yes there is the family in Ontario and British Columbia Canada.
I'm not sure if there is a place to go and speak to someone near you? Check with the military, maybe there is a support group for friends and family of those that have joined the military and have been sent to Iraq or some other type of deployment. And of course there is us. As my dad told me "keep your chin up".

[lnt1103]

Me three on the stop the alcohol sentiment. It keeps you from processing the feelings you're having, so they're still there rearing their heads just as fiercely as ever when you sober up. Talk to people you care about and who care about you. It doesn't have to be face to face. Just make contact.

[sera300]

Ducy:

Why have you not checked in? I am concerned.

[EvilEvilKitten]

The problem with drinking is that it STOPS one's emotional maturation dead. If you're not drinking to celebrate, you have no business drinking at all.

Next, yes friends come and go and move around but - HEY there's the Internet - email, universal world wide texting and phone calls. There's no reason why you cannot keep in touch.

You could even break down and *gasp* write them a letter!!!!

Next - there's nothing stopping you from making NEW friends!


Sorry about your dog, Painful having to say goodbye. Hugs, Ducy.

Now get back here and give us an update!