Am I Wrong?

[Ducy]

OKay so...

My girlfriend has a friend from work. Named Mr X lol. Anyways, my girlfriends coworker (who she dated for a bit and is bi as well) is celebrating her 19th birthday. And mr X wanted her to go. Well my girlfriend refused so he went and wrote on her schedule that she needed saturday off, and now she pretty much has no excuse. Mr X refuses to believe that there is such thing as Bi and knows that my girlfriend isnt really cool around her (and me as well) and yet he still takes her, and then makes it a point to tell me. (posting and sending messages saying how he is "SOOOO EXCITED cuz summer is going with him to this girls party" and made sure to let me know she was going.

I was uncomfortable because its basically exes hanging out and I mean I dont hang with my ex.

So then, he tells her that he is taking her to sadies as well because he has some "girlfriends"who he wants her to meet. And he continues to post messages saying how they are going to sadies, and has comments from these female friends saying oh i cant wait to meet her is she cute. My girlfriend says there isnt anything wrong and that I can trust her, but I am still kinda uncomfortable with this, and a bit frustrated as well. (I had some surprises in store for that weekend, because it would be the first time we would have time to ourselves, for the first time in about 2 weeks, but now pretty much 3 weeks to a month)

I told a mutual friend of ours and she was just like oh your just jealous and being stupid...Am I really? I mean its not common practice for me to take my friends girlfriends to dances and stuff (even as friends)

[oedipussy]

I have no idea what this story is about, but YES, you are very much wrong...

Perhaps you should go to the store, buy one of those large dog cages, and lock your girlfriend in it to make sure she doesn't do anything that makes you "uncomfortable". And then you could go and get "Property of Ducy" tattooed on her forehead... Yep, that's my advice.

[xkatex]

I have to agree with Oedi but I do understand where you are coming from. It may not be the same situation but my BF and close with most of his ex's. They text him occasionally. He may get the random e-mail from them but thats about it. And myself I would claim to be a very jealous individual its just the way I am even if I dont mean to be so you can imagine how I feel when anything to do with the ex's takes place.

Now I understand your discomfort as well. My BF's ex had just moved to a town she knew no one in and she had 2 dogs and a cat. She had to get her appartment fumagated and had no where to put her pets. So she called up my BF and asked him if he could go help her out. He told me about it and reassured me everything would be ok.

I trust him but not her for good reasons but they are irrelevant to the point im going to try to make. See I told him exactly why it bugged me simple "she is your ex and she has the tendancy of sleeping around regardless of the known consequences". Meaning she'll have sex with anyone regardless if they are dating/marriage/anything like that. Then before he left he told me he'll text me when he gets the chance...and he ended up texting me through out the day and even called me on their way to lunch (she was paying and he loves food lol).

When I told him why it bugged me I made sure to keep myself calm cause I do trust him and if you start to "freak out" at your GF she will see it as insecurity or you smothering her.
Just let her know your side of the story but think about what your going to say and how to word it. And keep yourself calm and dont look bothered by the fact she is doing something that makes you uncomfortable.

If she cares she will understand your point but dont tell her what she can and cannot do.

[Ducy]

Oed Im not saying that I dont want her to do anything but its like the way this kid is carrying on about everything. I told her i was fine with her going. I mean she knows Im uncomfortable but its her life to live. Its just kinda erking me the way he is acting about it all. like yea collin she going to go with me to sadies and meet some of my "friends" and stuff.

And I am calm I mean I've accepted if its not meant to be its not.

[Massdebator]

I think it might be different if her ex was opening trying to break the two of you up (That definitely happened to me, and in that case I insisted that my girlfriend sever ties with the loser), but in this case I don't see the harm. However, I would probably be just as uncomfortable about it as you are, simply because of Mr. X's shady behavior. Based on the way you are writing it out, it seems that he may be doing this to spite you, but I don't know. Maybe he just doesn't realize that he's making you uncomfortable and happens to be a nice guy after all.

At this point, I'd just try to relax. You gotta trust the ones ya love. Heck, maybe something good will come out of this whole thing.

[Ducy]

Yea thats true. And he knows that this the girl makes both me and Girlfriend uncomfortable which is why this bugs me

[gorgeous_mistake]

Ducy if your girlfriend really didn't want to go.. she wouldn't. It's not like he's holding a gun to her head. Him changing her schedule is pretty freaky to me.. almost stalkerish.

It sounds like he's expecting her to mess around with some chicks, is that mainly what bothers you?

About Jealousy this is what EvilEvilKitten says

Jealous and or possessive means you are a LOSER, not just a brat, but an all out LOSER.

You fear competition, you fear losing this person to another, you fear learning that you may not be "all that". If you fear something, then that something has already defeated you even before the contest begins. Fear cripples. Fear distorts. Fear controls.

So are YOU going to run your life or are you going to permit FEAR to run your life?

Either stand up and grow up or go back home and hide behind your mother.

EvilEvilKitten.Help! I'm a jealous freak.2/28/2008.

[Ducy]

OKay just to clarify this...Im not jealous. And Im not trying to be possessive. I told her if she wants to go that she could, cuz its her life.

Im just seeing a lot of stuff that makes me uncomfortable (not jealous) just uncomfortable. For instance:

He was chill with her when she thought she was gay. And then when she said sorry Im not Im bi and we're (me and her) together, he stopped talking to her for a while and when she would try to make conversation he was just rude. And then one day when my girlfriend, him and her ex were working together he was trying to get them to talk and was like hey lets all hang after work(knowing that my girlfriend doesnt like this girl). I mean he had a beach party next weekend and was trying to convince her to come with him (rather than go to the river (laughlin) with me) and got mad when she said no.

[Massdebator]

Maybe he is up to something, but I think that you should trust your girlfriend's judgment and see what happens. I get the impression that she's fairly capable and will know better than to continue any kind of friendship with the guy if he tries to pull something this weekend. I think Mr. X is just jealous of you.
One scenario is what Gorgeous said: he wants to see some "hot lez action". Another is that he is purposefully putting you into a position that will cause you to flip, harming your relationship with your gf. Still keep in mind the possibility that this guy might simply be socially awkward and completely harmless.
You've already expressed your concerns to your gf, in that Mr. X might have alterior motives, but you really can't do anything else until the situation develops further. The fact of the matter is, sometimes being a nice, valiant or honorable guy, puts you at a disadvantage in these kinds of situations. Though, I'm sure that acting justly will be ultimately more rewarding.

[sera300]

Ducy:

Let her handle it and just back off. Do not come between her & a friend regardless of his intentions since you will loose. B/f's always go out the door first...let her deal with it. And whatever happens so be it; you go out for the night w/your friends. Do not call her either or answer hers for that night. Why? You both are going to start thinking strange things of the other. Talk the next day...