Living my life - In need of guidance

[Knight]

I do not know if anyone can help me on this but I will throw it out there anyways...

My problem, in a nut shell, is that I do not know how to live my life. I do not know what I am suppose to be doing with myself, that I feel like I am suppose to be doing SOMETHING (very abstract I know) but I do not know what it is. I feel like I don't know what my purpose is here, I want to be doing something fulfilling, something important and yet I just feel like I am just going through the motions and wasting time.

I suppose it stems from the fact that in elementary/high school/CEGEP education (I am 20 btw) that everyone's life follows a linear path, your purpose is to follow all the grade levels. Essentially what you need to do with yourself is dictated by someone else during those years. Now I am no longer in that system (graduated) and I don't know what path to follow after always having the direction dictated to me. It's kind of like in my signature (below), though in a different context; that you suddenly have every option open to you and yet with that magnitude of options you don't know what choice to make. It becomes as if you do not have any option at all.

The thing is, I only get one shot at this, whether you believe in afterlife or reincarnation or not, for me this life is the chance you have to exist. In that, I feel like I am wasting my one time shot at existence over my indecisiveness. I am spinning my wheels but not going anywhere. Added to this is my character, I am not a risk taker, my belief is "better safe than sorry". Now that is all well and good for certain choices to make but it poses a problem for managing your entire life. With this I feel like I am missing out on something, doing things that can be fulfilling or fun because I am afraid of what bad can happen. I am living in a little bubble of all the things that I know, my personal universe. Its safe, I know what is in it but I am not living life like this. I am preserving myself for I don't know what and time is just going by. I don't want to end up at the end of my life with tons of regrets because I was too afraid to do something.

I look at some people and I see what they do and I think to myself :I wish I was like them, I wish I had their friends, their jobs, their hobbies, their courage and nerve to LIVE life as it should and not just coasting by accomplishing nothing (like what I am doing now). Now I have friends and hobbies but I feel that everything I do is not fulfilling, that I am not doing what I SHOULD. I know there is repetition in what I am feeling and writing but it just goes like that in a continuing cycle.

Now, I am in university and studying mechanical engineering but I am not even sure if I want to stay. At this point in my life there are so many things I can learn, so many career paths to choose from and different things I can do. I also have many interests so I don't even know which one to pursue. What if I am making the wrong choice and studying the wrong thing? That this is 4-5 years of education and money wasted, and I can't get it back. I keep asking myself the question: how can I make a choice without knowing the outcome? Now i know that such a question is completely absurd and yet it is a factor in my decision making (cycling back to feeling safe than sorry and not taking risks).

So I will end this here, though I could write tons more. By now I have probably lost most of my readers because of the shear length of this post but I needed to open up about this. I don't know what anyone can do for me but maybe if you have gone through similar trials you can give me advice on how you went through it. I am sure a counselor is needed and I can go to one when the fall semester starts but it feels pointless. I have been before (for something else) and the main thing is that the answer lies inside yourself, but the thing is if I had the answer all along I would not be having these questions in the first place.

[Brandye]

By the age of forty, about half of all university graduates are doing something other than what they studied for. You ARE asking the question. More wisdom will come.

[Knight]

So I just wait? See what happens with the university thing? What if it is the wrong choice? How do I fix it? I do not have the unlimited funds to just sample every university program that I might like (assuming university is the right place for me).

I know these are questions no one can answer and I don't mean any disrespect, but I am just frustrated that I can't find a direction, time is a wasting and I am accomplishing nothing. I don't want to be one of those folks who needs some sort of terrible event to occur in order for them to start living life to the fullest, living everyday as if it could be their last.

But perhaps waiting (for university) is the only available or effective option thus far.

If anyone has more insight into the things that I have brought up in the main post please share.

[Tallman]

Most people go through this at some stage i know i did, the answer? Well there isnt really one. Quite honestly you can do whatever you want but you need to be able to decide to do it, if it meant financial problems could you cope? If it meant dissappointing people would that affect you?

The academic/career choices are never set in stone, you can always learn if you are willing to try but youll never know if a career is for you until you actually do it in the real world because let me tell you this uni and real work are very different beasts.

As for the social side again its up to you, if you want the large group of friends then get out there and do things to get them. If you have hobbies and interests persue them and narrow down which gives you the most enjoyment.

The main thing is to be happy with yourself, if you're happy to try no matter what the outcome then you'll do ok.

[Sustayned]

Your academia will never be wasted. Think of it this way; if you went the distance and got your degree, in particular that degree, you'd most certainly have enough funds to study something else.

As was said above, many people do not wind up in the field they studied for. I have a friend that got his degree as a Civil Engineer. He worked at that for about seven months, then became a liason between one of the larger developers here in Southern California, and the city of Irvine.

From there, he went to work for an even larger developer and now is like the number two man in that multi-billion dollar corporation. Doesn't even come close to what he studied. But he most certainly does not regret it.

My daughter graduated dean's list with a BS in Mathematics. From there started on her masters so she could get started on a doctorate degree so she could become a math professor.

But on the way to her goal, she went to work for the leading RV manufacturer in the country doing trend analysis work. Corporate office, people work under her and she was still only 25. Again, she wouldn't give up her math degree for anything. But she doesn't work in mathematics much anymore.

I always look at everything in life (choices) like this: What's the worst case scenario? If I don't like the answer, I don't choose it. But if it's survivable, go for it. You'll do okay.

Indecision is so common at your age. That is exactly why the Reverend Sun Myung Moon would recruit from college campuses. He would get 'em when they didn't know what they wanted to do. Indecision is a ripe field for brain conditioning.

Relax, as you go along, you'll see nothing is concrete, even if you try to make it that way. Change will always be right behind you tapping you on the shoulder. Embrace it. That's what makes life so much fun.

And if you put your heart into it, it's never wasted...no matter what.

[sera300]

Hold off for a semester on completing your degree...give it time. I have more degrees, enough to paper a wall in different areas. It took some real soul searching to find out what I wanted to be when I grew up...it painstakingly clear at 40+. I have changed occupations to give it a shot, nothing wrong with it. You can complete an engineering degree then get a master's in another area later on. But you are narrow in choices with an engineering degree. Wait, take a semester off and search for the answer, been there & done that.

[Knight]

Well thank you all for your responses, it really means a lot to me. I suppose I will have to adjust my rigid nature over time so I can see the bright side of things and enjoy life a bit more. I will most probably refer to your posts again when I need a source of inspiration. Thanks again.

[HardNgood]

You can approach life with this...I can be an oak tree,,,or I can be a palm tree..figure out which one applies best to life..

[-wittyphrasehere-]

Originally Posted by Knight

So I just wait? See what happens with the university thing? What if it is the wrong choice? How do I fix it? I do not have the unlimited funds to just sample every university program that I might like (assuming university is the right place for me).

I know these are questions no one can answer and I don't mean any disrespect, but I am just frustrated that I can't find a direction, time is a wasting and I am accomplishing nothing. I don't want to be one of those folks who needs some sort of terrible event to occur in order for them to start living life to the fullest, living everyday as if it could be their last.

But perhaps waiting (for university) is the only available or effective option thus far.

If anyone has more insight into the things that I have brought up in the main post please share.

We're similar in that aspect.
I'm also going to school and don't know what to really go for.
Thing is, you can plan out your life all you like and it'll never turn out that way.
And yeah, it's easy to try to play it safe and keep every move forward calm and calculated, but I take it you lack experience.
You just got to live life. You gotta get out and experience, learn, grow. Making mistakes are part of it, as is learning from them. Granted it's good to try to avoid them, but if you don't know how, then just go straight in and learn from it. If you don't like engineering, then do a bit of soul searching and find a field you probably will like. There will probably be many opportunities to explore this crazy world as you go through school, just soak it all in.

[-wittyphrasehere-]

I take it non-senior members have to ask a mod to start a topic under GD, huh?