Fantasy vs reality

[questing4answers]

I am very confused and wonder if anyone out there has an answer. I am a Christian and legal professional, have three kids and have only been with one man in my entire life, which is my husband. I found out he cheated on me and since then I have been having fantasies about other men and sometimes about two men at one time. Has anyone out there dealt with having fantasies? I feel I am wrong to have them, but they keep getting stronger and more frequent. Only one person I know knows about this problem and she feels it might go away in time. I must have a clean reputation for personal and professional reasons. I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I have never been unfaithful to my husband; so what do I do.

Please let me know if you have any realistic suggestions.

[sera300]

First I hope you have found ways to work through you marriage. On to your question; despite these fantasies being new to you, perhaps the lack of trust in your spouse is; manifesting itself to having thoughts of other men? Two at a time; it may be different for you at this time in life but fantasies are normal. If I had to guess, I would say you have displaced your sexual attraction (from your husband) to a ficticious stranger (s) who cannot hurt you. Or you are thinking along lines of what it may be like if you went out of your marriage as your spouse did but you are fantasizing only.

Given what you have written; l keep them in your mind...don't bring them to reality at this time. But a fantasy is perfectly normal, and so is two men!!!

[questing4answers]

Thank you for getting back to me. I have never had fantasies like this so did not know if others did. You make alot of sense in what you said may be causing me to think like this. I do not know if my 18 year marriage will survive yet, but we are trying to salvage it for our sakes, as well as for our childrens sake.

[SexySass69]

I think that you're feeling an internal conflict about a combination of aspects such as your recent marital problems, your dedication to your faith, and some type of latent sexual fantasy.

Try talking to a counselor who may be able to help you through it.

[sera300]

Fantasy is many times an effective coping mechanism when there are increased stressors, similar to daydreaming. It's the minds way of escaping reality. It only becomes problematic when an individual can not distinguish reality from fantasy (not saying this is you); fantasy and daydreaming is healthy.