Fighting her ex - Wow... hate this situation i am in!

[Redrider557]

Okay well, i have been goning with my girl friend for 3 months and been talking to her for 5 more than a friend. The guy she went out with before me cheated on her and treated her like ****....... She eventually dumped him... Durning my schools gym night (spirit night) we both were in it and she started to like me and she gave me her phone number... Jump ahead a lil bit..

I asked her out on 6/7/06 and we have been happy togather since then...

Well my problem is Im starting to hear "rumors" that seem very likely, that this guy wants to fight me... because i go out with my girlfriend.... WTF? he was a douche and cheated on her more than once and wants to fight me ..... o and i guess it is good to point out that i am 6' 180 lbs and the guy is 5'11" close to 200-220 and does steroids... at the end of last year he got kicked out of school for fighting His girlfriend (note: this is not my girlfriend) and he fought a secruity gaurd that is 6'2" 250 lbs built like a brick **** house (the only reason he is in my school this year even though he was kciked out last year is beacuse he got held back and needed to do work to become a senior then he will go to a school in the area).... and that fight was pretty even........ Wow i was in two fights my entire life with the same kid... you could say im not expereinced AT ALL....

I would be destroyed not because im not physicaly fit but there is no way that this fight would be even feather weight (not really) vs. super heavy weight .... What im mad about is this dude.... ruined everything he had with my wonderful girl friend...... she didn't leave him for me .... she didn't cheat on him with me ..... i didn't even know my girlfriend when they went out..... so im asking why does guys like that have to try to prove somthing? ......I wouldn't mind fighting him jus because he was such a d+ck to my girlfriend.... But i don't start anything with people and would But also i wouldn't win....

Idk i jus needed to talk about this.... and i really don't kno what to do... cuz the rumor says hes going to jump me.....AWESOME ......

But any replies will help

thanks for everything!

Jon

[dancingdoc2]

Well, Jon, let me answer this post, first.

Even people well trained in the marshall arts will try to avoid a fight or walk away. Fighting is a last resort. If it comes to that and you are not a great fighter there are two places to aim for and the gonads are not one of them. The first is the nose and the second is an eye. If you take the heel of your hand and jam it up against the nostrals you will stop him dead in his tracks. You can do this from any position even flat on your back. The same goes for the eyes. Just aim a finger for one or both. The reason I do not recommend going for the balls is because you don't always know where they are. It all depends upon the underware he is wearing. If you miss you'll just make him madder.

Rather than fight, get some pepper spray and keep it with you in a pocket. I like the idea of the pepper spray because you do not have to be in physical contact with the person; whereas with a Tazer type HV shocker you do. You will probably have plenty of warning when you meet that he is going to take a swing at you. You should have enough time to reach in your pocket and let him have a blast should he initiate any hostilities. Do not show it to him or threaten him with it in advance. If push comes to shove, just surprise him.

Lastly, if you do not want to learn one of the marshall arts, you may find a school that teaches people just enough to defend themselves. Many schools have these classes so that women can defend themselves from an abusive husband or boyfriend. You may want to investigate this resource.

[WallyLlama]

Bear in mind it is a rumor. The difficulty is in knowing how seriously to take the rumor and that's one reason it's hard to know what to do.

There are probably a dozen reasons and places this rumor might have started and some of them don't even include him. Based on his history, it makes sense to be concerned certainly. You can't become an instant expert on defending yourself and, to some extent, shouldn't have to.

I'm not sure how much good it would do, but most schools take "bullying" and threats of violence seriously. But seeking official help raises the same issue -- how much credibility to give rumors. In addition, it could simply heighten the tension. I'd still suggest you speak with someone you trust and give them an honest appraisal of the situation.

Attitude is going to be important. You'll want to show a certain amount of "non-chalance" about this on the surface. Fear will get you viewed as a victim; false courage will potentially increase the fighting mentality on his part if he feels challenged.

I disagree with DD on the pepper spray or Tazer. For one thing, I suspect you'll be in a world of trouble if you are caught carrying it on school grounds and it may, in fact, be illegal to possess either or both in your municipality.

The larger question is less easy to answer... "experts" have long studied why some people seem to resort to violence. One bit of truth I would offer is that every dictator needs an enemy. In otherwords, some people need an enemy to maintain their power and control. This is why I suggest you act somewhat nonchalant. In so doing you become a non-contributor to his power.

It would also make sense to develop "situational awareness" and use your head... stay out of situations and places that make you vulnerable. Think of it as walking tall with you head up, but still not stepping in poop. You do that by looking ahead, not down.

Why not keep us posted here?

[Brandye]

Is this worth posting twice?

[Redrider557]

brandye when i was typing this, my computer lagged alot and i double posted by simply clicking the single post button.... on that note is there anyway to delete a post? ...... On the update with the situation i always figured it was a far fetched rumor but ....as in i herd it from my friends girl friend through That friend... he told me she over herd him talking about me on the bus ride home on her bus... hearing this about this person makes me not jus think nothing of it. On the note of if i would be in a confrontation with this person.... My basic boxing skills are.... eh... decent im good with speed bag and my stamina is alright but boxing and getting jumped are not closely related. The way he would come at me is with some type of cheap shot and end up trying to tackle me and take me down.

This wouldn't have anything to do with abilites and skill in fighting when overall the person is almost twice my strength thats only what worries me.
I guess i made me seem pretty like..... helpless when i could at least stand my ground for a lil.

reasons why i would worrie about this:

He was expleded (sp? lol) last year and is leaving soon (tomorrow) to go to a school in the area

In him leaving he really has nothing to lose he is alrdy kicked out.

He hit his girlfriend before....I think if the rumor is true then he would do somthing to me

Worried about if he would do anything to my girlfriend (on this i would like to have the situation solved, i don't want that to happen)

I mean if you look at my profile and see the link to (yea i kno whore) myspace lol you can see that im not totally helpless.

[WallyLlama]

It's still a rumor.

It isn't true that he has "nothing to lose."

The fact that he's hit others doesn't guarantee he's going to attack you.

He leaves the area today?

[Redrider557]

Yes... From what i know he isn;t going to may school anymore and there wasn't a confrontation but really thats because i havent seem him this last 2 days.

For now it turned out fine... But I going to still watch my back when hes around out side of school. (thats if i see him)

And yes there was no 100% chance of him actually doing anything... I always thought that nothing was going to happen... But like i said things like this happen ALOT in my school. I got to Harry S truman high school... Thats really ill i need to say if anyone has herd of them... they have been in country news a couple times and local news alot ....for negative reasons.

U might remeber seeing it in the aol welcome screen.

[Browser]

I've pissed off my fare share of people during my life, and there was a time back in high school where there was a plan to jump me. Make sure you have a few good friends who you can trust to watch your back and you'll probably be fine. Avoid fights at all costs, and do not carry weaponry. Weapons will serve only to escalate the conflict.

Ever thought of taking up track? It may sting your pride to run, but if you are ambushed, running is your best choice.

Originally Posted by Redrider557

and he fought a secruity gaurd that is 6'2" 250 lbs built like a brick **** house (the only reason he is in my school this year even though he was kciked out last year is beacuse he got held back and needed to do work to become a senior then he will go to a school in the area).... and that fight was pretty even........

This is unrelated, but I'm curious: what kind of security guards does your school employ? I remember two kids attacked a gym coach in my junior high and ended up out cold for their troubles.

[Redrider557]

Yes, i dont nor i wouldn't carry a weapon around with me....

I play lacrosse and im on defense.. i mean im not a twerp or a wimp.. but the kid that was starting stuff fought a secruity gaurd in my school.... The most physicaly fit won we had at the time. It was a pretty much even fight... I was there for it, it wasn't like i herd it through 10 people. I was present.

Now the whole thing really blew over and nothing happened.... I always have my good friends watching my back since this rumor went around... and either the kid didn't want to fight me in the first place and was just talking or Having a good connecction with people made him think twice about doing anything....

thanks for everything

Jon

[Browser]

Glad to hear it.