B/f doesnt cum - Why does this always happen?

[babe]

Every time I have sex with my boyfriend he never comes, he only comes if I give him a blow job. I do know that he jerks off (I know all men do). Could this be because he jerks off alot? My vagina is tight I dont think it's so open. I want him to have pleasure out of having sex not just oral sex. What do I do? Sometimes I feel that maybe it's me, maybe I don't know how to pleasure him enough so he can cum.

[dancingdoc2]

Some thoughts:

If he is of the (mistaken) opinion that the purpose of intercourse and stroking forever is to build his level of ardor and peak his level of arousal then he absolutely going about this all wrong. This is the purpose of all the necking, petting, and foreplay that the two of you should be doing for no less than half an hour and longer within reason if time permits.

If you are trying to bring him to an orgasm by hand and/or mouth, then unless you are correctly mimicing the technique he uses and relies upon when alone, then you have only a 50/50 chance of getting it right. Have him demonstrate how he masturbates and then have him take your hand, guiding it with his several times until you learn what to do.

Not every sexual position is easy for a guy to get off. Some are easier than others so try different positions and variations to each theme.

[Cleveland]

It's probably just a psychological response. Don't make an issue out of it. At some point he will be in you and it will just happen.

[dancingdoc2]

You also asked if his frequent masturbation could be causing his difficulty. The answer is "perhaps", not "yes", and not "no". It is not uncommon that when a guy masturbates often, or goes for multiple orgasms in one session, that one or more of the subsequent orgasms will be more difficult to trigger. If this happens to be true for him then the solution would seem to be for him to hold off for several hours or at least a day. Doing so is always going to be a tradeoff for us between enjoying lots of pleasure vs. tolerating a certain increased buildup of daily stress and sexual tension. Finding a balance is somewhat predicated upon how he is wired, and how often the two of you get together, as well as for what is going on in his life to build stress and how much.

Regardless, before the two of you begin intercourse, make sure he is on the ragged edge of an orgasm yet not so close to the trigger point that he will loose control from any little bit of movement. Stroking will maintain that pre-existing high state of arousal; it is not the purpose of stroking to build it up from a low level.

[JackJP]

Also He could be so worried about getting you pregenet that he will not allow himself to relax and have an orgasium. You should talk to him about it and help figure out what works best for him and to ease any of his worries if he has any.

[moose_hd]

Originally Posted by Cleveland

It's probably just a psychological response. Don't make an issue out of it. At some point he will be in you and it will just happen.

Yes, I've read that all kinds of psychological issues (that he may not even be aware of) can cause lack of ejaculation, delayed ejaculation, premature ejaculation, etc.

Performance anxiety, underlying fears about pregnancy and more can cause this.

I think the main things is you should just focus on having him relax and enjoy what's happening. Whether he cums or not is immaterial. Once he realises he can just relax and enjoy himself, that's when cumming will happen.