Sex talk

[fire1041]

What is the general opinion of guys and girls when it comes to talking about your partners past sexual activities. I realise this is something everyone has delt with before and im wondering if they feel its positive or negative. Unless you married a virgin or are one yourself, you have a sexual history. Though some things are probibly best left unsaid, your history plays a key role in who you are now. Your experiences, good and bad, as well as your likes and dislikes. Does this type of sharing hurt or help a relationship. What are some boundries? I would never ask who had the biggest penis of all my wifes past lovers, but I am curious as to what role size has played in her pleasure.I myself am average and im sure she has had bigger . Im sure everyone has asked questions about things like "have you ever" and " what was the best/ worst" or "how was the first time". Any opinions on this, any bad experiences when talking about your past/ your partners past? Im the type of person that would rather hear from my partner than to have something droped in my lap by a slip from one of her friends.

[luv2lick]

I dont think you should worry too much...I know my GF has had bigger than me...she told me....But that doesn't matter...You shouldn't think about who else has been with her...you are with her now, and that's all that matters...life is too short to worry about some guys with a large penis that doesn't even know who you are...but yet you are going to wast your time worrying about this anonymous person...Relax man...enjoy your girl....

[fire1041]

The penis size was simply an example. The main topic was to talk about the past or not. Sorry if I seemed to be focused on past penis sizes.

[luv2lick]

Originally Posted by fire1041

The penis size was simply an example. The main topic was to talk about the past or not. Sorry if I seemed to be focused on past penis sizes.

Gotcha...but regardless, in my opinion the past is the past...If you are happy with her don't look for things to make yourslef upset about...I don't think you should worry about past lovers too much because obviously something went wrong or they'd still be together.....Just be happy with the fact that she's yours now and enjoy the time you spend with her because you never know how long it will last....Im not assuming you are obsessing over it, but I just think that its trivial and maybe you all have had a discussion about past lovers, but I don't think it should be dwelled upon.......and I know it sounds easy to just forget about it....But if you are having a hard time taking your mind off of what might pop up about a past lover, my suggestion would be to just ask her whatever is on your mind...get it out in the open....and then once you know, move on and then you focus on YOUR time with her...

[thetease13]

The past is the past.

My guy was my first. I know he's been with a bunch of other people before me. I personally don't care. The past is the past. I'm not going to ask. I'm sure he'd answer if I did ask, but I just don't care. I let it be.

[Browser]

We generally don't talk about it. Sometimes we tell funny stories, but they can be very awkward.

[WallyLlama]

I see very little to be gained by exploring the past... and most of the threads and posts here seem to bear that out. It perhaps seems easy to get curious... but the question that's most often not poised is "Why do I think I need to know...?"

Interesting... this thread sorta bears out the fact that a curiousity about a partner's past can often say more about the person who's interested. Look how the example became the issue! LOL

It's true that one's history plays a big role... but one's history includes more than just sexual activity... Do we ask our partners who gave them the best birthday present? What was the best date? Who was the richest?

Ultimately, our decisions over-ride our history every time. There's plenty of "who are you now" and "who are you becoming" to think about; not much point in wondering and worrying about how you got there.

[dancingdoc2]

Everyone so far has hit the mark right on.

As I have often said, history equates to knowledge, not experience. Everytime a new partnership is formed, there is a new "Square One", from which to begin and explore and learn about together. This is all that you have to be focused on, as is the fact that she is with YOU now, and out of choice.

If one or both of you have histories, then that will become evident in your new explorations. Like book knowledge, it is not necessarily necessary to divulge just how the information was obtained. It is only important that you have it. How you choose to integrate all that you have acquired in your present relationship depends upon the dynamics and interests of those involved. Enjoy the present, work on the future, and make the most of the time you share together.

[fire1041]

Thanks for all the replys. This really put things into perspective.