Why did you join this board?

[oberon]

And what do you get out of it?


Some recent happenings made me wonder about this. *And question why I keep coming back to this board. *Plus, it might be nice for people asking questions to understand the motivation behind the person giving the advice.

For myself, I joined because the board interested me and the people all seemed open-minded and caring. *There also seemed to be a niche for gay people here. *There were gay topics, but, with the exception of Rawbob, there didn't seem to be any other gay people willing to speak out. *I, personally, believe that the only way we can all learn to get along is to get to know each other. *If someone can ask me their questions maybe when they have to deal with gay people in "real life", they'll feel more knowledgeable and comfortable.

I've also answered more "straight" questions than I ever thought I would. *Some things seem universal. *I do tend to avoid topics where I don't feel I have anything to offer. *For instance, you won't hear from me in "Pleasing Her" very often. *And I don't venture into "STDs" because I feel if you have a concern there, you should see a doctor. *But it is amazing to me how many things straight people and gay people have in common if they only take the time to look.

For what I get out of this, well, I've learned some things. *I enjoy reading other people's opinions- even when I don't agree with them...lol. *It also provides some social outlet. *At the moment, I am taking care of a disabled parent and so "clubbing" and "dating" are few and far between. *It's nice to hear from people outside of doctors and nurses...lol. *

I also get some satisfaction out of thinking that I might actually help someone. *A lot of people don't think they know anyone who is gay or if they do are too embarrassed to ask them questions. *People here can ask me anything and I'll try to be as honest and open as I can. *If I can improve their relationship with a son or daughter, brother or sister, well, as Martha Stewart would say, "That's a good thing"....lol. *

I've also made quite a few mistakes in my life, and it would be nice if someone- besides me who learned it the hard way- got some use out of the experience. *

Anyway, I hope this doesn't come off condescending or full of self-importance. *I realize my advice may sometimes be faulty or downright wrong, but it does come from sincerity and a true desire to help. *And can be freely disregarded...lol.

[demonbuttercup]

i came here curious b/c i was still somewhat new to sex.
ive been here over a year and now im more experienced through life and through reading different posts on here.
i just try to give people help w/ either an opinion or from my own experience.
if its a post ive read before i try to redirect and link them to a previous one thats already been answered.
sometimes, i just do a google search lol, and find an answer.

i do enjoy this board and would like to think i have helped at least a few people along the way.
sometimes i can get a little b*tchy, only if its something i think somebody w/ common sense should know..etc. but i try not to be rude, lol. or maybe they catch me in a bad mood, i guess i should just refrain from posting then lol.
overall, ive really enjoyed this board

[thetease13]

I came here because when I joined, I was actually supposed to lose my virginity in the coming week...but it got put off till a couple months later. So I came looking for answers to questions I had (as well as bugged the hell out of my friends).
I found a lot of answers and that made me happy.
When I finally had sex the first time, more questions came up and I started asking around. People here were nice enough to help me.

I've learned a lot from the board members here and this site and I'd like to spread that knowledge.
People these days are very uneducated when it comes to sex and it's a shame. But if the only way they're going to get the answers they need is through a message board, then I'm going to help them as much as I can.
No, I'm not always right on the money but I still like to help even if it just sheds a little light on the subject and atleast someone is attempting to help them.

There are topics I know diddly squat about, such as birth control. The only thing I can do is lead people to the planned parent hood site for teens that lists all the BC methods and costs and side effects and what not. If they have a specific question such as how long they bleed, when do they do this or that or whatever, I'm very much going to let someone else help them.

I admit, some of the questions on here get on my nerves a bit (I mean really, how many topics can there possibly be on penis size?) and I attempt to ignore them as best as I can but I just like to help people. I don't think I have to or need to reply to every post on here because the world might come to an end of I don't or because I think I know everything... I just like to see people helped. *shrug*

[Tessie]

I found this board when I was looking for information that would explain to a young man friend of mine exactly how a man should go down on a woman.

Got excited when I saw this place had a message board and came on it. The only other boards I belong to are conservative Christian and I found this to be very liberating to be able to openly talk about sex and the issues I am having and to offer advice on a subject I feel I know something about. I also stayed because of the people. On my first post I was made to feel very welcomed.

Oberon, I don't know anyone gay and I have enjoyed many of your post. Including Rawbob, who I find to be a riot and wonder why he hasn't been on.

I have even met a couple of friends here, one who is becoming a very special part of my life. You know who you are. *

[LittleFury]

Hmmm, how should I explain this? LEmme try this way.
After I left my ex-fiance, who was my only partner, I was rather terrified of sex mainly becuase of how it was with him. AFter that, I was gonna be in a long distance relationship and was gonna go see the guy again in a few months, and we started talking about it, then I voiced my concerns, he found this site. While things with the ...putz... went bad, I still browsed the site. After I met my current bf, and we became intimate and we overcame the difficulty, I ventured into this board, started reading and figured out that maybe I could have been of some help. Thats why I still come ehre today. There are a lot of times I wish that I would have looked into this place earlier, that I would be able to talk to and get as good of the advice as I see here then I really needed it the most. I do learn every day from this board. And I just hope that maybe some people do learn from me. Sometimes, a person might come in with the same problem as I might have at the same time, and I'll just think, what would I tell that person, and I try to follow that. My bf encourages me to do that as well, or if I don't know the answer, to ask you guys. Aslo, wanting to be able to help people and do some work in marrige counseling might have soemthing to do with that.

[WallyLlama]

The simple answer might be that I came here to talk about sex. LOL

My motivation was not so terribly altrusitic and pure. I honestly joined primarily looking for fun with and among people who are open-minded, tolerant, and curious about the sexual aspect of their personality. The word "playful" comes to mind. It is part of my continuing quest to find a place where all are welcome and almost anything goes.

It happens that I enjoy solving problems, so some of the ones that are posted become an interesting challenge. Being helpful is not counter to my personality, either. But I don't enjoy being a guru and my ego doesn't need to post so I can read what I've said or see who will agree. My bias is that the answers and information aren't what matters the most. Usually the most important thing is figuring out what the right questions are.

I did not join because I have any causes or agendas to push.

What do I get out of it?

On the second point, my best day was when a very young girl posted that she'd decided to stop having sex and it seemed largely because of my posts to her thread. I enjoy the irony that someone who prides himself in his openmindedness and sense of adventure would be most pleased over someone NOT having sex. But the point is she decided to do what was right for herself, because it was right for her.

On the first point... well... let's just say that the strength of this board is not that it's a fun and sexually adventuresome place. That's actually not a criticism, it's more of an observation. That said, I have met some very special and exceptional people and have had some incredibly fun (yes, and erotic) times "off the board." ;-)

Wally

[Brandye]

I tripped over this site a couple years ago looking for information for patients. I am the only female physician for quite a distance in a rural area. As a result I have become the"" young woman's" doctor whether or not it is my specialty. Working with young women, I have become interested in their secure, safe, sexual development. So, I started participating.

Brandye's Chick Chat was to have been a forum for women but somehow did not draw interest. So I continue to participate on a random basis. There have been many pm discussions moved to email, especially with women who are bi-curious after they read my posts on being actively bi-sexual. I guess the board is an extension of my practice. Regrettably, I get a bit irritated with the young men who rush in with a question that has been answered so many times before because they will not read the rich golden posts.

Some of the people have been really neat and this can be a relaxing diversion.

[monie]

I initially joined this board out of boredom and curiosity. After reading some posts, I decided to post my own to get some help. Then I started answering others' posts, in hopes that I would be helping someone else in the meantime.
This board has helped me greatly with the biggest problem I have had in my relationship. I am very greatful for everyone's insight and advice.
I now come here often to help people and to answer some of my own questions. It is nice that nobody here judges each other. I like the openess of it all.
I will continue to come to this board. It is a great way to get advice, as well as to kill some time when Im bored

[Greendale]

The answer is simple, I come here for advice on improving sex and personal problems in relationships, things like that.

[Jaybee]

Oberon,

I'd like to say, as a very straight guy, I like gay friends. I've lost touch with them over the years - but they were good friends. After years of hanging around with macho jocks, gays are a refreshing change - a breath of intellectual, free-thinking air into a world of clod-headed testosterone.

The ones whose company I enjoy the most are the bohemian types, the ones who smoke Gauloises, sink red wine on Monday lunchtimes and know the words to most Steely Dan songs....



You probably already know zillions of straights who enjoy gay company, but I just thought I'd add my voice to the chorus, hope it's not getting repetitive..

JB.