Alright well here goes. I have been dating this girl for about 13 months now. We are both turn 20 this June. Now she was my first, but I was definately not hers. Anyways, I am STILL having problems w/ premature ejaculation. I definately think that its a psychological thing but I just don't know what to do about it. Its weird b/c once for like a week when school started back up in the fall I was able to last a "normal" 15 minutes or so. And when I was drunk I also never would have a problem w/ this either. I could have sex for a much longer time if that were the case but after partying my girlfriend would always be tired and just want to go to sleep. She said she was tired and enjoyed being intimate w/ me in the morning when she was sober and she enjoyed it more. Never the less, since Christmas things have gotten worse. It seems like I cum very quickly, no more than a minute or two after entry. Also, I even do this when I'm drunk now, which use to never happen. So now I am just incredibly frustrated and its hurting our relationship. It is always on my mind and I am just trying not to think about it (which of course isn't working) and now my girlfriend is complaining that it feels occward for her now b/c "I'm just not there." She of course tells me I am good in bed just to be nice. I have mentioned briefly trying this "Start, stop" technique w/ her but she doesn't seem to be too into it. Again w/ the occwardness. Also, she is always telling me how I'm really good at going down on her though and I have no problem doing. I enjoy doing it, as I can pleasure her this way which makes me feel good. But when I'm doing it, she always tells me to stop and pulls me up just as I can tell she is REALLY starting to enjoy it. Then she wants to have sex w/ me and I just end up cumming to soon and just get more frustrated. I ask her to just let me pleasure her orally until she has an orgasm but she won't let me. Whats the deal w/ that? So inconclusion...
1. I have a problem w/ cumming way too soon after over a year of having sex. I think its psychological. It probably has to do w/ that fact that in the back of my mind I am always comparing myself to those 10 or so (probably) other guys she has been w/. This compounds on itself to where I can't stop thinking about cumming too soon which inevitably leads to this happening. Any helpful advice w/ this?!!?! Its killing me!!
2. Why does she refuse to let me make her orgasm when I am going down on her, especially if I am having this problem during intercourse. It almost makes me feel she doesn't want me to make her orgasm.
Any advice or help would be MUCH appreciated. All I want to do is please the woman I love!! Thanks.
Thu, 04/08/2004 - 04:00
#1
Frustrated and confused
also, does it happen in every position?
i know if im on top my b/f can keep going and going but as soon as we switch to doggy, missionary, or anything w/ a deeper penetration then he can't last as long.
so maybe trying some different positions, her on top, might help.
and like wally said maybe its not bothering your g/f as much as you think. if she was feeling totally unsatisfied then why would she turn down the option for you to give her an orgasm orally?
maybe her doing that is her way of trying to help you i dunno?
i mentioned this idea in another post but what my b/f and i somtimes do is if im having "one of those days" where i just can't get off or that it takes me FOREVER!!!!
he'll be going and if he starts to get close or tired he'll use a dildo on me for a few minutes to keep me going and he can rest a minute. then when im getting close i tell him and he jumps back in to finish me off... which a dildo in no way feels as good as he does but you get the idea. doesn't necessarily have to be a dildo either, just use your fingers.
also, maybe she would be willing to use some sort of vibrator or something on her clit. you would be amazed how fast you can climax w/ penetration and a vibe on the clit. if im really worked up beforehand, i can cum in less than 5 minutes. sometimes like 2 minutes lol.
I'd say you've hit on part of the solution in your own #1. Stop comparing yourself to her other partners and stop thinking about cumming too soon. Relax.
And I might add, learn to relax without depending on alcohol. Go on the wagon. I'm not anti-drinking, but constant drinking will definitely screw up your body.
Reading between the lines... it sounds like your gf doesn't have a problem with things the way they are? (She doesn't want to do the start/stop thing... doesn't want you to bring her off orally... tells you you're great... I'm not sure what that all means, but if she's not going to work with you, it's gonna be hard to resolve this.
Wally
Go for seconds. The second time around usually takes longer to complete. There are creams to lessen the sensations to your penis. Even a condom will lessen the feelings that are getting you off. With new medications coming out all of the time you might find that your doctor can give you something to help with your problem.