[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;266797]A man is usually oral or tactile so the choice should be between manual or oral. Very few men are good at both. But that's mainly based upon my own experience. Your mileage may differ.[/QUOTE]
T's got both manual and oral. Damn, has he got both. :D:p
For one very simple reason: He pays attention to my response, based upon which, he responds. And then he takes mental note of those things and keeps them in his bag of tricks.
Which is really the ultimate key to all of it, for any of us, is it not? Rather than polling total strangers a world away for their opinions, in an attempt to decide which one or two methods to perfect.....try things, pay attention to how s/he responds, act accordingly, and remember for future reference.
From personal experience with my past gf's and hook ups, the general opinion has been the same...if you can move your tongue who cares how well you can move your hips? Although they did enjoy sex, if they could chose just one, about 90% said oral and hands were the way to go. One chose oral simply because "you can't get knocked up that way and it still feels good." I had a nice chuckle from that.
I agree with Ducy, without good oral, fingering, or something to really turn me on the sex just isn't as enjoyable. If you can do good at those and get me turned on it probably wouldn't matter how bad the sex is, I would enjoy it. And if the sex is truly that bad I would be more than happy to be on top.
> WOuld women prefer a bf that is great at oral sex and fingering and not sex
Why not phrase your question for a woman's response?
"and not 'sex'" as it equates to intercourse, well, what are the alternatives:
a. putting up with a scratchy face
b. using too much pressure
c. using a dry tongue
d. being too rough with his fingers
e. attempting to insert more than one finger w/o first testing the possibility
f. starting before she has been sufficiently aroused
g. stopping prematurely
h. exclusively using one or the other technique and not both in unison
> OR
> a bf that is great at sex and not oral sex/fingering?
Now, we have a "lover" who has little or no skill with foreplay who is now attempting intercourse with a woman who has not been sufficiently prepared....
___________
Bottom Line: Over the years that I have been contributing to this and previous sites, my goal has been to show others the importance of integration as it applies to developing skills for each phase of romance and love making--including "sex for sex sake". All too often young people, today, do not understand or see the value in the entire concept of what is termed "making love". From all of the questions posted during the month, it seems too much emphasis is placed on Foreplay {oral sex/fingering), rushing to have intercourse, all without first and foremost concentrating on the importance of preparing each other emotionally as well as physiological.
From Day One, right after a post pubescent boy begins masturbating he quickly develops a mechanical technique that he soon relies upon without much variety for the rest of his life. This technique gets right down to "the business at hand" without much thought or time devoted to increasing his physical arousal, such as caressing his torso, breasts, nipples, face, in preparation for what is to follow.
His method can become a problem when he joins forces with a female member of the species because he does not know about nor understand the differences in how females differ from males when it comes to sexual arousal and what is required. If he does not learn early on, he often will use what he knows about himself when it comes to making love to his partner. This means:
* no romance beginning hours before any physical activities
(setting the stage for what you would like to have happen
later, perhaps by sending a card, placing a note for later
discovery, whispering a hint in her ear before leaving, making
a short quick phone call just to say "hi" "I love you" "I'm thinkin'
about you and tonight", etc.)
* very little or no Necking, Petting, Heavy Petting, all before
reaching the Foreplay stage
+ Necking= kissing and caressing above the shoulders (Stage 1)
+ Petting= kissing and caressing below the shoulders while
remaining fully clothed (Stage 2)
+ Heavy Petting= All of the above while (partially) exposing
breasts. Genital play without exposure (Stage 3)
(Stages 1, 2, & 3, of a woman's level of arousal are also referred to as making it to first, second, or third base.)
+ Foreplay= oral stimulation and/or fingering of the genitals.
This and intercourse are often referred to colloquially as making a "Home Run".
(The term "Foreplay" is often incorrectly used to refer to all of the stages inclusively.)
* being heavy handed when handling his partner's pieces-parts
* not understanding the importance of devoting a lot of time to
each of the stages, and then not rushing to have an orgasm.
* selfishly only interested in his pleasure (getting his "rocks off")
as being more important than what he does for his partner.
(Making love is not what we do to each other; rather, what we do with and for each other in partnership.)
A lack of skill in one or more areas affects the others and the resulting outcome.
My answer to the o/p's questions is that it is more important to become skilled in all areas, not just one over the other. The sooner everybody understands how important integration is, the sooner a guy's chances of becoming a world class lover.
"So let it be said, so let it be done."
Excuse me but 'fingering' aka manual sex and 'oral' aka oral sex are in fact SEX. Just because they aren't vaginal intercourse is no reason to think they're not sex.
And that's usually not how men's skills break down anyway. A man is usually oral or tactile so the choice should be between manual or oral. Very few men are good at both. But that's mainly based upon my own experience. Your mileage may differ.
In my opinion, oral then manual then manual with oral are classified as the appetizer which had better be leading up to vaginal intercourse (if he wants to live) as the entree' but again, that's just me.
Please see the sticky post entitled The Program found elsewhere in this forum.
I honestly think oral sex plays a major role in the “love making” between two people. It’s the thing that kind of ties you both closer to each other; Just that bond of becoming one together it’s just so amazing! That is all…!!
[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;266797]A man is usually oral or tactile so the choice should be between manual or oral. Very few men are good at both. But that's mainly based upon my own experience. Your mileage may differ.[/QUOTE]
T's got both manual and oral. Damn, has he got both. :D:p
For one very simple reason: He pays attention to my response, based upon which, he responds. And then he takes mental note of those things and keeps them in his bag of tricks.
Which is really the ultimate key to all of it, for any of us, is it not? Rather than polling total strangers a world away for their opinions, in an attempt to decide which one or two methods to perfect.....try things, pay attention to how s/he responds, act accordingly, and remember for future reference.
From personal experience with my past gf's and hook ups, the general opinion has been the same...if you can move your tongue who cares how well you can move your hips? Although they did enjoy sex, if they could chose just one, about 90% said oral and hands were the way to go. One chose oral simply because "you can't get knocked up that way and it still feels good." I had a nice chuckle from that.
I agree with Ducy, without good oral, fingering, or something to really turn me on the sex just isn't as enjoyable. If you can do good at those and get me turned on it probably wouldn't matter how bad the sex is, I would enjoy it. And if the sex is truly that bad I would be more than happy to be on top.
> WOuld women prefer a bf that is great at oral sex and fingering and not sex
Why not phrase your question for a woman's response?
"and not 'sex'" as it equates to intercourse, well, what are the alternatives:
a. putting up with a scratchy face
b. using too much pressure
c. using a dry tongue
d. being too rough with his fingers
e. attempting to insert more than one finger w/o first testing the possibility
f. starting before she has been sufficiently aroused
g. stopping prematurely
h. exclusively using one or the other technique and not both in unison
> OR
> a bf that is great at sex and not oral sex/fingering?
Now, we have a "lover" who has little or no skill with foreplay who is now attempting intercourse with a woman who has not been sufficiently prepared....
___________
Bottom Line: Over the years that I have been contributing to this and previous sites, my goal has been to show others the importance of integration as it applies to developing skills for each phase of romance and love making--including "sex for sex sake". All too often young people, today, do not understand or see the value in the entire concept of what is termed "making love". From all of the questions posted during the month, it seems too much emphasis is placed on Foreplay {oral sex/fingering), rushing to have intercourse, all without first and foremost concentrating on the importance of preparing each other emotionally as well as physiological.
From Day One, right after a post pubescent boy begins masturbating he quickly develops a mechanical technique that he soon relies upon without much variety for the rest of his life. This technique gets right down to "the business at hand" without much thought or time devoted to increasing his physical arousal, such as caressing his torso, breasts, nipples, face, in preparation for what is to follow.
His method can become a problem when he joins forces with a female member of the species because he does not know about nor understand the differences in how females differ from males when it comes to sexual arousal and what is required. If he does not learn early on, he often will use what he knows about himself when it comes to making love to his partner. This means:
* no romance beginning hours before any physical activities
(setting the stage for what you would like to have happen
later, perhaps by sending a card, placing a note for later
discovery, whispering a hint in her ear before leaving, making
a short quick phone call just to say "hi" "I love you" "I'm thinkin'
about you and tonight", etc.)
* very little or no Necking, Petting, Heavy Petting, all before
reaching the Foreplay stage
+ Necking= kissing and caressing above the shoulders (Stage 1)
+ Petting= kissing and caressing below the shoulders while
remaining fully clothed (Stage 2)
+ Heavy Petting= All of the above while (partially) exposing
breasts. Genital play without exposure (Stage 3)
(Stages 1, 2, & 3, of a woman's level of arousal are also referred to as making it to first, second, or third base.)
+ Foreplay= oral stimulation and/or fingering of the genitals.
This and intercourse are often referred to colloquially as making a "Home Run".
(The term "Foreplay" is often incorrectly used to refer to all of the stages inclusively.)
* being heavy handed when handling his partner's pieces-parts
* not understanding the importance of devoting a lot of time to
each of the stages, and then not rushing to have an orgasm.
* selfishly only interested in his pleasure (getting his "rocks off")
as being more important than what he does for his partner.
(Making love is not what we do to each other; rather, what we do with and for each other in partnership.)
A lack of skill in one or more areas affects the others and the resulting outcome.
My answer to the o/p's questions is that it is more important to become skilled in all areas, not just one over the other. The sooner everybody understands how important integration is, the sooner a guy's chances of becoming a world class lover.
"So let it be said, so let it be done."
Excuse me but 'fingering' aka manual sex and 'oral' aka oral sex are in fact SEX. Just because they aren't vaginal intercourse is no reason to think they're not sex.
And that's usually not how men's skills break down anyway. A man is usually oral or tactile so the choice should be between manual or oral. Very few men are good at both. But that's mainly based upon my own experience. Your mileage may differ.
In my opinion, oral then manual then manual with oral are classified as the appetizer which had better be leading up to vaginal intercourse (if he wants to live) as the entree' but again, that's just me.
Please see the sticky post entitled The Program found elsewhere in this forum.
I honestly think oral sex plays a major role in the “love making” between two people. It’s the thing that kind of ties you both closer to each other; Just that bond of becoming one together it’s just so amazing! That is all…!!