I had sex for the first time with my boyfriend a couple weeks ago and we have had sex a couple times since then. So obviously, I'm pretty new at the whole thing, and I have a couple questions...
First, the first couple times we had sex, I felt like either I was too "tight" or maybe I'm just too small, and he couldn't get all the way in me, and when I thought he was, I couldn't really feel him inside me that much, it was almost like I was numb up there past a certain point or something, even though we were having sex, and I don't know why that would be. It hurt like hell the first two times, so I know it definitely happened!
Second, funny thing is, I've had sex but i've never given head to a guy, and I still feel like I don't know what I'm doing when giving a hand job. What I don't understand is, I thought that after a guy ejaculates, he kind of "cools off" and is done for a while.... so why is jacking a guy off or giving him a blow job considered foreplay for sex? Can guys cum and then still have an erection and have sex afterward? Wouldn't they rather just have sex? My boyfriend the past couple times has just fingered me and then I sort of reach down and try to get him inside me (which still hurts by the way, and can be difficult to do...) cause I just want sex at that point... is that so wrong to skip the other stuff to him? Ugh...I don't know what to do. Any thoughts or ideas or advice would be awesome, especially from guys.
thanks,
E
[QUOTE=Quote (oberon @ Sep. 18 2004,21:17)]As to why handjobs and oral sex are considered foreplay, you don't always have to do them to orgasm. You can play with the whole sexual order... for instance... start with a handjob, progress to oral and finish up by intercourse.[/QUOTE]
thats usually how I do things. I get him good and worked up and jump on lol.
also, I think Brandye has said this before, there are not actually nerve ending way up in our vaginas. The nerve endings are concentrated right around the opening and in our vaginal lips. Thats where we receive the most pleasure.
I was also like you. I had had sex w/ my b/f but I had never given him oral. I know how you feel. you are totally nervous you are going to screw up and do something stupid or hurt him.
you just have to take it slow. I would start doing what I thought was right and he'd tell me either do that...or don't do that. use your hand more...etc.
I don't neccessarily think skipping some stuff on him is wrong. I mean guys don't really need as much foreplay as women do. Hell, before I even get to the bed, my b/f will have an erection lol. so there's not much to "getting him ready". I do enjoy teasing him w/ HJ and oral. sometimes we just go back and forth. ill do manual on him, then him on me. oral the same way. just a good way to tease
Ask me and I'll answer that a blow job IS sex.
So, E, there will be times when a BJ works and there will be times when it's a prelude to something else. A guy CAN ejaculate and keep going...
The easiest answer to your question is to suggest that you not define sex too narrowly - penetration is only part of the game, so to speak. There are no rules and definitions. You and your partner have to explore what is good and what works for both of you. Simple, really.
The tightness should lessen... while not exactly anatomically correct, think of it as stretching a muscle. The more you use it... (I'm assuming you're well-lubed and that's not the issue.)
Hi EazyE03 and welcome.
I can't say much about the "tightness" thing, but I'll answer about handjobs and blowjobs. How many times a guy can orgasm without a break varies between guys. Most young guys can orgasm and almost immediately start again... the older you get this tends to lessen (not always... just usually...lol). As to why handjobs and oral sex are considered foreplay, you don't always have to do them to orgasm. You can play with the whole sexual order... for instance... start with a handjob, progress to oral and finish up by intercourse. Of course, none of this is mandatory... you can JUST do manual OR oral OR intercourse... OR any variation thereof... whatever you like.
OH! (And this is a joke... so no one get mad...lol) but don't ask whether a guy would rather have sex or a blowjob... most women might not like the real answer...lol.