Hello! Not to write a book or anything but....
First off, me and my girlfriend have been wanting to have sex for almost 2 months but never had the time alone to do it (since we both live with our parents) untill last sunday. Both our parents were out of town so I picked her up and we came to my place, we made out for a long time and i fingered her almost to orgasm but stopped (to save for later, HA), but we ultimatly decided against sex because by that time there was a chance my mom was gonna be home within a half hour and we both agreed to wait untill later and go to her house instead of being rushed. We got to her house a few hours later, same thing, we had maybe 30 minutes but decided to go for it anyway, we did the same as we had earlier, foreplay, i fingered her, etc, but when it was time, *drumb roll* I couldnt get hard if my life depended on it 
We figured it was because we were trying to rush and neither of us thought anything of it. So we ended up running out of time again, later yet the same day right before I had to get her home we decided to try yet again, with the same result. Ive NEVER NEVER NEVER had trouble getting hard before and hadnt masturbated for 5 days prior to when we were !supposed! to have sex just to make sure I would be fine....didnt work. Iam guessing/hoping its just my nerves, i have always been a realy nervous type person and I was nervous as hell everytime i knew we were gonna try to go all the way. The first time we fooled around early in the day i was hard but not as hard as normal. After the second time i didnt get hard anytime the rest of the day, even alone after I took her home. Although I didnt try all that much. I ended up worrying myself sick (literally) all that night and thinking about it all day today so I decided to join this site, and see what you all think.
By the way, were both 17, yes were young but we are responsible, we didnt even consider trying anything without a condom.
Iam hoping some of you more experienced folk may have some advice because I love this girl to death and want nothing more than to please her in every aspect of our relationship. I dont even care if i get anything out of sex or not I just want her to be able too, thats my goal.
Any help is appreciated 
Tue, 10/26/2004 - 04:17
#1
First timer troubles.....
As you can see, iam no expert but all i can say is make sure you actually love the girl. Ive done other stuff (not sex) with other girls and have regretted most of it because i didnt have real feelings for the person it was just physical.
Even the simplest thing like a kiss or even holding hands will seem like something special when its with someone you genuinely care for.
Wot can i say.......im fed up!
im 17yrs old and without bein big headed im quite good looking girls find me very funny and like to hang round with me but the thing is.........
ive only ever had 2 proper girl friends 1st one i was 2 young to do anythin but the second one she was the first girl i ever loved and we wer best friends aswel! then she broke up with me coz we wer "better frinds than anyfin else" we only ever kissed coz i waz too scared try anythin. so thing is im still a virgin
its so anoying its getting me down ive had so many chances with all different girls. the girl i work with now offered me sex right after wrk the other wk and i bottled it. im now single but wot i really need r sum tips on gettin girls 2 bed and hav great sex i dont know wot positions, wot to say or nothin. all comments and tips would be great. Tar jigga x 
try and relax, during foreplay try and push the idea of having sex out of your mind. and then when it comes time, maybe it will just happen without you worrying about it.
yea parents can be like that :P im sure theyll get used to it soon enough ;)
its good that your comfortable enough to talk about it, and it does make a huge difference in the long run, cause ull be more relaxed when it acctually comes to it
its always nice to have a chat! and fooling around as you put it is normally the best way to get comfortable with the person!
Ah if it were only that easy! Ive talked to her parents for months now and they pretend to like me and all that but they normally wont let her come to my house, we cant study together (in a diff grade, long story) and i live about an hour away. I actually was ALLOWED to help her study ONE TIME and she got a A, but some how her parents believe iam causing her grades to drop.
I saw her again tonight, unexpectedly, of course she was ready to go but since i was'nt expecting to see her i didnt have any 'protection' so we just fooled around and actually had some good conversation about everything. I learned alot about her, even though i thought i knew everything, overall we both seemed more comfortable discussing sex and stuff like that afterwards. Oddly enough, i thought we both seemed way more relaxed knowing we werent gonna go all the way (see above) even though we both would like to have.
P.S. Her parents actually got pissed at me and her tonight when I took her back to her house, even though we were back way ahead of time and it is'nt a school night and she has no homework lol. There kinda weird sometimes...
that must be bad
but what id do is get on the good side of her parents ;) talk to them etc and just make conversation, so they kinda know who you are. then im sure in time they'll trust ya. if not, then bring her to your house etc... its always cool when parents arent there anyway ;)
but yea, my gf is in another school as well... it sucks! but we still find time to see eachother, and sometimes do homework together.. with occasional breaks ;)
good idea is to do some homework at the same time as her like in the lounge or something to show her parents that u do work and so does she. just a thought
Hey, thanks for posting! I havent been online in a few days, been busy. Iam gonna try to relax and not make a big deal out of it, ive seen her a few times since and we have talked about it and i think its gonna be alright *crosses fingers*. The only problem now is her grades have 'dropped', she got a C, rest are A's and her parents blame me because we 'spend so much time together'. On average, i see her maybe 2 hours a week total. As of now I dont know when we will get to try again but iam hoping we dont plan it because that gives me time to think about it and get all nervous again. Hopefully it just happends naturally....
I wish we could see eachother alot and have time alone to just sit and talk like you and your girlfriend but since school started for her i dont see her very much because of her parents(nothing against parents, but i know stuff about hers that tells me they have serious issues, trust me) and we go to diff. schools so they dos'nt help.
Sorry for writing another book, thanks for the replies, i think ill be more 'ready' from now on when it comes to my nerves. Ill keep ya posted......
Well i saw her again tonight but we only had about a half hour together so we decided to just talk. Shes going away for the weekend but will be back sunday night, then well have some time together if everything goes ok. Ill keep this post updated if you all would like to keep track or whatever, I dunno lol
Thanks for the reply, I didnt know what else to do besides try a post on here and iam glad I did. Hopefully like you said ill be able to just relax next time the oppertunity presents its self. Iam gonna see her again on thursday, ive talked to her since the other night and no mention was made of planning anything but knowing her she will want to try. The only other thing iam not to crazy about is the only place we can mess around 95% of the time is in one of our cars, and that kinda sucks. I might tell her on thursday I didnt bring any condoms because i didnt think we would have a chance and then well just fool around and if i get er up then maybe ill supprise her......hope so anyway.
Again thanks for the reply, ill be sure to keep this post updated if anyone is interested
Planning really isn't the best route, but in situations like his, because they are both young and both still live at home, planning is usually the only way.
In situations like mine, whatever happens when we're together, happens. We don't plan out the events and what foreplay or whatever we're going to do, but we have to plan the day or we'd never get any.
Hi..and welcome to the site!
It sure sounds like it's all about the stress and pressure to perform that's causing your problem.
Always rushing or worrying about your parents coming home is causing your body to react in a way that you dojn't have to worry about it!
Best thing to do is to stop trying to "plan" the sex, and just be ready to have it when the FULL opportunity presents itself.
Good for you for using condoms too!
Relax! Go with the flow. Let things happen in their own time and stop trying to force the issue! It will be better for you both in the long run!
heya, im a bit late in posting, but id just thought id say i had a smimilar problem
i could never get it up, its was really strange cause i never ever had aany kinda problems before, so i was really worried and kinda freaked out (+ it was kinda embarassing)
the way i got over it was to just totally relax with her. just basically lying naked together or anything like that helps alot. Also, we just made a joke out of it (my gf is the best ever hehe) and low and behold, that day i got it up, wayhay!
so i guess once u just totally relax and acctaully laugh at the situation (dont worry about it, its just nerves (even if u think ur not nervous) like, u can never really egt it up if ur totally trying too hard
so realx and make a joke out of it. talking about it helps alot, and makes it less embarrasing in the long run, im sure she wont mind. then itll be much easier, cause u will stop trying because u know she wont mind! then suddenly, itll be up before you know it ;)
hope this help!
When we were together the other night I did that although unintentionaly, and things went really good. Iam gonna be sure to keep it out of my mind (haha) whenever there may be a chance. I think i was always 'ready' before because i truthfully didnt think we would ever get a chance then when we finally did i just freaked out. Were alot more comfortable with eachother (i thought we were fine before but i guess not) when it comes to sexual stuff so i think/hope everything will go fine when the time comes....
I cant thank you all enough for your replies, you have realy helped me to chill out so to speak compared to when i first posted here.
Thanks