Let's begin at the beginning, do you masturbate to orgasm? Unlike men who come 'wired', women have to connect her hardware (body) with her software (brain) before orgasm through sex is possible and this is done by masturbating to orgasm on her own. From the sound of it, you haven't yet made this connection. Please be advised that if you had been molested between the ages of say 5 to 8, this connection will be more difficult to achieve as the 'pathways' will have been twisted. If this is the case, seek proper medical attention from a qualified rape counselor.

Once the connection has been made, there are several things that can interfere with orgasm. Among these are stress, dehydration, being tired, being ill, being bored, tension in body or mind, and loss of arousal for whatever reason from the ceiling collasping or rolling over and punching him in the eye aaccidentally, to the spouse coming home too early. Bearing all that in mind, I will also say, from my vast experience, that the first time you have sex with anyone, that will be the worse sex you will have with that person - so sex with this person will improve as you two 'get to know' eachother.

You ride a man using the same motions as riding a horse with an English saddle at the trot - posting as it is called. Best if the bedsprings have just the right amount of spring to them. Use your knees as a fulcrum and use the bedsprings to sustain the motion.

In addition to the threads recommended by Dancing Doc, please read the several articles I have written. You will find them listed in the Index.

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you will enjoy participating. Please begin by familiarizing yourself with the FAQs, the Posting Guidelines, and especially the Index, all found at the top of the main screen. The Index contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people ask about. In addition, if you click on the site's Home Page, you will find even more information.

Your post is full of "I think" and this is causing some over analyzing. This is OK at this point, however, we are here to help pass it forward by giving sage advice from having been there--done that, along with some plain old fashioned facts. Here we go....

[QUOTE=Drudkh;271086][COLOR="blue">Hi...

I just had my first time sex a few days ago... I thought it was going to hurt but it didnt..[/COLOR]

Brandye, our resident M.D. recommends a girl/woman contemplating intercourse first visit her doctor for a couple of reasons; first, to be able to ask questions and get answers about birth control, as well as other matters of possible concern; second, to double check and make sure her "pieces-parts" are all OK and ready to go.

[COLOR="blue">It didnt feel bad but it wasnt good either...[/COLOR]

This is quite understandable--it was your first time! It is good that first penetration did not feel uncomfortable. Most likely your hymen has already eroded away and did not need to be broken.

As for not being good, this will improve with skill and knowledge.
[COLOR="blue">
At some point when I was on top I had a hard time understanding if he was even in or not... so I also had no ideas what I was doing because I couldnt feel it that well.... [/COLOR]

Please understand that the vagina is devoid of nerves. The main "feeling" you feel is a sense of fullness. The vaginal opening has sensitive nerve endings that bring pleasure; however, the vaginal vault itself has none in order to facilitate birthing.

There are areas of pleasure inside like the anterior fornix and the G-spot, although these areas are below the skin.
[COLOR="blue">
I didnt cum. And neither did he.. and it took like forever![/COLOR]

It is important to understand that few sexual positions place your vulva in close constant contact with the man's pubic mound sufficient to bring about enough friction to trigger an orgasm. Actually, the Woman Superior/Cowgirl position with the woman straddling the man is one that does and is what we recommend for first time intercourse.

Why? Because it places the woman in charge. You know where P & V are so can deftly bring the two together. (Try this next time!) Doing so saves your guy some angst and fumbling and as noted, you not knowing whether or not he has gotten inside.

Second, your motions can be vertically, riding his penis up and down, or, you can slide back and forth along the shaft toward and away from his abdomen. Try both. You can also rest on your hands or forearms and lower your body directly over his. Please see the animated illustrations on the Home Page.

[COLOR="blue">I think he is actually quite small.... and I also think that I was too wet.. could that be the problem? [/COLOR]

Neither are likely. For more on the matter of his size, please read the very first article listed in the Index. Size is a range. Size is genetic. Size is also a matter of heredity. Size is generally not as important to a woman as his penis being fully functional. Consider the shaft of his penis as a combination throttle and brake that you manipulate to control his progress toward an eventual orgasm.

For Boys Only- A Matter of Size (Regarding your penis)

[COLOR="blue">I can understand that reaching orgasm will be more difficult for me being a woman and all but is it possible it wont be good for him either because of his smallness and my wetness? If I were less wet at least hed get off?[/COLOR]

Yes and no. Some women find attaining a climax to be more difficult, some just some of the time. Distractions can sidetrack your concentration as can outside noises, or mood. Whether or not "it won't be good for him either" is not a matter of size or wetness. Wetness is a good thing whether natural or a lubricant from a bottle or both.

It is important to understand that each of your orgasms come more from proper timing and technique, and these can be learned. Making love is not what we do to each other; rather, what we do with and for each other in partnership. Therefore, explore and learn together. We do not give orgasms away; each person is responsible for his/her own. All anybody can hope for is to help our partner achieve them.

For you (as well as his benefit) it is important to devote sufficient time to fooling around and making out. There is much information to be found in the articles about Necking, Petting, Heaving Petting, all before getting to the Foreplay stage and then Intercourse. Women in general require no less than half an hour (more within reason and if time permits) spent on all this in order to become sufficiently aroused and turned on.

Intercourse should not begin until both of you are at the brink of a climax. Invite him inside only when you are fully prepared. For some reason nowadays, guys operate under the misguided misconception that the best and fastest way to an orgasm is from lots and Lots and LOTS and LOTS of stroking. WRONG. This is the why behind all the making out. Your man should only begin intercourse after reaching the point of no return yet not so close as to lose control when shifting around and getting into position. His climax should then happen within the first couple of minutes.

[COLOR="Blue">It wasnt the first time for him, he used to be in a relationship for a long time and we are not teenagers.. so I was surprised he didnt cum.[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

Here are two additional articles to read:

HELP! S/He is more EXPERIENCED! To which I say:

Next: If you are new & have no experience (Pt. 2 of HELP! S/He is more EXPERIENCED!:
If you are a guy who happens to be shy or uncertain about making the first move, know that this is OK. My suggestion is:
(Part 2 of Chapter 5)

All of us make love in generally the same ways; however, there are many variations to the theme that makes synchronization of our movements and getting "in tune" with our partner challenging as well as a work of art more so than being purely mechanical. You cannot expect that because arousing your partner and/or helping him/her to achieve an orgasm last time is a guarantee next time. The same goes for prior experience. The dynamics between his last partner with him, and now you, will be different.

If you experience difficulty achieving a climax, consider your mood, your environmental conditions, and how aroused you have become. As mentioned, a lot of positions do not stimulate you sufficiently, so what a knowledgeable, skilled, caring, lover will do in addition to all the stroking and thrusting is to reach around and stimulate your clitoris by hand.

Communication is key. Talk to each other and provide verbal or non-verbal feedback on how each of you is responding to each others kisses and caresses. There is an article on all this, also.

I hope this is of help. After reading the articles, discussing what you have read, adding the information to what each of you already knows--and practicing! if you have any questions, please do not hesitate to ask.

Please remember, work together in partnership, explore and learn together.

-doc

Being too wet and not feeling full sounds as if you think there's something wrong with you and/or with your fellow. There isn't any point to that. You and he are what you are. Accept and move on.

Please read the articles previously mentioned. They really will help.

My first time sexual experience was fantastic,and he was quite small.EEK knows what she is talking about so please read the articles she has recommended.