hey there
My girlfriend and I have been trying to have sex for a while now, and we've come across bad problems which prevent us from doing it. 
my partner is very very sensitive\ticklish (and small) and everytime i touch her, he recoils and like pushes me away. after a while i get to do foreplay with her. this is usually succesful. but, when i try to insert my finger to stimulate her, she says the opening is very uncomfortable and she gets some pain. once im in, its normally ok. I cant use more than 1 finger otherwise she recoils in pain and i cant do anything.
Its the same type of problem when we try to have sex. I have trouble finding the entrance, but once i do she says she has incredible pain and its unberable. I dont know if its my technique, or her or what! we've tried many times (about 10) and only once have i acctually "got it in". its was very very painful for her she says and she cant stand it.
is there anything to help? I dont know what to do, and we both want to. I do use luibricated condoms, and also applied KY jelly for extra lube. still no luck
The problem on my part is i cant seem to get it in. I can see where i need to, but i just cant seem to get it in, like its to tight. The problem on her part (but it could be my fault) is the horrible pain. I do try very gently also, and still pain
please help!
thank you! 
well i didnt have to convince her or anything, we just decided we wanted to because we love eachother very much. i dont mind how long it takes
MAN ME AND YOU ARE TRYING THE SAME THINGS I MEAN I AM CLOSE TO FINALLY HAVING MY FIRST VIRGIN AND ITS HARD DUDE I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE EASIER. IVE HAVENT DONE NOTHING YET CAUSE SHES BEEN TOO SCARED BUT IVE CONVIECED HER TO LOSE IT TO ME AND SHE SAID SHE WILL.. I MEAN I DUNNO HOW IT WILL BE BUT ILL REPLY AGAIN TO STATE MY EXPERIENCE
you're welcome.
Thanks you two, and a huge hug for thetease13! youve been a great help and i think now we can get though this, slowly and bit by bit
thanks for all the speedy and very very helpful replies!
thank you!
[QUOTE=Quote (Purrson @ Oct. 31 2004,14:45)]and as for the fingering, its quite hard. as soon as i touch her she tenses and she looks in agony and i dont want to hurt her
[/QUOTE]
also, let her know when you go down there you aren't necessarily going to try and finger her...just rub down there.
If she's scared and tensed up, you'll never get anything inside her. She needs to relax and feel comfortable.
good luck
Yes it does feel good!
all the nerve endings are around the vagina and just inside the entrance. There are also nerves endings around the lips so it feels good anywhere down there
oh yea, and another question
i know the whole are 'down there' feels nice when you touch it. does this include the opening of the vagina. sorry to say it bluntly, but if i were to rotate my finger around the entrance, would it feel good, or bad or what?
thanks for all the info thetease13.. its a great comfort to know other people have similar situations. yea im willing to give it time, after all, i love her so much i woudlnt mind if we didnt do it for aaages, but then again, i think she wants to :P
she says she dosent want to use any type of vibrators etc, because she says she shouldnt have to... hehe
anyhow im willing to wait any amount of time, so i guess were taking the slow route
thanks for the speedy and rescourceful replies!
hey, this is a sex site. type as bluntly as you want. lol.
the entrance thing varies from person to person. if she's having pain at the entrance, I doubt rotating your fingers would do much other than cause more pain.
now, if a tongue were to do it, yes, that would feel good, to me atleast. but I have a fetish for tongues and I think that kissing and oral are the two hottest things people can do.
and if sex was simple, there'd be a lot of things we wouldn't have to use out there.
i logically shouldn't have to "work myself" down there, but I do, and it's pretty much the only way I'm gonna get used to it because we're not together often enough to work on it together.
but it's good that you're willing to wait and willing to stop when she wants you to. and speaking on her behalf, as someone who experiences the pain too, that's a very good thing.
one thing I've always loved about my guy is if it hurts, he's willing to stop. he doesn't force it and makes sure I'm ok during it all.
Well if you can't get more than one finger in, then its not likely you'll be getting a penis in there any easier. I would continue w/ the lube and just finger her. Get her comfortable w/ one finger, then move on to 2,3...then try an actual penis.
thanks, ill keep a look out for that astroglide (cool name :P ) i live in UK and i dont think ive heared of it. ill look anyhow.
and as for the fingering, its quite hard. as soon as i touch her she tenses and she looks in agony and i dont want to hurt her
its not like i can get in with two fingers, because the pain must be so unbarable, she closes her legs and recoils. I guess its just a matter of getting used to being touched down there. I'll give it a go anyhow (ill try 
)
i asked her about vibraors etc and she says she dosent want to use any, so i guess we have to find another way. Its gonna take some time though, right?
Well, atleast I know I'm not alone in the world.
I have problems when he enters me. I don't know why exactly, but it's there. I don't experience pain once he's further in, just at the entrance, and no, it's not my hymen.
And yes, I have the same problem with fingers as well.
It was a horrible pain. Unbearable.
However, I am working to better myself down there so to speak.
I have two vibrators which I use every now and then. One is small and plastic, the other is about as big around as him and is rubber.
I used to only use the small plastic one since it was all I could get in. But after working with it, I've discovered that I can get the other one in without starting off with something smaller.
I used to use KY Jelly and had a lot of pain. I now use Astroglide. I still experience some pain, but certainly not as much. Astroglide is much more slick and allows for better entrance in either hole.
The more I've worked with myself, the less the pain has gotten each time.
So I guess I'll stop babbling and say just try working with it. Have her start with something small and plastic (as it will slide better) and then work up to something bigger, whether it be a bigger vibrator (on a note: i don't actually turn them on cause that doesn't do anything for me, but i'm odd) or something like your fingers or even your penis.
Ditch the KY Jelly and try some astroglide and if you want something else to go with it, try the new silken secrets from Astroglide. It's lube you actually insert in her.
I would assume they sell Astroglide over there, but I don't know.
You can order it online though and have it shipped to you if you can't find it in a store around there.
And if she doesn't want to go the vibrator route, that's cool. I thought they were kinda silly and I never thought I'd own one but I do now. Or rather, I own two now. lol. Again, I don't turn them on cause yea, don't do anything for me. I just use them to "work on it".
But try the finger thing as demon suggested because I doubt if she doesn't want a vibrator, she doesn't want much of anything else up there.
I also suggest tampons if she doesn't use them already. It will get her a little bit used to something being "stuck up" inside of her.
And yes, it will take time.
Sex isn't something most can just rush into. It takes a lot of time, a lot of practice, and a lot of patience in some cases.