Hi all, hope this is the right forum for this.

As the title says, I recently had sex for the first time. I'm a 19 year old male (obviously), so started late. It was with my new girlfriend, who is 21.

I really just want some reassurance, as I'm sure it was down to nerves, but the above happened to me recently. I've only been with my girlfriend a short while, and she is much more experienced than me. She has slept with 11 people, including me. She was in a three year relationship up until 10/11 months ago. She was apparently unhappy in that relationship, and went off the wagon a little when she became single, and slept around a bit. She says the last one was 2, almost 3 months ago, when she realised what she was doing, and 'developed some self-respect', as she puts it. According to her friends, she was messed around by these guys, and has always been treated badly by arseholes.

One of the guys she was with is a friend of mine. Though I didn't know her when they were 'together'. None of this happened when I knew her. I met her about a month ago, and we hit it off immediately. We both knew we liked each other as soon as we saw one another.

Anyway, we have got on great, and it's as if we've known each other for ages. We are really great together, and her friends say she is the happiest she has ever been. After spending more and more time together over the last month, she asked me to stay over a few days ago. I was happy to, and we had a lovely evening watching movies, and she fell asleep in my arms. I took her to work the next day, and I got a text after a few hours, asking if I wanted to spend the night again. I said yes, and again, she fell asleep in my arms. The following morning, she didn't have to work, so we stayed in bed, fooling around. One thing led to another, and her hand was in my boxers. I was as hard as a rock, and leaking precum like no tomorrow. She actually asked me if I'd cum already, there was that much. Anyway, she asked me if I wanted to have sex. I was turned on, so agreed. I got a condom out of her draw, and put it on. But then it went downhill. I lost my erection. She started stroking me again, and I went back to exploring her body. I was quickly hard again, but after entering her, I lost it soon after. I felt humiliated, but she seemed okay with it. Didn't stop me feeling stupid though. Fortunately I'd given her an orgasm with my fingers/tongue, so it wasn't a wasted effort.

I stayed over two nights later, and we were fooling around again. Her parents were out, and her sister was on the other side of the house (their house is huge, so it wasn't a problem). She had been teasing me, when her sister was in the room at one point, she kept pulling her top down, showing me her bra. Again, I was hard as a rock, but I don't think I was turned on enough, despite her being hot as fook.

After going down on her, she said she wanted me inside her. This time, we didn't use a condom. Yes, I'm am well aware what you will all think, so there is no need to repeat it. We are both clean, and she is on the pill. But I know it isn't very clever. Staying hard wasn't really a problem here, but I just couldn't cum. We must have been going at it for about 10 minutes. When I masturbate, I can get to the point where I can cum in about 2 minutes, so I was surprised that I felt like I was no where near after 10. Usually my masturbation sessions are much longer, as I like to prolong it, and the anticipation really does it for me. We stopped after that, as we heard her parents come back.

Whilst the penetration was enjoyable, I didn't really get that feeling from it. And she is tight. She says that I'm really big for her, and that it actually hurts sometimes, even when she is soaked, and I'm only a smidgen under 7inches, and possibly a 5inche circumference, so tightness isn't a problem, as far as I can tell.

I'm thinking that subconsciously, my desire to please her, my nerves about it being my first time, my inability to get over her past, etc, was effecting both my erection, and the ability to cum? Earlier on today, I masturbated whilst thinking about her, and had no problem maintaining a hard erection, or cumming in a timely manner. So definitely psychological, yeah?

I also couldn't cum, or get near to cumming, whilst she was giving me a hand job, or oral. Admittedly, the oral/handjob wasn't that great, so communication would sort that.

Any advice? Like I said, I believe that it was psychological, and maybe a lot more foreplay/anticipation would help, as well as just relaxing and enjoying what is happening.

Right?

Apologies for the long post, and if this has been spoke about before. Thanks for any help/advice.