Ok so im in a strange position and i could use some tips.
I had one 5 year relationship where we did tons of exploring and just got really really good at sex (she was a virgin)
We broke up and i been single for a year and I have had A lot of sexual partners since.
Most of my partners were repeat customers so to speak. Im not blessed with size but im very confident, passionate, and i have endurance. As long as i don't receive oral beforehand i can go all night.
So Alot of my casual partners were always insanely pleased with the activity beneath the sheets........ ok ok ok im done patting myself on the shoulder.
cause now..... I have fallen for a new women and have entered a committed relationship. Been going on for about 3-4 months now.
She is not overly satisfied, She has to basically finger herself during sex to feel pleasure. I dont think its my size cause she has a tight vagina.
So i dont know what the **** im doing wrong, we have talked about it she says she needs clit stimulation to feel pleasure. and i have slept with 20+ other women who almost all achieved intense orgasm with just penetration. So im so confused and it makes me start to wonder if shes physically into me?
I try to give her more oral, and half the time she doesn't like that, i try to do more foreplay and hand stimulation and that also has little affect. I try to listen and observe for signs of what she does and doesn't like. And still no matter how hard i try she is only gonna cum two ways: 75% of the time by masturbating herself, and 25% of the time doggy style while she stimulates herself.
I have thought about adding a vibrator, but call me egotistical i think she would want to use it every time and i would lose that great feeling of being a man who can get the job done himself.
Its just creating insecurity in me, cause sometimes i cant help but think while im trying to be passionate and confident and tease her and just give her a long intense experience, shes just rubbing her clit a mile a second, it just makes me feel like i don't really need to be there.
So yes this is my inspiration to be here, i have never felt so sexually inadequate before, im gonna do some studying and listen to what some of you think or advise, cause im out of ideas.
Alot of women do this during sex. My wife does all the time.
Try taking over from her - when she is on her back, keep your rhythm going and start to rub her clit with your thumb.
Or do it doggystyle, and give her a reach around................
Im already learning loads of **** on here. I cant believe of all the women i been with this is the first one to feverishly finger herself. I thought the fact that she had troubles getting stimulation from just intercourse was something about her.
when now im learning that most women have this issue, and all the other women i been with either just lied or were an exception.
Its interesting, i thought i knew so much about sex but its really naive to think that way cause there is just so so so much more to learn
Well, I'm another who orgasms quite nicely from penetration alone - esp when the head of his penis caresses my G-Spot. No, I'm not lying and no, I'm not an exception.
I find it odd that such a 'clit-centered' girl doesn't orgasm when receiving oral more than half the time.
Frankly, I don't think its you. Has she completely given herself permission to enjoy sex with a man? Does she have control issues in that she has to be the one who stimulates her orgasms because to let you do it means she has 'lost control'?
You're going to have to have a serious 'sit-down and discuss this topic' kind of talk with her. Just do not do it from the stand point of what you're doing wrong or she's doing wrong - just explain how this makes you feel.
well we talked about it alot the other night, She has had issues with feeling pain (cause were having alot of sex) She does tell me about how much pleasure i give her by being inside her or by masturbating next to her. and i believe those statements to be genuine
The oral sex thing is more so about her comfort level about her situation down south, and to be honest the smell or taste is nothing im concerened with or give a **** about i love to pleasure her and its always very much tolerable. One time i gave her a great orgasm with oral and it drove her wild. But my efforts since have failed. The sex is great and we have a great relationship brewing. I do sense control issues, and we have talked about it and acted out on those (straps/cuffs).
Im gonna make some more efforts of doing things like reach arounds and make sure she knows that i can be in control of her pleasure as much as she can. im gonna pick up that trojan cock ring vibrator today! it will be an nice valentines day surprise. I need to stop being insecure and be more of a man who will please his women.
If that effort falls short i will talk to her, im a very open and honest guy so im not super concerned and i just think i need to have a more open mind about her stimulation during intercourse and try some new things.