Sorry, guys, this is gonna be kinda long--but I'd much appreciate any input you have!

To start off, brief illustration of my situation: I'm female, in a long-term relationship with a male. We are the only sexual partners either of us have had; we do manual and oral sex, but not any form of penetration. Penetration with a finger hurt terribly when we tried, and vaginal intercourse was never attempted; he's been able to insert his tongue a little bit though.

As for medical history, I'm on the pill for painful cramp control, have been for almost a year. My general practitioner doctor tried to do a PAP exam when she first gave me the script, but couldn't (again, hurt too much).

I visited my doc recently, hoping that an ultrasound exam might be a suitable alternative to a PAP, but she refused. Essentially, she won't renew my pill prescription (which runs out in two months) until I can complete a PAP, and for that reason she's sending me to a gynecologist.

I'm very nervous about this whole situation. I don't know what I'll be expected to do at the gyno's office; do first gyno visits often involve some sort of exam, or is it usually a consultation? What can I expect to have the gyno ask me about? How should I prepare for it?

I know she'll try to get me to be able to "open up", per se, but I'm feeling very pressured by this "time frame" for figuring things out. I have to be able to get a speculum in my vagina by May or else I don't get my medicine and my hormones get screwed up? It's terrifying me, to be honest. I'm not quite sure how to handle this situation.

Any advice, pointers, anyone? I would really appreciate it... Thank you...