Hi...i'm 29 years old, female, and still a virgin. I've recently met someone who I would like to share the experience with. Hes being very patient with me, however - i've never had anything inserted in my vagina. I tried a tampon on my last period (a few weeks ago) - it got half way in and I thought i was going to pass out from the pain, I felt very nauseous. He has tried to put a finger inside me, but whenever he gets close, I tense up and all I can think about is it hurting. Last time we tried, I thought he had actually put some of his finger in me because it hurt quite a bit - and he said he was only on the outside. I feel a bit abnormal. He says I just need to learn to relax, but I dont know how. I've been trying to get comfortable with myself - but I can't even bring myself to put my own fingers inside me, b/c I tense up and I know it will hurt. Has anyone ever experienced anything like this before? How did you overcome it? I think he may be getting slightly frustrated with his sexually dysfunctional girlfriend 
Sat, 07/10/2004 - 21:55
#1
Fingering - help!
well, you're not dysfuctional. it happens to a lot of girls.
you just have to find a way to get yourself to relax.
if that means thinking about flowers and puppies..then just close your eyes and think about flowers and puppies.
breathe in and breathe out deeply before he starts.
i'm not a tampon wearer myself. i hate them. they hurt. lol.
i don't finger myself either and rarely do i put something like a vibrator into it...because i don't get pleasure out of it and i just feel odd doing it cause i don't get pleasure.
however, i recommend getting something like this.
it's long, but it's slender and has a smaller tip than lots of vibrators out there. it's also plastic, which means it will glide in easier. buy you some lube to go with it.
start out with just the tip. and day by day just work your way into it. it may take some time.
while i can't say that it's help get me more used to sex (because i haven't had sex since i got it), i will say that i tense up a lot less since i got that thing because it has taught me that not everything that enters my body down there is going to hurt.