hey! Ok, I have a problem, I actually have a coupld of questions for anyone who wants to answer them. My boyfriend just recently started fingering me and he doesn't use lubrication and he doesn't lick his fingers, the only think that provides a lubricant is me getting wet. I feel bad telling him that he needs to wet his fingers. I am afraid he will take it offensively. Is there any way I can approach this? Thanks.

One more thing, also, when he is fingering me, is he hard? I know it varies with every guy but how likely is it that he is hard while he is doing this. I am kind of insecure and I feel that I am not turning him on while he fingers me. Thanks

I am assuming you are in your mid-teens. At that age, you can assume he has an erection most of the time you are touching one another.

You have need (lubrication), tell him. You will find lots of needs in your sex life and this is minor compared to what is down the road. Get used to asking for what you want.

Are you sure you are ready to embark on this trip?

after my boyfriend fingers me I get a lot of like discharge... is this normal?

As long as it is clear and has no unpleasent odor, it is probably normal. It is normal for your vagina to produce fluids as a result of arousal and stimulation. Some women just produce more fluids than others.

First, don't be so tough on yourself or your boyfriend! If you're both just starting, then take this opportunity to truely explore TOGETHER!

If you are able to bring yourself to orgasm when you masturbate, then some nite, masturbate FOR him. He'll watch and learn how you like to be touched! He can do the same!

Also, spend $20 bucks and get to Barns and Noble and get some books on Sex and Relationships!

Take it slow. Communicate. Be Safe!

Here is a link to some tips that may help your boyfriend help you:
vaginal fingering techniques

See my response to sweetie on "orgasm" right here.

hi guys, ive been with my boyfriend for over 5 months now and we have become very physical within our relationship. I am able to give him a succesfull hand-job which makes him come everytime, although, when it comes for him fingering me, I havent ever come. We have tried and i have told him things but we just cant seem to get a result! It is both our first time in such a physical relationship so i dont know what to exepect and he isn't 100% sure either. What he does feels great and I feel sometimes like i'm getting a bit closer to something, like it comes in waves and then i relax again. It all feels reeally good, but i just dont feel satisfied, This is reeeallly getting him down and he feels that hes is just a bad boyfriend. I love him too much to let him feel like this so I reeally need help. Are there any tips you can help us with, i.e. how far he should put his finger in, or what kind of techniques that I can explain to him. xxxx

I found out when fingering a woman it is best to make sure that your finger nails are clipped short. Long nails tend to       scratch and my cause bleeding. Use a lot of spit to lube the labes. I like to finger but, there is nothing better than oral. Like it was said before, you got to get down and  check it out.  Ladies make sure it is fresh  

hi-
my bf and i are ready to have sex. i am 20 and still a virgin, i've never even been fingered. can you give me some tips on the best positions, and how/if i should help guide him in?? i would like to make this an enjoyable experience for us both!

(this post was merged into this topic by the moderator)

I dont like to be fingered, I like to be played with, if that makes any sense. I like to be played with the outside and not the inside, when my b/f sticks his fingers inside, it doesnt do much for me. If you want to know more I recently wrote step by step in another post. Maybe the moderater can help with this.

Whispeing in ears works wonders too... for me anyway. And if your partner puts their hand on the bare flesh of your back while he does it, yeah, Thats nice.

I don't know too much about fingering either dude, but for what my past girlfriends told me, women do not realy enjoy fingering. Maybe they do, but you realy realy need to know what you are doing, you can't just put your hand in there and start moving it or trying to get your finger inside of her. You need to be in the right angle and position or you will hurt her, and i find out that it works great if you are giving her oral sex and fingering at the same time. That my friend realy works. But as i told you, you need to know what you are doing, and the best way is to go down there and see for yourself what is going on. Well, i hope that help, good luck .

yeah guys, when you aren't sure wheather or not your girl likes how your using your hands down there, don't be afraid, comunicate with her, i've done this, it's not weird or anything. that way you can find out what she really likes or doesn't like, or if she even likes it at all, virgin or not, i'm sure you want to make your girl happy. communicate, it does nothing but good

well, i'm not very experienced at all at this.
i have 'fingered' a female before, but not a virgin.
see, it was kind of awkward, because i wasn't sure if i hit the spot. i found what i suppose is her labia. but, i didn't really find an opening (she's pretty fleshie down there, and i didn't want to start poking around and hurt her or something). and i'm used to using the opening to find the clitoris.
so, is it normal to not even be able to insert one finger, or does it vary?(i kind of have large hands)
and does this make it harder to please her if you are doing all the work from the outside?

any answers or advice will be greatly appreciated.

thankyou.

Ok, cup your hand over her entire genital area. Press firmly but gently and move in SLOW, smal circles. If you get that far, take her cues and your will be in good shape.

Perhaps it is not your immediate intent, but anything can happen. Have condoms with you

I like being fingered now (provided I'm in the right mood of course) but I most definitely did not when I was a virgin. There was a time when it was very painful to insert even my own finger, let alone a man's! It does vary from person to person though.

i find it very pleasurable, and didnt hurt at all and im a virgin. suppose im lucky!!!! jokes.

im w/ Honey i was fingered when i was a virgin and it didn't hurt... it felt very good
if u are wondering whats down there and instead of just probing and poking around like one person said maybe decide to give her oral that way u are right down there looking at it and can see what stimulation feels good to her or not.
just remember that b4 u start poking around make sure she is wet enough or it will hurt.
hope this helps

another thing you could try is stroking along the outside of the whole of her genital area, along the vague line of the lips of the hole, this way, u tease and make her wetter, and at the same time (by listening to her breathing and reacting to the grasping of her hand etc) you can find which spots she enjoys the most, use long gentle strokes and occasionally change to small circles, in concentrate4d areas once you know where she like it best. If your anything like i was, then going down on her might not be appropriate yet, it takes time, and even being able to see the area in detail doesnt help a great amount all the time

but as one dude said, communicate with her, she should know what she wants, cause she most probably has masturbated at some point in her life, asn so knows how to do it.

good luck, and have fun!

The "best position" varries between couples. I personally like positions that allow deeper penetration. Also, I love getting fingered, I think it sounds kind of nasty, but it sure feels great to me. I'd suggest fingering before sex. I've never had to use lubricant just because I get so wet from being fingered.

Use a condom, have fun. That is the best advice I have. I feel that when you have sex, maybe you plan a date and birth control, but the act itself, you just have to roll with the punches.

like brandye said, "go to your favorite search engine..." there is a plethora of information on the net about anatomy. If you do eventually finger her, remeber a few things; take it slow at first, there is no need to rush right in; communicate. it is very important, you're not a mind reader, and she knows what she likes and doesn't like; and make sure your hands are clean and your fingernails are trimmed, the vagina is very sensitive and a rough or sharp fingernail can be very painful for her.

Go to your favorite search engine and put in female anatomy, sexual anatomy, Gray's Anatomy or some such. Check out the diagrams and photos.

The real action is not inside, it is on the surface. Your g/f may not be as knowledgeable as you think.

3 holes? oh boy!, you are realy lost there. I wonder what will be the use of the third one. Well, my practical advice is that you go and find some porn pics in the web (for educacional purpose of course, that should not be to so hard, since there are trillions of them) and take a good look, there are plenty of vaginas there. That's just so you can get an idea of what you will find on your g/f.
I hope some one here can give you a better help. Good luck .

One other very important think is to make sure that your hand/her vulva is well-lubricated.

Who told you there were 3 holes, when you see the vagina you will know where the hole is, its not as hard as you think it is.dont only finger her in the hole, go around the clit area, for a lot of girls that their G spot, they like it a lot, it is for me, do a variety, circular rubs, in the hole, around the clit, once you begin, you will know what to do. dont worry about it.

Technically, there are three holes: the vagina, the anus and the urinary opening. However, the urinary opening is barely visible, and the vagina and the anus are pretty easy to tell apart.

Stephanie, the G-spot and the clitoris are not the same thing. The term "G-spot" is often misused to refer to any area of a woman's body that is especially sensitive, but it actually refers to a specific area inside the vagina. You can read more about it here:

the G-spot

wow, i didnt know that, you learn something new everyday, thanks for fixing that for me.

i recently got fingered for the first time. i was so scared, but when it happened i wasnt scared. i thought it would hurt or there would be some blood considering i hadnt done it before and im a virgin. it didnt hurt at all, not one bit. is this normal. we are not going out with eachother, just mates, and fooling around. and it was great. am i ok? should there have been pain?

no honey you are ok
since the fingers aren't as long or big as a penis it doesn't effect you the same way. also, not all first times w/ intercourse are as painful for every girl. i dont know about the first experiences for any other girls on the board but i remember my first time i was scared like u were, wondering if it was going to hurt and such. my b/f was nervous too b/c he wasn't a virgin and i was. he was scared he was going to hurt me etc, but we took things slow and my first time really didn't hurt at all...there was a little discomfort at first but after that i was ok.

I find fingering to be more pleasing than sex a lot of the time. I'm not sure if I was afraid or not the first time. I was staying at myboyfriend's house, we weren't going out then, and we both ended up sleeping in his bed (which his parents never knew because he always managed to wake up and move before they woke up) and before I knew it my shirt was off and he was fingering me. I suppose it was so spontaneous I didn't really have time to consider it...

Have fun, but be careful.

im an expert or anythin like that but i can try to help. maybe she was dry or just not relaxed at the time. she may have been expecting the pain and clenched up automatically.

and as far as the moaning thing, you should just get her to the point of where she should trust in u because she may think that ur gonna laugh or go off and tell your friends that she sounds weird when she moans.

Even if her hymen hasn't been broken yet fingering shouldn't hurt. Your finger is smaller than a tampon and women who still have their hymen use tampons without problems all the time. I'd assume if it hurt her that she just wasn't wet enough. If this wasn't the case the only other reason I can think of that might cause pain while being fingered is that she has an infection of some sort that should be treated. As for moaning, it comes naturally. I know that in the past when I've dry humped and whatever I didn't really moan, but when you have sex it is a totally different feeling and you just can't help it.

Taking into consideration that you've never fingered a girl before, then you just might have been at a bad angle. If it's possible, take off her pants, and her underwear if she's comfortable with that too. Start with one finger, and be gentle. Try to get into a position where you have the ability to move your entire arm, with your finger, if you get what I'm saying. That was, she's most likely laying on her back, and it's kind of easy access. As for fingering techniques/more detail on how to do it, check the pleasing her section. I know I've made a few posts there.

I need some major help.  See me and my girlfriend were messing around on my bed one day.  She lets me rub her on the outside of her pants and above her panties a lot.  Sometimes she lets me just rub her pussy.  I like that the most   Shes never been fingered b4 in her life.  That day i was rubbin her and i kept playin around her vagina with my fingers and i was like "do you want me to try to finger you" and she said "yeah u can try."  I've never done it before so I just stuck my finger in and like almost instantly shes like "ouch ouch ouch stop please" so i stopped.  We were talking later and she understands that she needs to be "broken in" but it just hurts her a lot.  Thats why i'm askin for some help.

PLEASE HELP ME...i want to please her so bad

one more thing when we have dry sex or when i'm rubbin her pussy she doesn't want to moan or anythiing because she thinks she'll sound weird, but i'll love it if she moaned!  I told her that too but she still won't

Click on the following link for lots of information and tips on Fingering Techniques

Also, don't be afraid to ask her (and let her show you) what she likes. Everyone is different!

I couldn't fit a tampon in when I was a virgin, and most men's fingers are wider than tampons. She may, like me, have a tough hymen, but there are some things you can do to make it easier. putting some lube on your finger will help it slide in more easily. Trim your nails beforehand; long nails can be a problem even for non-virgins. Most importantly, make sure she is sexually aroused before you try to finger her, as this will make her vagina looser and provide natural lubrication.

humm well i have been fingered, and yea i get where shes commin from, every one is probilly right bout her being dry, but well my b/f did it to me and well he was doing fine til like he just got soo close to actually making me orgasm and then it just hurt, kinda like he was using to much pressure, or just maybe he rubbed it raw, not like physically raw, but it hurt fer like 3 days after, so just make sure you dont make that mistake, i mean some girls arent as forgiving as I... j/k

I seriously wouldnt worry about it. The way you described what your feeling is all i feel when I masturbate, which is essentially whats happening during fingering except that another person is doing it. When you start getting MORE physically invovled, if indeed you choose to do so, meaning sex and oral sex (and i am in NO way condoning this unless you are TOTALLY and COMPLETELY ready), I suspect more intense orgasms will probably follow.

ok dude heres ur solution! download sum porn! and watch it and find out where it is! lol do go trying to finger her round the top area u wont find shit, go low u'll find it! search around she might like it!

Alright. This is a LONG topic. here's the BEST answer. Read all the other posts. lol. but seriously.. JUST ASK HER WHAT SHE WANTS AND TO SHOW YOU! NOTHING can go wrong that way.. be gentle though and only 1 finger at first. make sure shes wet.. if shes not play with her nipple a bit and kiss her neck and such.. tease hrer

drew

i dont think being fingered is the best thing ever, but it's good. The best part of it is when my boyfriend takes his fingers out and they are soaking wet, i love to suck on all his fingers. I love doing that, and all the guys seem to go crazy when i do it too

[QUOTE=Quote (oxErikaxo @ June 20 2005,23:29)]its ok your girlfriend probably wont know what the hell shes doing either. its nothing to get all worked up about.[/QUOTE]
i am a girl lol...my bf touches my clit directly and it hurts soo much...i am glad that miss phoebes brought up how other girls masturbate...i was beginning to think i was rlly weird for rubbing just above my clit and also just below - w/e i feel like! *feels normal and happy!*

dry humping is when you rub up against eachother with clothes on or just panties. when you grind against eachother, but there is no nudity or actual touching of genitals (theres always a layer of fabric or two inbetween the two of you) does this answer your question?

ps, not all porn is bad, some porn is actually very arousing, and not all adult films can be categorised as impersonal and chauvenistic. try

no no no porn is wrong, people who havn't experienced sex shouldn't look at porn as it gives them the wrong idea about sex, I mean come on who actually does have sex like they do on porn movies usually its "Man pushing woman around doing what he wants and cums in her face" Is that how you all treat your wives/girlfriends/partners/toys no You shouldn't do this. I (me) Havn't experienced sex, Only fingering once and when I did this she put her hand over mine and pushed my fingers in further (what is this "dry humping" I don't understand what this word means) but I havn't had sex and looking at porn I don't no how 2 have sex now? I mean.. I dunno....

its ok your girlfriend probably wont know what the hell shes doing either. its nothing to get all worked up about. look at some porn just to see what one looks like and when youre with your gf, just play around and experiment. first times are always a little awkward at first, but it gets better with time.

well, depending on how you do it, there are different answers to this. if you lick her clit, it shouldnt be too sensitive, especially if you do it lightly. if youre talking about manually stimulating her, then i would have to say it depends on the girl. Most girls i know masturbate by rubbing just above or just below their clit in a circular motion. Its the way i do it, and it always works for me. Be gentle with her unless she tells you otherwise, and maybe try rubbing her clit through her panties before you do it directly. Depending on her response, you will know what to do next.

ne1 think stimulating the clit directly's way to intense??

Little to the left Alspals69, oooohhhh yeaaaaahhhh, right there, more baby, more, ahhhhhhhh

This is very interesting, i've never set out to do this. I will have to have a go at it though, i love the idea.