Good day,
Im just a regular guy kind of. I love to have sex with a woan over a guy.. yes at one time i expermented with me thinking since i cant touch much less "eat" a woman out I might be gay. So this is my question... im with a girl and we are really in love... nothing else bothers us but sec and we dont.. or better yet I dont know where to go to get some info so im here. We have been to a sex counsilor and he told me to go home.. put on a rubber glove.. and go explore. I found they whole experence really disgusting with the ample amounts of liquid and the whole slimey feel of it. Is this natural?? Im guessing not from reading the forums and yes I did start with the first time guidelines just couldnt find a "search" option. So heres the thing.. I love having sex with a woman but the touching the pussy part I really do not like.. Could it be cause the woman im with is more plus size then what im usally was with? I dont know.. so please dont get all rude and stuff I dont mean any bad feelings to my problem to anyone taking a offense.. Im just trying to find out something well anything i can on this.. Ive been this way all my life really.. and no I dont think im gay.. just doesnt feel right when i was expermenting in my younger years.. .. I just dont know.. any clues? and links to read?
Found the search... looking threads up now.. please still free to reply to this one.
We have had men here who object to the smell and/or the taste or the menstrual juices. I have never encountered a man posting here, or in real life, who found the pudenda "disgusting" while still wanting to insert his penis to a vagina.
You seem to want to touch it with your penis but not with your hand. Consider being with a woman who refused to touch your penis but wanted it to be ready to enter her. Make sense? You have developed an aversion to pudenda somewhere. Who knows where or how you learned that the female parts were nasty or dirty or slimy or disgusting. It was learned somewhere. I am not certain that this would fall within the purview of a sex counselor, although I would have recommended seeing one and would even have suggested the same treatment - put on surgical gloves and look around.
Most counselors have dealt with a variety of phobias and that is what this sounds like. Being phobic blocks potentially pleasant experiences. Any woman will realize quite soon that you are resistant to touching her private parts. Given the hangups that many women about their own parts, this reluctance will cause reciprocal withdrawing. You seem to indicate that this has been an ongoing issue with other women. Therefore, I would doubt that it has anything to do with your present partner. I admire her having gone to the counselor with you and making herself available as a "training aid."
Stated simply, if a guy is not going to touch me there, he is sure as hell not getting his jollies in there!
I recommend that you see a psychotherapist who has dealt with phobias of various sorts and see if you can root this one out. It is surely going to affect all relationships with women.
thank you for your post.. I have been looking for more info on this online.. seems the only way to get over the fear is to just do it. which im cool with.. just personally find disgusting.. does anyone else used to suffer from this ever get better? Intrested in learning more.
[QUOTE=LickMyGamete;235921]Wow, what an unsexy word (pudenda)[/QUOTE]
This particular disgust over female genitalia is mind boggling to me. Maybe there is some deepseated psychological reason.
LickMyGamete, you think pudenda and the singular, pudendum are unsexy? I think it is a sexy sounding word. Oddly it comes from the Latin pudere meaning to make or be ashamed of...
[QUOTE=dlb;235936]This particular disgust over female genitalia is mind boggling to me. Maybe there is some deepseated psychological reason.
...[/QUOTE]
Same here.....
But...... If the "Brain" held so much disgust for the Vagina, why does
it not reject the idea of having the penis enter into it?
So in saying that maybe there is some hope:)
[QUOTE=Brandye;235885]pudenda.[/QUOTE]
Wow, what an unsexy word.
Nobody, this has been a problem with everyone you've been with? Or is it more extreme with this partner (because you specifically state she's bigger than your previous partners)? If she's really obese and/or you just don't find her body attractive, then exploring it with gloves might not be the best idea.
Do you find the female body attractive at all? Personally, I love my wife's hour glass shape, and lying with my head on her thighs/hips when she is naked is such a turn on, and leads to fun times =).
Hopefully, someone else will respond with personal experience. I have never been around a man who indicated that he found this such a turn off. All phobias can be gotten over with help.
Yeah, well, I can sympathize with OP. The first time I saw the full meal deal, I nearly hurled. Thankfully, I got over it! :D
Interesting thread. I have found most men to be quite in a rush to get to what I am sitting on. I never thought of a part of me being slimy, disgusting or the cause of someone vomiting!
Brandye, You learn something new everyday dontcha?
;)
Yes, wet, I do. This has been in the back of my mind all afternoon and I do recall some similar stuff from long ago days at Unicersity. The women's group at school was reading misogynist literature. I guess we wanted to know the enemy or some such. One of the books (they were all terrible) compared the crack in a woman's bottom to a sewer pipe. I did not have to have that recalled for me!
Sounds a bit like the issue here does it not?
Let me guess, what was you first one like? if there was something 'disgusting' (i don't recommend this word to discribe anything about a woman), it probably stuck.
So rewind and see, delete the offending experience and come back to life, there's nothing 'disgusting' (what a word!) about the best part of a woman's anatomy.
You are missing alot bro!
Brandye,
Speaking for myself, ummm no not at all. In fact, the vagina was presented as an object of desire, in a more or less natural state (other than the pose). Heck, there was even pubic hair (yes, once upon a time such a thing did exist in the world, not so much it seems these days...). I was young, and it just kinda grossed me right out. Had nothing to do with any kind of literature that I'd read or anything. It was just yucky looking.
What a fool I was back then! :D
It scares me how dumb I was. Jeez... :D
If this brought back misogynistic literature that was not my intent or my meaning. It was just my own personal experience upon the first encounter. It was kinda like "Wow! Yuck!"
Like I said though, I got over it. Love pussy now! Bring on the pussy! BOO YAA!!!
I really don't understand this since I have always be intrigued with the vagina. The first time I touched one was great and have enjoyed it ever since. So I really don't have any advice. My wife had me pull off the road once and wanted some action. Not long after I parked the car and got out to strip down, I looked and she was in the back seat laying down naked with her legs spread. All I could think of was that pussy looks so tasty and I dove right in and gave her some great oral. I think I enjoyed it as much as her before finishing with intercourse.