I am a male, 18 years old, and my dilemma is quite weird (although I'm sure you've heard everything at this point).
My girlfriend and I have been dating for a while now and recently started having sex. We have been doing the responsible thing with birth control and even told her mother that she would be on the pill so that her parents would feel (at least a little bit) at ease with the whole thing, so that when sex finally happened, we'd be mature and responsible about it. So about a month after going on birth control, when we actually started having sex, her parents found out and pretty well banished me from their house when they're not home, regardless of if I am over to study or just hang out. Before, it wasn't a problem, and now its not. My main issue is that my girlfriend won't talk about it with her parents. She won't stick up for us because she is afraid that she will get yelled at or punished (and she will). But I feel like she isn't trying hard enough to get them to trust that I can come over without adult supervision. It's not like we're having sex on their couch, they just don't trust us. I'm getting frustrated with my girlfriend not sticking up for us and I don't want to have to lie or rush to spend time together, let alone have sex. How do I tell my girlfriend to fight for us without breathing down her throat, or should I be breathing down her throat about it? It has been about a month like this now. Thanks for your help.
She has to feel comfortable talking to her parents. Well, you could go over and study & watch TV w/them all...I know very comfortable huh? when they are there. And if you want to be intimate, you leave the house & go out together. Her parents might not like it but what happens under their roof is their choice. She can't say...mom & dad please leave us alone b/c I need to get screwed...Her parents don't like it, so just go over for visits, and go out together for other stuff. If you force it on her (to talk to them) or put it directly on the table in their face, bad idea. Don't ask & don't tell rules here.
My parent had ideas...they blindly left to go out and get ice cream for an hour...and they always said be right back in an hour...etc. They DID NOT want to know!
The issue is actually that I am rather good with her parents. My girlfriend and I used to be best friends before we started dating and I have a very good rapport with them. It is to the point that when I go over for dinner or something, I'm helping set the table and clean up afterwards.
We spend time at her house with her parents, as we do at mine. We have never and would never ask them to leave to have intimate time together, but when they are at work for the entire day, I am not allowed to go over. Also, whenever she asks to come over to my house, if no one is home here, they don't let her. And what makes this all worse is that they say she is an adult and deserves to be making her own decisions.
I am assuming she is your age as well. This is something she needs to stand up to her parents on, not going out to have sex, rather expecting to be treated as an adult and one who could legally marry if she wished without their consent.
She is an adult and it's up to her to expect to be treated as one...meaning allowed out of the house without supervision. How do you two go to a movie? With a chaperone?
I am thinking about this while I make brownies...When I was 18, I had finished my first year of college, worked full time as a waitress, came home at 2 am from work, all my parent knew was if I was at college, work, or out with a bf or on a date...or out with my friends bar hopping (I could drink at 18 but generally did not). I cleaned the house when home, cooked dinner if I had a night off then "went out". End of story. That is really odd if she is 18!!! What if you talk to them, that if she is out with you--you promise to return her safely? I mean she's not 15 is she?
no parent wants their daugther having sex under their roof. period. i talk very openly about sex with my mom, she knows i have it, and she still doesn't let my boyfriend over.
this is what i say me and my girl friend have done this forever after we cant go anywhere without someone breathing down our necks (accept for my job ;) ) anyway what i say is that you have fun with her while her parents are around thats what we do movie theators are nice untell she starts moaning... that wasnt good anyway thats what i say i say you have sex on her couch its kinda stupid but what is she going to get into more trouble... its imposible sorry one quick question how did you get cought? :eek: