Yesterday we attended a cousin's anniversary party/dinner with extended family and friends of the couple. The many conversations involving the one hundred fifty people in attendance all evolved around current events, historical events and memories, as well as hysterical recollections.
Had I known, I would have brought along my iPod "Touch" with audio recorder to record my cousin's husband's tribute to his wife and the reasons for the success of their marriage--it was that good. His story began when he moved to our town in the seventh grade. His only friend, a boy, asked if he wanted to attend a party and get to know some kids. He said yes. Next question: would you like to take Mary Anne? Answer: Yes! who is she? What does she look like? Later he asked this new girl out and she replied "yes", and thus began a series of "yeses" on both their parts that has defined their next fifty plus years together.
* Do you want to go to the dance? Yes.
* Do you want to go to the movie? Yes.
* Do you want to go steady? Yes.
* Will you wear my key around your neck? Yes
* Will you go to the game? Yes
* Will you go to the prom? Yes
* After getting a drivers license and car, Mary Anne's
boyfriend asked if he could take her to school each morning?
Yes. He picked her up every morning and drove her to
school even though it was only about six blocks away.
Her boyfriend had an after school job at a pharmacy
and knew he wanted to become a pharmacist.
* He asked Mary Anne if she would marry him. Yes
* After graduation he asked if she would move to a
small town not too far away so they could purchase
a pharmacy that was for sale. Yes
* A few years later he suggested that it might be time
to start a family. How about it? Yes. What about a
girl first? Yes.
* A few years later the story continues with the question
of having a boy the second time. Yes
As the years went by her husband became the mayor of
their town, saw to it that bridges and roads and homes
were built. He became the pastor of their church as well
as a civic leader in other ways.
Mary Anne had her own questions for which "yes" was the
reply, but this is her husband's tribute.
My reason for relating this story is to demonstrate first hand that relationships are indeed partnerships. As noted in one of the articles listed in the Index, it takes two "yeses" for some activity or event to happen, yet only one "no".
Confrontations-- About Fighting, Arguing & Negotiating
Another reason for writing this post is because I just finished rereading a recent thread in which the o/p stated that he and his girlfriend had just had a fight and patched things up--sort of, he would like to think. Young people, especially, want to be right and thus when they fight about an issue, instead of arguing or debating, they become "right fighters". What each party fails to understand is that when someone wins a fight, there will always be a loser. Do you want your partner to be a loser?
What do you love about your girl- boyfriend? Eliminate the following:
* physical attributes
What makes your heart flutter when you see him/her?
There will always be differences of opinion; however, the most successful relationships last because the two individuals involved desire it and work together. Learn the gentle art of negotiation, always striving to give your partner the most of what s/he wants without giving up the core of what you want.
If a relationship is worth having then this means that there must be maintenance and this requires time, effort, and energy. Do not become complacent. Guys often believe in conquest and once the "prey" has been snared, believe that no more effort is required. WRONG. Regardless of how many conquests, how many pursuits of hobbies or other interests, you must still allocate quality time for her and thus you as a result.
Wake up each morning and ask yourself: "what can I do today to make his/her life better. Then, do it.
Never fail to show and to demonstrate the love and respect each of you has for the other.