Well, I am a bit uncomfortable posting in this forum as it is a women's health section, but I need some help from the talent in this group.
The issue is that my wife has fibroids, none large and no risks insofar as cancers or other bad things, but the bad thing is that they consistently bleed during intercourse. She has gone to her doctor a couple of times, he has reinforced the diagnosis and said the only real cure he is aware of is to perform a hysterectomy, which neither my wife or myself think is a good idea, especially since everything else is working properly.
We have noticed that there is a marked difference in bleeding at various times in her cycle....virtually none in the week after her period is finished, some marginal and variablity in week 2, with bleeding almost guaranteed during any sexual activity in the week before her period starts. I gather from my reading that this is fairly typical.
In terms of alternatives, she does not want to perform oral sex on me at all, even though I perform it on her almost every time we have sex (she really likes it by the way...pretty well demands it). Manual stimulation has not proven to be very good for me...and she is not much interested in it either....
In her defence, she is a very small person, about 5' tall and I am 6' 4" and she physically cannot fit my cock into her mouth hardly at all....so it is not entirely unwillingness on her part.
So the question is, what to do? The bleeding is enough to make a fairly big mess, it most definitely will soak through a towel on the sheets and it certainly dampens my enthusiasm quite a lot. She says it does not hurt at all, but I worry about that. We have been married for 28 excellent years, I get concerned that she would hide any pain so that she isn't hurting my feelings....I would rather stop sex than hurt her.
Can the medical profession do anything about this? Is there any lubricant/substance that would prevent or reduce the bleeding? Can fibroids be removed without the drastic step of a hysterectomy?
Thank you all for any help or ideas you can offer.....
D.
The bleeding is coming from within the uterus and there no topical application that you can even get in there. So, no, there is no home remedy or medication that can be used to reduce this.
During sex, the fibroids are moving around and dislodging parts of the uterine lining that would usually be shed during her period. Some women have this effect from walking - a perpetual, low level period. No real physical pain involved but some women do wear a pad or tampon nearly the entire month. The doctor's insight that surgical removal is the only thing to be done is likely quite correct. I would recommend a second opinion so that you are conviced you have covered all possibilities.
At the ages you appear to be (married 28 years), she will not be having periods much longer except as induced by the fibroids. I assume also that children are not being wanted or anticipated. The hysterectomy is not the end of the world and will leave everything else still working.
I would recommend the second opinion and, likely, the hysterectomy. As for the oral and digital stimulation, that is up to you two and none of my business.
If she is opposed to the hysterectomy, I did see where there are new techniques to treat fibroid which is ablation. Here is a link with a brief description:
http://healthgate.partners.org/browsing/LearningCenter.asp?fileName=1186...
Thank you for the feedback, Brandye and Sera. Brandye, you gave a better and more meaningful explanation of what the heck the things are than any of the doctors we have heard from. Thank you kindly.
In terms of hysterectomy, issue is that my wife's mother had periods well into her 60's (my wife is 50 years old), so is wondering whether it is healthy to keep things working naturally for as long as possible.
We will investigate other opinions...
Thank you again.
D.
If the ovaries are left in place, there are no real "health" effects after hysterectomy. The symptoms of menopause even appear but lessintense and no erratic periods - no periods.
The ablation sera mentions is sometimes used but not usually at older ages (older in relation to menopause). Assuming the fibroids are not huge, no big scar will result; the hysterectomy could be done vaginally or with a scope. If the fibroids are of significant size, an abdominal scar would result.