Ok..I have a guy that is like..SUPER DAD!! He's a hard worker, he cleans, he cooks, he bathes the kids. We just had a baby together...(he'll be 1 on the 15) and I have a 6 year old from a prior relationship. ..My 6 year old calls him daddy.
I'm totally in love with this guy..we've been together nearly 2 years. I'm 28..he's 34 He's intelectual, he looks amazing, and we have alot in common. I'm totally in love with him.
Here's the problem(s):
He told me in so many words that my weight was a problem..I was never skinney and then I gained weight with the pregnacy..bout' 45 lbs (I didn't see myself as obese when we met though)..anyhow I started working out and am now 20 lbs lighter than when I met him .I'm like 5'10 and a size 10. I thought this would help our sex life. I was wrong
Also when I was pregnant He was working on the road..I saw him about every month and a half for a week. He would barely touch me. I had a huge sex drive..and I love him..and I felt so regected so many times.
He still doesn't want sex, he says he does, but he never does anything (save masturbating in the shower). I tried to intiate it for a while, but after being refused so many times I won't do it anymore..I don't want to feel rejected
I'm more adventurous than him..I've had kinky adventurous sex in the past. I don't compare him to my exes, I don't even want to do the same things. I understand he's not comfortable with crazy wild sex..fine..but he could try something different once in a while. It's always the same three positions...he climaxes in under five unless he's drunk (which is rare thank God because I've found that drunk sex is lousy, I just end up in pain) He also never makes a sound..I' don't know rather he enjoys it or not. Noise is a huge turn on for me..and it helps me climax..(rush of passion and emotion and what not)
When he does leave me hanging and I have to finish the job myself...he just rolls over to go to sleep and ignores me (in spite of my telling him time and time again that it upsets me when he does that) Have you ever tried to masturbate when the person next to you starts snoring..feels pathetic..exspecially when they are the one who left ya hangin'. When I can talk him into helping me out he's lazy about it. He gets all comfy, lays hid head on my chest and licks my nipple. I feel embarrased and pathetic to have to ask him to be part of me pleasing myself. I would think that he would enjoy it or at least act like he does to help me get into it. 
I've given up on getting oral from him but I still give it to him on occasion because I enjoy doing it (I really do). He's says he doesn't know how (the same excuse he gives me when I want a message) I told him I would teach him..and help him along.
The biggest problem it that I'm horny nearly every night (I've only gotten it once in the last month) and all these guys keep coming into my work and hitting on me and flirting with me. I don't want them, but the prospect of something fresh and new and passionate at this point is a mild temptation. I would never cheat on him...I love him so much. I just wish we had a better sex life..I've asked him If I was doing something wrong..or if I could do something more to help him get in the mood..what his fantasies are. I would let him do anything to me (provided it dosn't involve other people). I need sex more than once a month. I don't want it with anyone else. I want to make love to him...with him.
He also says it takes me too long to climax...?
I only get 5 minutes most of the time, which he does say is my fault because I "feel too good"
It's hard to get him into bed...but when I do I think he's maybe distracted or concentrating to hard. i don't know.
I know my body isn't perfect..even though I lost alot of weight (for both of our benifits).I don't even make him look at me..we do it with the lights off or dimmed(partially for my comfort and security.) even when we can see each other he never looks at me (you know gazing into my eyes and stuff)...
My feelings are really hurt...I don't want anybody else, I want to make love to him...with him.
Help please!
If all the love is reciprocated, he will be willing to visit a counselor with you. If he is not willing to do that, you have some tough decisions to make.
I'm with LittleFury. This sounds bad. My boyfriend does not have a huge sex drive, but he doesn't do stuff like that! He just sounds plain mean sometimes. I'm sorry. I mean do you need to look like a supermodel in order to please him? I sure hope not.
He may be wonderful in other areas, but if he does not make you feel needed and attractive, your eyes will continue to wander.
Good luck and keep us updated!
I would recommend that the two of you got to the marriage counselor. Even thought you are not married, they can still help. I think that might be your best bet.
wow i feel really bad for you. my ex-boyfriend and father of my 2 children, ALWAYS wanted sex. in fact i had to fight him off alot of the times, but really i loved the fact that i turned him on so much. is your boyfriend having trouble getting turned on? can he get a hard on easily? i've never met a man who was not interested in sex as much as this. i did have an ex in the past who was a little on the boring side. he never made a noise during sex and i never knew if he came until he pulled out and rolled over. so that bothered me. sounds like you've tried communicating to him about the problem but just try sitting him down and having a heart to heart talk with him. be open and honest about how this makes you feel unwanted. maybe you two could try something new. maybe watch a porn together. i've done this with my ex and he can't stand it. he has to get me in bed ASAP. i hope everything works out for you. let me know if things get better!
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